|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
|
 Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: Interesting article: Korean kids beating their mothers |
 |
|
I'm not sure I agree with all of it, but it is interesting nonetheless.:
http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200611/200611230012.html
| Quote: |
When Children Abuse Their Mothers
Forget child abuse: more and more Korean children abuse their own mothers, swearing at, hitting and kicking them. Most are boys, from preschoolers to those in fifth and sixth grades in elementary school and junior high school students. Anything can set them off, from being ordered to stop playing computer games to being told to eat. The language they use is foul, including threats to kill their mother, and some spit and even beat their mothers black and blue. Throwing books or CDs is commonplace. Yonsei University�s Severance Hospital finds that one-third of its 1,060 patients in child and adolescent psychiatry over the last two months were admitted for violence against their mother. Even two or three years ago, this was unheard of.
Samsung Medical Center�s child psychology unit in Seoul saw 585 of 1,010 patients over the last two months for behavioral disorders and emotional disturbance. The major reason for admission was extreme defiance of their mothers and behavioral problems. Lee, who has a son in junior high school, came here after she was beaten by her son to the point where she got bruises on her face. Introvert and rarely expressing his feelings verbally, the son vented his suppressed anger at his mother whenever he was bullied by friends at school, who often took things away from him. It has been almost a year since her son started behaving that way, but the last straw came when he hit his mother in the face for refusing to buy him a CD player. The boy was hospitalized for a month and the mother, whose self-esteem was completely crushed, also had to get treatment.
At a children's counseling center in Gangnam, Seoul, Min-su (not his real name) a second-grader, is being treated. He talks to himself: "What's this?", "Shut your mouth!" and hits a doll hard. He throws things at his mother and kicks and bites her when she does not take care of him when he wakes up in the morning. His violent behavior started causing problems at school as well.
Why do these children turn on their mothers? Experts say the phenomenon is uniquely Korean. Shin Yee-jin, a psychiatrist at Yonsei University, said, "Abroad, teenagers engage in violence and problematic behavior mostly outside their home, but here in Korea, they do so at home and particularly against their mother. We are considering whether to classify such behavior as separate from ordinary teenage delinquency and violence.� Ahn Dong-hyun, a professor of psychiatry at Hanyang University, says mothers believe they are doing their best to take care of and support their children, but children respond �Am I your doll?� or �You do this just because you want to; I never asked you.� �It is because they suffer a defiance disorder and need to be treated appropriately,� he adds.
Mothers are the victims but also the cause. What is common to children who use violence against their mothers is excessive intervention by the mother in the life of their children. "Children who beat their mother in most cases come from families where the relationship between mother and father is closed,� psychiatrist Park Jin-saeng said. "When the father is the sole breadwinner and the mother is completely in charge of taking care of and educating the child, the mother often tends to control her child's everyday affairs, starting from study to friends and even the color of socks he or she wears.�
Korean society is not ready to address the problem. Mothers are ashamed to make their suffering public. Often they don't even tell their husband about it. Jo Hye-jung, a professor of sociology at Yonsei University, said, "There are children who use violence against their own mother in a normal middle class families, but such cases are not made public to save face and avoid problems with their child's education.� There are no statistics to show how often such cases occur. Thirteen counseling centers under the Seoul City educational authority have received 66,516 cases between the beginning of this year and October, and 24,573 of those were about family, violence and personality problems. A considerable number of them concerned violence against family members. |
If this is true, maybe some mothers need to take a step back. Too much micor-management leads people to tend to burst out. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
jaganath69
Joined: 17 Jul 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 2:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Stop pampering the little $hits, take the xbox away, and give them a swift clip over the back of the ear if they even look like contemplating this nonsense. Honestly, I'd have been brained senseless by my mum if I attempted something like this as a child. Then my old man would have taken his turn. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 3:34 pm Post subject: Re: Interesting article: Korean kids beating their mothers |
|
|
| Captain Corea wrote: |
| "Children who beat their mother in most cases come from families where the relationship between mother and father is closed," psychiatrist Park Jin-saeng said. "When the father is the sole breadwinner and the mother is completely in charge of taking care of and educating the child, the mother often tends to control her child's everyday affairs, starting from study to friends and even the color of socks he or she wears." |
Okay, I understand the controlling, pampering, overprotective mother bit, but what does it mean by "where the relationship b/n mother and father is closed"?
The father is the breadwinner, the mother is in charge of the kids. That's "closed"? That's suddenly a factor behind Korean boys punching their mothers? Sounds like the norm for 90% of the world to me, and certainly not a new phenomenon in Korea either. Again, what does "closed" mean here? I would guess my own parents and those of my friends had relationships every bit as "closed" as the one described. I don't think it ever occurred to any of us to take a swing at Mum, though.  Then again, we didn't have all these cool things like CDs or xboxes. Or shoes that matched. Or clothes that fit properly. Or regular haircuts.
But I have to say, this was reassuring:
| Quote: |
| Experts say the phenomenon is uniquely Korean. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
riley
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
Location: where creditors can find me
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 3:40 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Found out last year that one of the bigger 6th grade boys had punched his teacher and also his mom during his school year. It was too late for me to do anything, but considering he was also a bad student, I had an easier time making him run the stairs as punishment. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 4:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Parents all over the world just let their kids rule them. hey, who's the boss...the parents or the kids people????? I see idiots just sitting and smiling at their kids when they do mean things. I knew a married couple who would sit up past midnight waiting on their 4 year old to DECIDE when SHE was ready for bed. WHAT????????????? The parents, not the kids should decide when bedtime is. Spanking a kid is NOT abuse. I hear of kids in the US who threaten to run to DFACS if mommy won't let them have their way. I'd say, go right ahead to DFACS. You'll be ready to come home after a few months in the state system. People...make your kids behave!!!! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Compunction Junction
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
Okay, I understand the controlling, pampering, overprotective mother bit, but what does it mean by "where the relationship b/n mother and father is closed"?
|
I think by "closed" they are referring to communication channels. WTF that has to do with pops winning bread I don't know.
A friend of mine (really not me) teaches a private where he says this sorta thing habitually happens. In her presence it's just yelling abusive sheet, but the boy has said that he has hit is mom.
If my kid hit my wife, I could possibly lose my mind. Wow...I'd be mad. I doubt i'd hit him/her but hell would rain down upon him/her in some form.
How effed up is a family if a child can GET AWAY WITH IT???!!! If it happens, that's just crazy...but that there are no reprocussions? Forget it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
When I was young, my parents let me do pretty much whatever I wanted. My friends were always so jealous of me. Thing was, I was so worried about losing that, that I never did bad things and I always went to be at a decent time. When I think back, I think they tricked me. If I had hit my mom though, it would have been game over. My dad, an who I had seen fight way too many times and also a detective, would have kicked my ass.
Anyways, Jongnoguru, I think by 'closed' relationship, I think they are talking about parents not communicating with each other and basically the mom does everything with the family. I could be wrong, but that is what I first though from that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
EFLtrainer
Joined: 04 May 2005
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 5:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| princess wrote: |
| Parents all over the world just let their kids rule them. hey, who's the boss...the parents or the kids people????? I see idiots just sitting and smiling at their kids when they do mean things. I knew a married couple who would sit up past midnight waiting on their 4 year old to DECIDE when SHE was ready for bed. WHAT????????????? The parents, not the kids should decide when bedtime is. Spanking a kid is NOT abuse. I hear of kids in the US who threaten to run to DFACS if mommy won't let them have their way. I'd say, go right ahead to DFACS. You'll be ready to come home after a few months in the state system. People...make your kids behave!!!! |
You are completely ignoring the affects of overbearing, intrusive, controlling parenting. Or do you believe all parenting is equal and parents simply can't be wrong? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
Teenagers naturally want to do their own thing and become independent. Korean society is one of the few to actually smother this strong natural instinct. Kids are expected to obey parents wishes and demands on their lives..forever, basically. Every species of living thing on earth raises its young to become independent. Virtually every culture of people does the same. Except korea:people simply aren't allowed to become independent here; find their own way, make mistakes, find their own identities, folow their own paths etc.....its all about co-dependence and sacrificing your life fore your family's master plan..
Add in the controlling nature of confucian society..and its no surprise teenagers are totally frustrated. Doesn't excuse hitting your own mother of course..but once again..oldest son has higher status than his own mother apparently..so not a surprise really. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Yesterday
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Land of the Morning DongChim (Kancho)
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 4:41 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Julius wrote: |
| Teenagers naturally want to do their own thing ......... |
not exactly just talking about teenagers here -
the post said "from preschoolers to those in fifth and sixth grades" (4-12 years old (kindergarten / elementary etc children).
I watch on a daily basis at many schools - small children as young as 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10, years old - running around inside schools - kicking walls,
jumping on and off desks, destroying posters, just - destroying everything in a mad, crazy frenzy...
when I tell the korean teachers / mothers to do something about it ... they always give the same replyy....
"Oh no... they are just children.. they have to act wild... because they are just children... we don't want to treat them like soldiers etc etc etc..."
they ( korean teachers / mothers ) have brought the problems upon themselves.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Wrench
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 5:18 am Post subject: |
|
|
Serves them right. Fuking retarted parents deserve to be beaten, the kids here are spoiled rotten and the parents are oblivious to the damages that they are causing their child. I know what child abuse is I experienced first hand, Child abuse can take on many forms anything from Verbal/physical abuse to Mental/Social abuse. Koreans have to realize what they are doing its not gone happen until some sexually/mentaly/socially frustrated teen beats his/her parents to death. The sooner this happens the better.
I know I sound like I am a bit going overboard but when drastic measures are needed, drastic solutions have to be implemented. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
