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Swallowing my pride - how can I win her back?
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potblackettle



Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: South Korea

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rocklee, I met my (now) husband when I was 16. We became really close friends and a year later I moved to NYC while he stayed in South Carolina. Every single morning I woke up to an email from him. They were never very long, usually just something like, "Good morning muffin I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't take any wooden nickels. Love, D". Or he'd send me links to neat websites or recommendations for good clubs/bars/museums (he's from NJ). Gradually the emails got longer and he started calling... he drove 10 hours on his motorcycle to be there for my 18th birthday. When I moved back to SC a couple of years later it naturally blossomed into love. We've been together for 5 years and married for 5 months.

It's not the money or even the time that counts, it's knowing that the person cares. Find out what she likes, send her neat pictures you know she'll like or funny websites. Drop her a cheap postcard that says you wish she was there... those things matter.
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tzechuk



Joined: 20 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

potblackettle wrote:
Rocklee, I met my (now) husband when I was 16. We became really close friends and a year later I moved to NYC while he stayed in South Carolina. Every single morning I woke up to an email from him. They were never very long, usually just something like, "Good morning muffin I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't take any wooden nickels. Love, D". Or he'd send me links to neat websites or recommendations for good clubs/bars/museums (he's from NJ). Gradually the emails got longer and he started calling... he drove 10 hours on his motorcycle to be there for my 18th birthday. When I moved back to SC a couple of years later it naturally blossomed into love. We've been together for 5 years and married for 5 months.

It's not the money or even the time that counts, it's knowing that the person cares. Find out what she likes, send her neat pictures you know she'll like or funny websites. Drop her a cheap postcard that says you wish she was there... those things matter.


Sweet story. It reminds me of my ex boyfriend. He did similar things for me.

He is an American expat living in London. I lived somewhere North, about a 3 hour drive away or 2 hours by train. We only saw each other once a month - usually me going down to London when I had the time.

In the meantime, he would send me letters (this is somewhat pre-email, in 1997) with newspaper clippings in them that he thought I might find interesting and he would call me every day, right on the dot, at 5.30. We talked for an hour at a time.. yeah everyday. Don't know what we found to talk about now, but we did talk.

I knew we would not be able to ever be together - he is African American, I am Chinese British - see the problem? But gradually I realised that I was falling in love with him. At the same time, he was called back to the States as his mother was dying of cancer. We broke up after that and I felt awful. I cried for a whole week.

Anyway, my point is, yes, you are right. A girl can always tell if you are worth the time by your action.
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Junior



Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tzechuk wrote:


I knew we would not be able to ever be together - he is African American, I am Chinese British - see the problem?


Not really, tzechuk.
A skin colour difference is not a big deal, this is the 21st century.
I thought love and newspaper clippings conquered all?
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rocklee



Joined: 04 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Junior wrote:
"My korean is non existent so we survived on her English".

This implies she's korean.


Oh well F*** it then. Better ask for advice on a Mongolian or Chinese site or wherever she's from, sorry I tried to help.


Yeah, she's not Korean! I wonder where you missed that part?

She's Japanese, who can speak Korean and a bit of English. I can't speak Korean so we just communicate in broken Japanese and English.
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Junior



Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tzechuk wrote:

Anyway, my point is, yes, you are right. A girl can always tell if you are worth the time by your action.


And so can a boy. I must say I've ditched a lot of women because they simply didn't prove they loved me. I mean they don't call, I always have to be the one to ask them to do stuff..whats that? One sided. I'm into equality. I want a pro-active woman. Someone who is prepared to do things and take emotional risks. Not afraid to initiate or wear her heart on her sleeve.

Finally I have one now who's been emailing me about once a week for several years. Its almost good enough, but every day would be better. She buys me what she can, that stream of little gifts- a tie here, sunnys there- shows she at least thinks about me.

I test her a lot poor thing, just to make sure she's up to the job of supporting me emotionally and financially. I introduced her to my best friend (another woman) the other day and we all went shopping together for me. Can you believe she actually got jealous? What a turn off.

I guess i'll give her 5 more years and if she's still sending designer stuff, I may just decide she's worthy to marry me. I am the ultimate prize after all.
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seoulshock



Joined: 12 Jul 2005

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Junior wrote:
tzechuk wrote:

Anyway, my point is, yes, you are right. A girl can always tell if you are worth the time by your action.


And so can a boy. I must say I've ditched a lot of women because they simply didn't prove they loved me. I mean they don't call, I always have to be the one to ask them to do stuff..whats that? One sided. I'm into equality. I want a pro-active woman. Someone who is prepared to do things and take emotional risks. Not afraid to initiate or wear her heart on her sleeve.

Finally I have one now who's been emailing me about once a week for several years. Its almost good enough, but every day would be better. She buys me what she can, that stream of little gifts- a tie here, sunnys there- shows she at least thinks about me.

I test her a lot poor thing, just to make sure she's up to the job of supporting me emotionally and financially. I introduced her to my best friend (another woman) the other day and we all went shopping together for me. Can you believe she actually got jealous? What a turn off.

I guess i'll give her 5 more years and if she's still sending designer stuff, I may just decide she's worthy to marry me. I am the ultimate prize after all.


THANK YOU!
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Corporal



Joined: 25 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 9:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tzechuk wrote:
I knew we would not be able to ever be together - he is African American, I am Chinese British - see the problem?


No, you freak, we don't. Maybe you'd better explain it.
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potblackettle



Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I knew we would not be able to ever be together - he is African American, I am Chinese British - see the problem? But gradually I realised that I was falling in love with him. At the same time, he was called back to the States as his mother was dying of cancer. We broke up after that and I felt awful. I cried for a whole week.

Anyway, my point is, yes, you are right. A girl can always tell if you are worth the time by your action."

I'm sorry it didn't work out Tzechuk, but it's definitly true that actions speak louder than words.

And for the fellas who think the lady should pull their share... some of us do.

We don't give gifts, we give bjs (and the occaisonal video game).

That's something I've discovered... buying your man a videogame will keep you good for weeks. It's not even the actual game that makes them happy, it's the fact that you're aware and okay with their "hobby".

And I gotta say, the money I dropped on GTA was well worth it. 'Cause sometimes you just need to drive fast and kill a lot of people.
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The Man known as The Man



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Corporal wrote:
tzechuk wrote:
I knew we would not be able to ever be together - he is African American, I am Chinese British - see the problem?


No, you freak, we don't. Maybe you'd better explain it.


It means that the African-AMerican dude would make all the Brits jealous because he used dental floss-it's scarce in them there parts
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SuperFly



Joined: 09 Jul 2003
Location: In the doghouse

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey man, say this to her:

"I'm like the sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf"


She will fall over right there and proclaim her love for you... trust me.


Oh what the hell...you've got nothing to lose.
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princess



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Corporal wrote:
tzechuk wrote:
I knew we would not be able to ever be together - he is African American, I am Chinese British - see the problem?


No, you freak, we don't. Maybe you'd better explain it.


Uh-oh Corporal, I think we have a case of listening to Mommy or Daddy dearest here.
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stevieg4ever



Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Junior I have this problem so often its like exchange phone numbers and then they never pick up. went to a norebang with some new korean people i met through a friend, exchanged numbers with some girls at the end of the night, and now no answer??? wtf??? we had a gr8 time (or so i thought)..

although a lot of my close korean friends have admittdly said that korean women are strange and have a tendency towards shallowness and i shoudlnt worry. also said there phone might not be topped up so if they missed my call they couldnt respond even if they wanted to Very Happy which is altogether rather amusing. i havent called them much though..

Junior wrote:
tzechuk wrote:

Anyway, my point is, yes, you are right. A girl can always tell if you are worth the time by your action.


I mean they don't call, I always have to be the one to ask them to do stuff..whats that?
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stevieg4ever wrote:
Junior I have this problem so often its like exchange phone numbers and then they never pick up. went to a norebang with some new korean people i met through a friend, exchanged numbers with some girls at the end of the night, and now no answer??? wtf??? we had a gr8 time (or so i thought)..


Just to clarify, did you meet these girls at the noraebang? But they weren't hired snuggle-bunnies?
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stevieg4ever



Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

no no no kermo they friends of a friend i was with, one is about to go to university (or college as some would say) the other studying english. one is a bit younger (19) than me and one is older then me (29) im 24. this was in london

the norebang was just the first place we met. i have to state i have only left one call and one text..., they rushed to give me their phone numbers...

kermo wrote:
stevieg4ever wrote:
Junior I have this problem so often its like exchange phone numbers and then they never pick up. went to a norebang with some new korean people i met through a friend, exchanged numbers with some girls at the end of the night, and now no answer??? wtf??? we had a gr8 time (or so i thought)..


Just to clarify, did you meet these girls at the noraebang? But they weren't hired snuggle-bunnies?
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Junior



Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="stevieg4ever"]
Quote:
they rushed to give me their phone numbers...


They talked about you afterwards and compared notes. The less good-looking one poisoned the mind of the one you liked, against you: Result? neither will call. Either that or you seemed too eager to take their numbers and they figured you were over-keen.

Most K-women expect men to behave like korean men do. That is, forceful and persistent. You have to keep calling and stalking until they give in, if not physically force yourself on them. Most shameless neanderthal with least self respect wins.That way they get an ego boost to chat to their friends about ,as well as appearing to be the demure chaste innocents that korean culture has programmed them to be.


They also have competitions to see who can get the most men to call them. Phone that rings the most and for the longest wins. this is why you see women ignoring their phones constantly on the subway, turning the ringtones up loud and giggling to their mates.
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