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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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EFLtrainer

Joined: 04 May 2005
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:20 am Post subject: |
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C'mon, people! What's wrong with you all? A thread on an ESL/EFL board talking about politeness that only talks about WORDS?? Since when did tone, intonation, and stress not impart meaning? When you say these things with the right tone, stress and intonation, they can all be polite without saying please/thanks. Not to mention body language...
Words are not the only factor. |
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pegpig

Joined: 10 May 2005
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:30 am Post subject: |
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| EFLtrainer wrote: |
C'mon, people! What's wrong with you all? A thread on an ESL/EFL board talking about politeness that only talks about WORDS?? Since when did tone, intonation, and stress not impart meaning? When you say these things with the right tone, stress and intonation, they can all be polite without saying please/thanks. Not to mention body language...
Words are not the only factor. |
You're right. Thank you for pointing that out.  |
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potblackettle

Joined: 23 Aug 2006 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 4:20 am Post subject: |
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"gang ah jee wrote:
Adults don't tend use 'please' very much in English - it actually has the effect of strengthening requests, making it less polite. More common and polite in English are biclausal structures - eg. 'Could I get a glass of water?' vs. 'Give me a glass of water please.'
That's definiteely a North American thing.
To me (Brit), "can I get a beer?" is not polite in the least.
My NA friends say that all the time and always I feel like saying (sometimes do say) "maybe it'd be better if you said please".
Then again, my friend in Korea (American) thinks I'm the rudest, most uncivilized person he's ever met (which of course to me is the ultimate compliment). Not because I don't say please and thank you, but rather because I'm loud and swear a lot. You know when it's 3am and you're drunk, rowdy, foul-mouthed and obnoxious? Well that's me at 11am sober apparently."
Where in the U.S. are you people going?
Come to the southeastern United States... we'll be so polite it'll make your teeth hurt.
The only place I've ever experienced the kind of rudeness you guys are talking about is in NYC. And there it's not even rudeness... it's just that people are constantly in a big freaking hurry. That's why the south is polite, we don't hurry, so there's always time for "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and "have a nice day".
I agree though that politeness is lacking in general society and it's a real shame. As George Costanza said, "This is a society." Good manners and basic polite behaviour are the lubricant of any society. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| Where in the U.S. are you people going? |
They are obviously not going to the Midwest either. |
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Novernae
Joined: 02 Mar 2005
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 8:06 am Post subject: |
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| gang ah jee wrote: |
| Adults don't tend use 'please' very much in English - it actually has the effect of strengthening requests, making it less polite. More common and polite in English are biclausal structures - eg. 'Could I get a glass of water?' vs. 'Give me a glass of water please.' |
We must not be from the same place. Barring any strange intonation, without the please, that first one is kind of rude (like you're expeciting the service and it hasn't been provided and you are reminding them somewhat sarcastically of it) and the second one begins with 'give me' and gets an automatic 'gimme gimme never gets' response ( in my head as I'd never be so rude as to really say it). Just because it has please, doesn't make it polite.
Where I'm from we use please all the time. Could I have a glass of water, please? Could you please tell me where XXX is? Pass the potatoes, please. |
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