Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Vince]

Coffee, it wasn't wrong to offer them the use of your monitor. Regardless of how ethnic these people are, they're in your country and are obligated to know your customs. The only thing I might advise is that, in the interest of meeting them halfway, offer only once. If they decline, let it go. I understand that you offered a second time because you thought there was a misunderstanding, but it's sometimes better to walk away rather than risk aggravating the misunderstanding. It sounds petty by Western standards, but asians often do it this way for a reason.

As for the ex-girlfriend, it sounds like she did the typical asian thing of acquiescing to the group. Group pressure is immense in Asia, and "screw what they think" doesn't have a place in their mentality. These are things you need to consider when deciding how deeply to get involved.

[Trinny]

Reminds me of the story I heard from a Korean friend of mine married to a Canadian guy.

For the record: She had lived with her husband for a year or two before they got married.

A couple of years into their marriage, my friend took in one Korean female student as a boarder. She is the girlfriend of the pastor of the Korean church my friend is going to (Protestant).

The pastor's girlfriend didn't come back home for many nights to report to my friend and sometimes she went on a trip with her boy friends for days. My friend got really furious about the whole business, because 1) the pastor of her church was having premarital relationship with this girl, 2) this girl was corrupting the pastor through the premarital relationship.

She had a hard time sticking with the promise she made to the pastor that she would keep everything secret; she told this to me and to her friend who also goes to the same church. Her church friend equally got mad at the whole affair and eventually everyone in the church got to know this and kicked this pastor out of the church.

My friend still didn't understand how this well-educated girl (the pastor's girl friend was doing her MA in Korea) was doing such a dirty thing. I came this much close to pointing it out to her that she moved in with her husband before their marriage.

Disclaimer: Other than that, my friend is a really nice girl.

[Coffeecup]

Thanks for the replies, especially those that explained a little extra.

Will try to make some responses and then make own comments after that.

Trinny, nice story, good read, although I got a little mixed up on who exactly was who but now it's clear.

[The Man known as The Man]

[Corporal]

Or is it the Man known as Gord?

[Gwangjuboy]

Gord, according to your own trumped-up morals the Korean family should accomodate coffee cup's culture considering this took place in the States. Are you suggesting that Koreans living in the US can impose their own cultural norms upon Americans, and be absolved of the responsibilty of abiding by local customs? Borrowing is considered helpful in the West is it not? Sex before marriage is also considered normal in the West is it not? If you seriously believe that Coffee Cup should adhere to Korean norms in his own country I think you are misguided. By the same token, if I posted a new topic complaining about having to take my shoes off indoors, sitting when eating, and bowing, I am sure you would be amoungst the posters that call me a failure back home, inflexible, and bigoted.

[bucheon bum]