Korean Job Discussion Forums

[blondebecky]

Hi all - I'm a virgin poster here so please excuse me if this post is off on a bit of a tangent.

I'm heading to Korea with my boyfriend (who I met here over a year ago - still together, yay!) to (
a) meet his family; and

(b) figure out if I want to take a "gap" year after finishing my law/arts degree to teach English there.

Among other issues, I'm a bit worried about the attention my boyfriend & I will draw. I'm from Sydney, Aus, which has to be one of the most multicultural cities in the world but my boyfriend & I are constantly stared/pointed/whispered at/about. I have even on a few occasions had racist and derogatory statements called out to me by various (caucasian) men. However, the majority of attention comes from Korean (and Asian, generally) people, who constantly stare at us wherever we go.

Are Koreans, by and large, opposed to cross-cultural pairings? I'm a bit apprehensive about drawing the wrong kind of attention/harrassment. Has anyone in a similar situation some advice for me?

[laogaiguk]

[Homer]

You will draw stares.

Harrassement...I think is highly unlikely (but that depends on what you mean by harrassement)....

[jajdude]

I figure this is a good question for the foreign/white girls with Korean guys here. I know the foreign/white guys with Korean girls get their share of attention and some negative response, but I wonder if it's the same for your type of couple.

I guess it's easy to figure out why this happens: limited contact with outsiders.

[dangsangirl]

Don't worry. I am married to a Korean man and have never had any major problems. Maybe the odd look on the subway, but nothing I wouldn't get if I were alone. As a foreigner in Korea you will occasionally (often!!) be stared at and your reaction to those stares will range from oblivion (on a good day) to annoyance (if you got out of bed on the wrong side!!)We live in quite a close-knit neighbourhood in Seoul and have the loveliest friends and neighbours. I feel quite at home and have never experienced any negative reactions from anybody. Come to Korea, meet the family and discover your boyfriend's country and culture. I bet your experience will weigh heavily on the positive side. One thing to consider is the family. If they are accepting of and open to your relationship then your biggest worry is non-existent. I hope that is the case for you. Good luck!!!

[Corporal]

[mateomiguel]

I've never had any negative attention, but lots of positive attention, while out with my korean girl. The last 3 times we've been out, someone has asked to take our picture. Once an old adjossi stopped us on the street and talked to us for about 15 minutes on the beauty of the springtime, and then gave my girl some flowers. NO, I'm not joking. I know its hard for you to take on this board, old adjosshis handing out flowers and talking about springtime, but IT REALLY HAPPENED. in english too.

[Zyzyfer]

[dulouz]

[Zolt]

It should not be that bad for you I think... Wearing a "I'm not russian" T-shirt will probably help though.

[EH]

I've been married to a Korean guy for a few years now. People do notice us. But not that much. And when they do bother to notice that we're not both Korean, the standard reaction from young men on the street is "Oh, yeah!" as if to say--lucky dude. Male taxi drivers always ask what on earth we eat at home, as if that were a huge problem we had apparently overlooked all this time. The standard reaction from older women is a warm smile. Younger women have no reaction. Not sure why.

You'll probably only get good reactions from strangers. Don't give it a second thought.

But DO give the reactions of your BF's family some real thought before going. They're the ones you have to worry about. If you make a good first impression, you're golden. Otherwise, it's hopeless. How to make a good first impression?
--bring a nice gift. Ask your BF for advice.
--volunteer to help cut fruit, wash dishes, and cook food.
--smile shyly and warmly. (When you know them better, you don't have to pretend to be shy anymore)
--don't chew gum or wear immodest clothing.
--eat whatever you're served (neatly) and gush about how good it is.
--don't eat until your BF's dad starts to eat first.
--if you want to get married, and plan on asking permission, have your BF teach you how to bow properly.
--try to learn at least a few phrases in Korean, to show you're trying.

Good luck!
-EH

[djsmnc]

[blondebecky]

[Corporal]

[Qinella]