Korean Job Discussion Forums

[madprops]

Hello!

This is my first post and it is quite urgent, though it won't necessarily change much (if that makes sense). I'm just curious. My boyfriend is moving to Korea to live with me (we are a gay couple) and so we'd be living together, close to the public school I'm teaching at. What should I be careful with? How is homosexuality perceived in Korea? I am living in a smaller city, outside of Seoul. Please, if you've had experiences or if you know of any stories concerning gay couples, respond. I've read things about male friends holding hands and other signs of friendly affection. I don't think that kissing him in public would be wise. Am I correct?

I tried searching for this info, but couldn't find anything.

[flotsam]

Has it been six days already?

(On the very, very off-chance this is a sincerepost, deal with my cynicism, cause you ain't seen nothin' yet.)

[Zoobot]

I'm gay and teaching in Korea... I'm in the south. Masan, near Busan. I've been to the gay area in Busan, and it is really wonderful. I went to a bar called Someone, and the bartender spoke English well and was very charming and elegant.

There is a gay area in Seoul, but I've never been there so I don't know where it is. Men are very affectionate with each other here, so be careful not to misread signals from Korean men. Just because they put their hand on your thigh does not mean they want to jump your bones.

In some ways, being gay here is great, because no one really thinks twice about you holding hands, because it is such a normal cultural thing here. I don't know about kissing... I tend to not do that in public anywhere though...

I hope that helps.

[twg]

Most public displays are frowned upon and can get you grief from the older folks even if you're straight and Korean. So keep the snogging for home... or the gay bars if you're determined to do it in public. And Korean men do hold hands, but they know foreigners only do it if they're gay. You wont be fooling anyone if that's the question.

Your orientation isn't your employer's business, but they are paying for your rent (I assume) so they may have problems with you sharing your living space.

My current hagwon had an openly gay man on staff for two years. It's wasn't an issue, but he also didn't make a deal of it either.

[poet13]

I don't know what the gay scene is in korea, not being gay, but I have had adult class discussion about homosexuality. Many koreans will say that there is "no gay problem" in korea, and that there are no gay koreans. This is an incredibly homo-phobic culture. All that is just to say, have fun, but probably not best to advertise your relationship as your employer might use anything else as an excuse to UN-employ you.
Welcome to Korea.
Psst....by the way, there's LOTS of gay Koreans....lol.

[Zoobot]

I think it is a little simplistic to say "Korea is a very homo-phobic culture."
Perhaps this is what you want to think, but I think the truth is a little more complex. Korea is also a very homo-erotic (as opposed to homosexual) culture, and while many Koreans might not admit to the existence of the "homosexual lifestyle" you still see them checking out each other in the baths. lol.

And I've walked down the street arm and arm with my boyfriend, and I don't recall getting any dirty looks or any kind of scorn, so if they know we're gay, they didn't seem to mind that much.

In Busan, public displays of affection between men and women seem fairly common and normal. Who knows what people think, though... It still puzzles me.

[madprops]

Thank you for your wonderful and insightful responses! My boyfriend and I are quite affectionate, however, we've ran into problems even in Amsterdam, so we are prepared, I think. As far as accomodation, I was worried about the same thing, but have since found out that who I choose to house in my apartment is not a problem, so long as it is done in a respectful way. And of course, they won't provide me with any additional luxuries like a larger bed or a larger living space. I get what I get for a single person, no exceptions. My greatest worry is that my students will find out and will make a huge deal of it. I don't want to hide my sexuality or go along with the idea that it is taboo, but at the same time I would prefer to keep my job.

[Satori]

[madprops]

Well, how about two males sharing an apartment together? Basically, lets assume we won't show public displays of affection, but still, we'll be living together, going shopping together, and spending time. I'm assuming it won't be considered a 'gay' thing, considering we could just as well be flatmates or bestfriends, which is what we are, anyway.

[Satori]

Should be all fine and dandy. Except that if people know you have a one room apartment, and cotton on that there are two guys living there, there might be talk. Depends on if that bothers you. Is your partner coming over to get a job too? If so, he could get his own place, free with the job, and then you'll solve the problem and have two different places to crash. Fun for the all the family!

[polonius]

At one time I had 4 gay men on staff. One felt that he was treated differently from the management, the others got along quite fine. I think the one just didn't get along because of other reasons. There is a gay area in Seoul, in Itaewon. It is the hill next to hooker hill. Once in Itaewon just ask where the hill is, and there won't be a problem finding it. Because it is an open society, many Korean men won't admit that they are. But that is changing slightly, because some popular Koreans are known to be gay. Can't remember his name, but some big fashion guru is on that list. I am sure you will have a great time here, if in Seoul. Smaller cities might not be as welcome to the idea. Just don't publisize it, and no one will know the difference.

[madprops]

[Joe Bradley]

Korean society isn't nearly as homophobic as it's been painted. I lived with my Korean partner for five years in Busan (we're currently in NZ) and never had any problems. He's out to his family (and they approve of our relationship). What's more, we worked together and the school management knew we were living together - me, an unmarried man in his 40s and my boyfriend in his 30s - and we never sensed any kind of discrimination. Many of the Korean staff there knew we were gay, too. In fact, the only homophobic comments that were made about us came from a couple of Canadians!

Did you know that there's a new Korean movie just out (written & directed by an openly gay Korean named Leesong Hee-il) about a gay relationship? Its English title is No Regrets, and apparently it was one of the most popular films at the latest Busan film festival. It's only out on limited release, but already it's done remarkably good business. You can read all about it here:

http://www.koreanfilm.org/kfilm06.html

Just scroll down to the bottom of the page.

And here's the official trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKWvgYNWiwE

This has been quite a year for gay-themed Korean movies. Earlier this year, the excellent King and the Clown (aka A King's Man) was the most popular domestic film ever (until overtaken by The Host) - and it was essentially about two gay street performers in the Josun Dynasty period, and the obsession felt for one of them by a gay king. Check it out on DVD if you get the chance.

Best
Joe

[hellofaniceguy]

I think that most people, over time, be they koreans or not, would view two males who are living together, sharing a one bedroom place, as being gay.
People love to talk and make wild rumors....
as for students....I am sure they would also mention to their parents over time....hey omma...oppa.....teacher so and so is gay....he's never with a female, etc...
Most I am sure would just look the other way unless that person was also molesting children.

[Satori]