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laughing at my Korean language
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Dude Love



Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:00 pm    Post subject: laughing at my Korean language Reply with quote

Maybe it shouldn't bother me but it does very much. I get furious when Koreans laugh when I speak Korean no matter what their intention is, even if it's meant to be intimate, despite all their reasons why I shouldn't be offended it's very infuriating and discouraging. What I find most ironic is the Koreans I speak to about it always tell me why it shouldn't bother me but when I ask if they want me to laugh at their English they always say no.
How can I deal with this? It still bothers me after years here. Maybe it's time to leave Korea. Is there a polite/witty response? Last night I got very angry and discouraged and it's really getting to me. Maybe I have some sort of complex. Please help.
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Ilsanman



Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:03 pm    Post subject: yes Reply with quote

Not to sound arrogant here, but here is my thought.

I have spent a lot of time and money on learning Korean. When I speak Korean to someone, I am doing them a favour. I can be just like a lot of people and refuse to learn any Korean, or refuse to speak it even if I know. Just like I usually appreciate it when a Korean speaks English to me, because they're trying to help me or make it easier to me.

If they laugh at me, I no longer speak Korean to them. They don't deserve my help.
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ajgeddes



Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with both of you. As soon as they start laughing, and I am not telling a joke, I just stop talking to them in Korean.
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Dude Love



Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's an interesting point. Maybe I'll stop speaking Korean to anyone who laughs at me. Still, I'm with a club and don't want to seem beligerent and they would probably not have the slightest idea why I'm annoyed.
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djsmnc



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never had anyone laugh at my Korean. I've made them look like they are going to wet their pants, but not laugh.

OK, one time, but that's because I used a phrase that came out sounding like a bad word when it shouldn't have (and no, it wasn't 18, something a little more unusual).
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kat2



Joined: 25 Oct 2005
Location: Busan, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you told them that it bothers you. ITs extremely rude to laugh at you, but Koreans don't really have a rude meter that is up to western stadards. If you jsut tell them that it is really ofensive, maybe they will stop.
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laogaiguk



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kat2 wrote:
Have you told them that it bothers you. ITs extremely rude to laugh at you, but Koreans don't really have a rude meter that is up to western stadards. If you jsut tell them that it is really ofensive, maybe they will stop.


I look at it like Koreans aren't as easily offended as Westerners, whom are turning into fricken babies. Laughing at someone who is attempting to speak you language is rude though, even for them. I have never had this happen. I have only laughed a few times at English speakers, and not really laugh, but hide a bit of a giggle. Sometimes English learners can say some funny things by accident.
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mithridates



Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: President's office, Korean Space Agency

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kat2 wrote:
Have you told them that it bothers you. ITs extremely rude to laugh at you, but Koreans don't really have a rude meter that is up to western stadards. If you jsut tell them that it is really ofensive, maybe they will stop.


It's just as often that westerners don't have a thick-skinness that measures up to Asian standards.

As for me, I don't enjoy kindness from people I don't like and I don't mind rudeness from people I do. The reactions I get from people during the day as well seem to be 90% based on me, 10% based on them. Some days everything is just effortless and other days you know that it's best to stay low because you're going to end up arguing with someone.
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Gwangjuboy



Joined: 08 Jul 2003
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I look at it like Koreans aren't as easily offended as Westerners



I don't agree with this. Start laughing at them when they speak English and see the reaction you get.


Last edited by Gwangjuboy on Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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adventureman



Joined: 18 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think its safe to say that we, as learners of Korean, have ALL shared similar experinces..Just try in keep remindind yourself Korea is a close-minded and inward looking society which has not had non-koreans (and especially non-asian looking people) speaking their language for very long. I really wish korean was a more global language and more non-koreans had desire to learn 우리말, however with the lack of quality korean programs overseas and korean percieved inferiority complexes about their language and their nation which have been dicussed on there a million times already, I unfortunetly don't see that happening anytime soon...Therefore, if you can't learn to accept this kinds of things for what and ignore/accept their immature cultural traits, then you'd best move on...

Hey, for a real test in confidence-diminshment try using your korean on your middle school students:

Here is an example of a typical experience I have had when attempting to speak korean to my students..

Me: Ok class, today we are going to learn about how to make plans?..Do you know what 'plan' in korea is? It is 계획."

Certain students: (in high pitched, whiny 5-year-old voice) Kyyyeee Hweeeaaacccck!!!

It got the point where i was so constantly infuriated and discouraged..I had to tell the korean teacher to remind the students how rude and disrecpectful by contantly mocking my accent (he steadfastly disagreed and thought they were "encouraging me")

Like i said, all you can do is learn to develop a thicker skin or shrug it off....I wonder how korean speakers like the Beaver feel when they say they've been here 10 years and they still get the obligatory "oooooooo" and "한국말 잘해요!"...maybe it doesn't phase them in the least anymore becasue its happened to them so many times?


Last edited by adventureman on Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's annoying, yes. You how when you say something brilliant and they're all like 와! Shocked ? Well this is the other side of the coin - when you fook something up, they laugh at you.

I don't think it's mean-spirited laughter. Like many things Koreans do that piss me off, rarely if ever are they done to humiliate or patronize.

Think of these moments as opportunities to teach yourself a new phrase, like 씨빨 역겨운 사람, 왜 웃어? 괴로워하고 싶냐? 고문하고 싶냐?
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manlyboy



Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Location: Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's what you do:

As soon as they start laughing, slow your speech right down, raise your voice to an uncomfortably loud level, lean in towards them, open your eyes really wide, and annunciate in a drawn out, exaggerated style as though you're speaking to a retarded child.

They will stop laughing. Guaranteed.
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mithridates



Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: President's office, Korean Space Agency

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

adventureman wrote:
Like i said, all you can do is learn to develop a thicker skin or shrug it off....I wonder how korean speakers like the Beaver feel when they say they've been here 10 years and they still get the obligatory "oooooooo" and "한국말 잘해요!"...maybe it doesn't phase them in the least anymore becasue its happened to them so many times?


It kind of feels the same as when somebody calls me tall either back in Canada or over here. There really isn't much to say except yeah. Yeah, tall. Good. It's probably also the same feeling famous people get when somebody walks up to them and says something like "You're Christopher Walken!" Yeah, I'm still Christopher Walken!
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When people laugh/chuckle/giggle when I speak Korean, I think it's for a few reasons:

a) They're pleasantly surprised that I've responded correctly
b) They're amused because my accent is weird
c) I've said something nonsensical

I usually play along, i.e., "Yes, I'm adorable, aren't I? Please humour me." However, if I were trying to say something serious, or they laughed instead of answering me, I'd be ticked off.

What bothers me more is when people jump to conclusions about what I want/need, and ignore me when I try to communicate in Korean or English, just chanting "OK OK OK" as they drag me around. I'm still at the point where I have to think pretty hard before putting together a sentence, and I need a fairly patient listener.
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Qinella



Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Location: the crib

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

laogaiguk wrote:
kat2 wrote:
Have you told them that it bothers you. ITs extremely rude to laugh at you, but Koreans don't really have a rude meter that is up to western stadards. If you jsut tell them that it is really ofensive, maybe they will stop.


I look at it like Koreans aren't as easily offended as Westerners, whom are turning into fricken babies.


Mithridates wrote:
It's just as often that westerners don't have a thick-skinness that measures up to Asian standards.


I agree with you say about westerners being babies and thin-skinned, but I can't agree that Koreans are different. The OP said that the same people who laugh at him don't want their English skillz laughed at. I think if you were to laugh at someone speaking English imperfectly, or if you mimicked their pronunciation, they would not laugh along with you like it was a funny joke. Also, try telling a Korean that Korea actually has 3 or 5 seasons, or that Dokdo is rightfully Japan's, or that Koreans have really appalling table manners. The reactions will be typical and expected.


To the OP: What kind of club are you in that requires you to speak Korean?


Last edited by Qinella on Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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