Korean Job Discussion Forums

[SuperFly]

Squaffers had a huge crush on me.

[Ya-ta Boy]

[SuperFly]

I'm a sex magnet, it's all about how you care for your coat. Mine is black and shiny, everyone knows once you go black - you never go back.

[flotsam]

[sjk1128]

As everyone said, there is a thriving if, relative to western cities, hidden gay community in Seoul. There is one in Busan as well: roughly 30 establishments of one kind or another. However, gay dance clubs are conspicuous in their absence in Busan. I've had no trouble making gay Korean friends here either. Foreign guys are really popular with a lot of Korean gay guys: they'll want to meet you, make friends with you, have sex with you.... Unless you're butt-ugly, you'll be a "stud," and even then, you'll likely do just fine. There are many other issues, however. As in all things, Korean culture plays an often confusing role for the westerner in any kind of relationship here - and this holds true in the gay world.

Last year, I lived in Ulsan. There were only two gay (karaoke) bars. I heard there was one gay "sauna" too, but I never went. Apparently, gay "saunas" in Korea are not really such, but just dark dirty sleeping/ sex areas with no facilities aside from a shower. But if that tickles your fancy, then there ya' go. By the way, the gay karaoke clubs seem the most popular spots, at least outside Seoul.

In general, gay Koreans seem to do quite well until they hit 30 or so, when the enormous societal pressure to marry descends on them in force from family, coworkers, friends, etc. Then their lives often turn quite miserable. Many choose to live douible lives or eventually become estranged from their families. On the other hand, they have the advantage of being able to be quite intimate with their partners in public without anyone thinking anything is "amiss." Anything aside from kissing or actual sex in public will likely be interpreted by any Korean onlookers as two friends being affectionate or just horsing around. You may find your straight Korean friends surprisingly "open" in some ways:
they'll scrub your back at the baths
they'll grind you rather than the pretty girl on the dance floor
they'll feel completely comfortable touching any part of your body
they'll hold hands with you as you walk down the street
they'll crawl in bed beside you and go to sleep

Just be sure not to interpret any of the above as "gay," or "sexual." In Korea, that is not necessarily the case.

[gringo_al]

serously. thanks for the tremendous response to my query. its much more than I'd hoped for.

I was feeling really reluctant to try to move to South Korea and my mom and my sister were extemely concerned that I'd wind up being isolated and loney. having read your responses, I know the gay issue is the last thing I need to worry about. my family is going to be so relieved.

now to start concentrating on finding a job.

a

[gringo_al]

so I just read though the last 2 pages of reponses.

and I have to agree that the last question in my original post was a bit tacky. I didnt mean to cause offense or controversy.

I actually thought about erasing it before I posted. but I was feeling really apprehensive South Korea. like I dont speak Korean, I've never travelled in Asia, and the online researsh I'd done before I posted hadnt been very encouraging. I had this idea that if I went to Asia I'd have to go back into the closet, whcih I left when I was 11 years old.

so I was like what the hell? why not completely explicit? honestly I didnt expect that any one who wast LGBTQQI to check out the post. but I really do appreciate all the reponses by heterosexuals who offered very supportive and helpful recommendations.

thanks again.

a

[seoulsista]

[Junior]

OP- you could always Pm "dogbert."