Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sjk1128]

Well, I work in public school and for the most part love my job: decent salary, months of vacation, nice coworkers, etc.

Unfortunately, lately I've just had too much of a good thing: the semi-obligatory dinner. This month we've had at least 8, possibly 9. Now, what we're talking about is a large free meal with alcohol, but for me it often involves sitting and smiling a lot without following about 70% of the Korean conversation. I can chill with the best of them and enjoy the occasional food/alcohol orgy for its own merits, but I place a far higher value on my free time. Lately, I've been spending more of my free time with these people than I spend with my own friends. I already see my coworkers 40 hours a week. Another 6-10 seems a lot to ask. Maybe I'm overreacting because I'm particularly tired today, but I just don't feel like it (doggonit)!!

I already made an excuse to get out of one of these dinners this month, but I get showered with questions about my well-being when I bow out of anything, like the mountain climbing today -- which will be followed by the above-mentioned dinner. One of my coworkers told me it would seem rude if I skipped this dinner since it's post-exams and pre-vacation, so I'm sitting at my desk writing to you people for wisdom.... That in itself speaks to the depth of my feeling of desperation. I'm sure this is part of the Korean experience - which I will later negotiate as adeptly and mindlessly as I now cruise through the subway stations which once seemd like obstacle courses full of miniature moving opponents. However, right now, I'm fed up (literally)!

Advice?

[kat2]

Is there any kind of pattern to the days? Is it always on a friday? Tell them you have a recurring appointment (bible study, curling club, whatever) that is every other Friday. That way you can go to some but not have to go to all.
They don't seem to understand that if someone actually talked to you during the dinners it wouldn't be so boring for us.

[Ya-ta Boy]

You have to learn to be pro-active about these things.

Rule #1 is that you already have a 'promise' that sadly prevents you from attending. This is said with an 'Oh, I'm sorry. Next time for sure, though".

Usually saying you have a 'promise' is enough. If someone should ambush you with a question as to why you aren't coming, a guaranteed out is that you promised to be home to receive a call from mom at that time. They don't know the exact time difference and it has worked well for me in the past. No Korean worth his salt is going to interfere with a call to/from Mom.

Rule #2: When you do go, exercise some ingenuity and sit beside the most entertaining people and, if necessary, attend with a list of conversation topics in your shirt pocket so you can keep them talking to you in English.

I don't know why you are having an over-abundance of these things at this time. Must be something local. Count on a bunch of them in November/December. I've said good bye to the old year when there were as many as 6 or 7 weeks of it left to go.

[sjk1128]

Good advice, kat2, but don't think it applies here. In fairness, this month it's particularly "bad" because we came back from August vacation, our old principal got promoted, a new one came, one of our coworkers also got promoted to vice principal in another school, and then (of course) we got a new coworker. Plus, to top it off, our exams are this week - the last week before vacation...

Dinner 1 celebrating principal's and coworkers' promotions [went]
Dinner 2 celebrating the day they actually left officially [went]
Dinner 3 celebrating arrival of new principal [went]
Dinner 4 visiting old principal at his new (better) school [went]
Dinner 5 visiting old coworker at his new school [didn't go]
Dinner 6 regular outing with my section of the office [went]
Dinner 7 one of coworker's father died [didn't go]
Dinner 8 regular outing with my section of the office [went]
Dinner 9 last day before exams [REALLY don't wanna go.]

And no, they've been on all different days of the week - though Wed, Thu, and Fri seem more popular days than Mon or Tue.

[adverge]

I work in a hagwon and sometimes the director takes all the teachers out for dinner and drinking and karaoke. I do my best to avoid these horrid situations but it's not difficult because he counts on the head teacher telling us. I don't like the head teacher and avoid talking to him as much as possible so when asked about why I didn't attend the night before is rewarded with a blank look and "Oh? You went out? I didn't know. Sorry, perhaps next time."

Avoid finding out about them. Works like a dream.

[spliff]

I only accept invitations from female students....ladyboys are politely refused..

[rawiri]

I'm in the same position. I use to go to these dinners without complaining (i mean it is free food and alcohol) but being the only foreigner at them sucks, so i stopped going altogether. I think the trick is to not associate outside of working hours with your teachers, i don't know about you but i value my free time, especially when your in a public school with the mandatory 9-5. I see enough of my coteachers through the day without having to hang out with them at night. that's what your friends are for.

I ended up HAVING to go to a dinner last week for one of the two schools i work at. It pretty much sucked but i smiled my way through it, everyone was getting hammered and a bunch of the PTA moms were there getting hammered as well and giggling like little school girls at me.

Once the other school caught wind that i had been out for dinner with them, the very next day they had a meeting with me that went something like this, "why do you have fuuny love feeling at _ school but not our school?, you should share your love, we are very jealous, lets go drinking". I laughed at them, i couldn't help it.

So my principal came into my classroom( never done it before) with a stern look on his face" rawiri teacher you have to come for dinner with us tommorow" me "sorry sir, i can't, i'm busy".

That was seemingly that.

I've just received a crap load of chuseok presents from them so i must still be in the good books a little but.

Anyways, if this is the worst thing i have to deal with this contract then i count myself as really fortunate.