Korean Job Discussion Forums

Newbie · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

So little Newbie is gettig married next month, and I'd just like to advise anyone thinking of doing the same to get ready for a shock.

The other day my misses comes up to me and says, "good news. my parents are thinking of letting us keep some of the money from the wedding!"

Shocked

"some!!!!" ... "thinking!!!"

what a scam.

kat2 · Joined: 25 Oct 2005 Location: Busan, South Korea

They had better be paying for a sweet apartment for you two with that money.

Lots of my kids have told me their parents take the money they get at Chuseok and Solleol.

ilovebdt · Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Location: Nr Seoul

Ok, can someone please explain why the folks get the wedding money?

I went to a wedding just this weekend and I want my money to go to the newly weds. They need it!!

ilovebdt

Corky · Joined: 06 Jan 2004

I think 10,000 won gets you a meal and the rest is supposed to pay for the wedding if it's in the wedding hall. I found out that the married couple don't get the money at the last wedding so I made two envelopes...one for the couple, which I gave on the side, and one for the table on the way in.

Milwaukiedave · Joined: 02 Oct 2004 Location: Goseong

I got married in June (we actually signed the papers in Jan though) and had a ceremony at a wedding hall. My wife did go down with her mom and set everything up, it was all in her (my wife's name) not her mothers.

The cost was about 3 million, which was about as much as we got from the guests. In the end it was a wash.

jmbran11 · Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Location: U.S.

Newbie - Who is paying for the wedding? If you are paying for the wedding, it's your cash. Stand up for yourself. If your future in-laws are paying, and the money is intended to pay for the shindig, well, then . . . it's all theirs.

I think it's crappy to expect people to pay to attend a wedding anyway. Gifts should be optional, not an admission fee. Of course, I eloped in Vegas, so maybe my perception is a bit off . . .

Beej · Joined: 05 Mar 2005 Location: Eungam Loop

The wedding culture here is f'd up. A man will keep a little written journal of all the weddings he has attended in his life. Name and amount given to that person getting married. When it is time for his children to marry, he expects at least the same that he gave. Of course this is adjusted for inlfation. Parents keep it all.

This is a true story. My friend married a korean woman here. Her savings were depleted (by her mom) so she didnt have much money to furnish their place, as is the brides duty. So she spent his money to the tune of 15 million refurbishing and furnishing the apartment his school gave him.
The husband also paid for a few round trip air tickets to the states so her parents could attend the American half of the wedding.
They had a big wedding, and collected about 35 million won. The parents gave them one million. Friend was pissed. Wife said its the Korean way. Friend said its also the Korean way for the woman to furnish the house which you didnt do. And they could have bought their own tickets to the states. Typical example of Korean playing both ends.
Just another example of why Koreans can not be trusted to do the right thing when money is invloved.

riley · Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Location: where creditors can find me

My mother in law kept the money from our wedding also. Of course she also fronted 10 million for it in the first place. She's also been generous throughout our marriage so I try to remember this and give some back to her.

Woland · Joined: 10 May 2006 Location: Seoul

wylies99 · Joined: 13 May 2006 Location: I'm one cool cat!

How about when co-workers who CAN'T even talk to you, (work at an English language school and can't speak ANY English), decide to invite you to their wedding? They just want your 30,000-50,000 wan. Lovely.

Isn't THAT special?

SuperFly · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse

You guys have cheap in-laws. We got about 45K USD.

My father in law kept enough to cover the cost of the wedding.

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

If the in-laws pay for the wedding, I can see them keeping the take. It's possible Koreans view the wedding take as small payback for the loads of money they paid to educate her. I'm gathering a) you didn't use your Korean skills to romance her b) her parents didn't get her a free English education. If they didn't drop large coin on her, she probably wouldn't be your bride. So, hey, be thankful.

Newbie · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

prairieboy · Joined: 14 Sep 2003 Location: The batcave.

My wedding was covered by myself and my wife. We set up everything and paid more than half of the cost up front. Total was about 10 million. We took in around 10 million from the "donations" and had to pay about 4 million to the wedding hall to finish paying off the wedding.

The father-in-law took the money with him and called my wife while we were on our honeymoon to tell her he'd return 1 million. Of course we raised quite a fit about this and how we had primarily covered the costs of the wedding. In the end he returned about 4 million to us.

He is required to basically make matching donations to the children of his friends when they get married so we didn't push to get the entire amount back.

ilovebdt · Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Location: Nr Seoul

Now all this talk about money is making me feel quite ill. Sad

A wedding is supposed to be a celebration!
A new couple is starting a new phase in their lives together.

Who cares who gave how much money.

ilovebdt