Korean Job Discussion Forums

[SPINOZA]

Sometimes, things happen to us that are very trivial, they're over and forgotten about in a few minutes and with no lasting damage, but at the time are horribly unpleasant.

This morning was the worst morning I've had for some time. I'd eaten samgyetang the evening before and LOADS of kimchi (4 different kinds) and was very full. This morning I woke up and had 3 apples for breakfast and my usual huge cup of strong coffee. I did not have a dump before leaving for work. So....I left for work and stupidly decided to walk it all the way (30 mins at least) - usually I wake up too late and get the subway. Anyway, I was 25% of my way there and - BAM! - a huge stomach ache comes, like a brick was in there, and I need to sh*t SO badly, but couldn't, at least not immediately, and immediately was what was necessary. 10 seconds would've been no good - I needed to sh*t in my pants, on this street, RIGHT NOW! It was impossible to walk. But....I did a huge - truly huge - fart and the pain went away. Phshew! Sadly it returned 5 mins later, still less than 50% of my way to work. Same deal - I fart it away. Phshew! It returns, and I'm 80% of my way to work. I couldn't hold it this time - into the subway station I went, really struggling to not sh*t myself. Into the bathroom, into the cublicle, down with my pants and - CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY! - the world's biggest ever dump is unleashed, an absolute monster!

Is there anything relatively trivial that's worse than really needing to take a dump and not being able to?

[gang ah jee]

THIS THREAD SUCKS!

[Qinella]

Hilarious, man. This has happened to me a few times. Sorta like today. I've had to *beep* all day but had classes nonstop until now. It really puts me in a sour mood, too. I have very little patience for the children when I'm breaking out in a cold sweat and desperately need to just rip one.

One time I had to go so bad that I left in the middle of class and went to the bathroom. Just told the kids to be quiet and don't get in trouble. I came back and they were, surprisingly, not giggling and laughing about it. They asked me if I was okay. Little angels..

[billybrobby]

oh man, I laughed at that one.

I remember I was talking to my roomate and he told me how he was driving to work and he felt a little rumble in the jungle. He wanted to turn around but he was already late so he drove on. At he got closer, he stomach really started aching. By the time he got out of the car he was at the brink, and he had to race past all of his coworkers and ignore they're "good mornings" and "hellos" and sprint right to the bathroom. And of course, once you get in there, you gotta go twice as bad because your body knows it's sooo close to relief. so he just flew into the stall, whipped his pants down, and literally jumped onto the toilet, damn near firing off a shot while he was in midair. then he proceeded blast the toilet for a good ten minutes. in the dizzy glow of the aftermath, he realized that his leg was all wet and then he looked down to see that he had sprayed on himself! so he was forced to waddle over to the sink and wash himself off, with his doody stained boxers around his ankles, the whole time praying that nobody walked in. he had to throw the boxers out and cover them with paper towels and freeball it the rest of the day. Well, I laughed like hell when I heard this story, because it was funny. But also because the night before I had sabotaged his favorite hot salsa with about half a bottle of cayenne pepper. So it was all my fault! hahaha. that dumb son of a bitch! Never did tell him about that one.

[Satori]

[SPINOZA]

[flotsam]

But really, you're not looking for objective opinions are you? The way you described that, waterboarding or having to shag Laura Bush pale in comparison.

OK, those aren't trivial, you are right now saying--but the way you described the "gotta-goes" didn't make it sound very trivial either. You could make a mini-series out of that, mate.

[hack]

[CabbageTownRoyals]

*beep* GROSS, boys are so GROSS GROSS GROSS , I can't believe this is a topic you enjoy

*0*

How can I meet you Spinoza and not go, "ugh its gross poo boy" kkkk