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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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 Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 6:20 am Post subject: long distance anniversary ideas? |
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i'm sure i'm not the only person here who's been in this situation, so any advice would be greatly appreciated!
my wife and i will be celebrating our 7th anniversary soon, and while i'm here in green uiwang, she's in canada. i won't be seeing her anytime soon in person (webcams don't count), and i'm at a loss for anniversary ideas. we don't have much money currently, flowers aren't all that exciting, and a visit is out of the question! i'm willing, and would prefer to do something crafty, though internet shopping is something i could do. do you think gift certificates are cool? oh yeah, and i've got about 2 1/2 weeks...
what have you done? what would you suggest?
cheers,
rss 
 right now i'm listening to: epitaph - king crimson |
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Yo!Chingo
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: Seoul Korea
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| Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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Make up some gift certs on your own for free services at home or here when you see her. Give a couple for different massages, a couple for house cleaning chores you absolutely hate (she knows which ones you hate, trust me), and a couple for mmmmmmm special favors(you know what I'm talkin' about)  They can be used at anytime any place. That part kinda makes it interesting when you're in a public place  |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Why would ANYONE have a long-distance marriage? Isn't that the WHOLE point of getting married...to be TOGETHER?????? Just my 2 cent question. I wouyld do whatever it took to actually live with my spouse if I were you. |
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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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| Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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well princess, not that it's really the point of the post but...
i first came here six years ago, did my one year gig and liked it a lot. went back home to return to uni so i could actually teach professionally, with the intention of doing it in other countries (not canada). we were already together at that point, had been since before i came to korea, so we did the ld relationship thing then as well. we both knew that my intention was to teach abroad, and that wasn't really an issue.
then i got hired out of uni, teaching immigrants and refugees, and we got married during that time as well. we moved to another canadian city, i continued teaching, and started to feel a bit dissatisfied with my life. i wasn't doing what i had gone to uni to do.
at that point, my wife told me that she'd be happy to be a tourist, but not an ex-pat, that settling down in one place is her thing. she's in school full time, and will be for the next couple of years, and i am financially supporting her. my teaching in canada was just barely paying the bills, and we both agreed that this was the best option for us. i'm doing what i want/need to do with my life, getting it out of my system before we buy a house and get kids. i'm not in my dead end job anymore and i'm making considerably more money. she's in school, and needs as much quiet time as she can get to study, so i'm out of her way. so this is a compromise, suggested by her. it beats one of us following the other and being bitter. it's only 2 years, and really, we'd both rather miss each other for 2 years than find ourselves bitter and resentful for 40 years. and so far we're both happy with the decision. we did what was right for us.
so any thoughts on what to do for our anniversary?
rss
right now i'm listening to: about to drown - furnaceface |
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Novernae
Joined: 02 Mar 2005
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| Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| Why would ANYONE have a long-distance marriage? Isn't that the WHOLE point of getting married...to be TOGETHER?????? Just my 2 cent question. I wouyld do whatever it took to actually live with my spouse if I were you. |
Some people are comfortable enough with their relationship to know that being physically away from it for a while won't hurt it. Some people realise that there are times when it might actually be beneficial in the long run to sacrifice one aspect of happiness for another to avoid resentment that might build up. Some people are willing to make difficult short term decisions for the interest of the long term. Some people trust their SOs enough to do something like this. Some people aren't so stuck in the societal rule that marriage = work your a$$ off for a job you hate to buy a house for your 2.5 children and dog and work for retirement so you can then do the things you actually want to do. Some people see more to it than that. I could go on, but I've got better things to do. |
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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:19 am Post subject: |
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thank you novernae. all of those reasons (and more) are why my wife and i have chosen to do this.
rss
right now i'm listening to: up for sale - the (international) noise conspiracy |
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Yo!Chingo
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: Seoul Korea
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| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:31 am Post subject: |
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| Novernae wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| Why would ANYONE have a long-distance marriage? Isn't that the WHOLE point of getting married...to be TOGETHER?????? Just my 2 cent question. I wouyld do whatever it took to actually live with my spouse if I were you. |
Some people are comfortable enough with their relationship to know that being physically away from it for a while won't hurt it. Some people realise that there are times when it might actually be beneficial in the long run to sacrifice one aspect of happiness for another to avoid resentment that might build up. Some people are willing to make difficult short term decisions for the interest of the long term. Some people trust their SOs enough to do something like this. Some people aren't so stuck in the societal rule that marriage = work your a$$ off for a job you hate to buy a house for your 2.5 children and dog and work for retirement so you can then do the things you actually want to do. Some people see more to it than that. I could go on, but I've got better things to do. |
Well said! My husband and I love being together but we also don't freak out when we're apart for weeks or months at a time. If your love is strong, there should be no problem with seperation. |
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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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i'm bumping this because other than yo!chingo's suggestion, all i've gotten is debate over the reasoning for ld relationships.
yo!chingo, your idea of homemade gc's was great, but more suggestions would be appreciated!
help me out here guys!
cheers, rss
right now i'm listening to: the sound of settling - death cab for cutie |
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peemil
Joined: 09 Feb 2003
Location: Koowoompa
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| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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Get a pound of lard, video tape yourself eating it and then post it to Youtube.
There's not too many women who wouldn't be impressed with that. |
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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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thanks for that peemil! now all i need is some lard... maybe a plastic sheet as well...just in case!
rss |
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