Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Yo!Chingo]

I'm writing this to vent. Please excuse me...

I have a very close friend with an American coworker who is as sweet as sugar. She's all smiles and compliments and soooo sweet to your face, but she has an unfortunate habit of lying. Straight out lying to you about things. I asked her to come to dinner with myself and some others tonight. Absolutely she's coming. I get an email before the dinner saying that she can't come b/c of work. "Oh" I say...."O.K" My friend then emails me saying that she's not working, but got other plans. GRRRRR!!!!

I caught her in another lie fairly recently too! People like this just make me sick to my stomach. I'm not mad. I'd actually have to really give a crap about this person to really get mad. What I'm irritated about is the fact that she feels that she has to lie to me. It makes me question everything she says and does.

Do you know anyone like that? Thanks for reading....I'm finished with the whole thing now. FEEL MUCH BETTER!!!

[kermo]

I sure don't appreciate it when people lie to me, and I never skever bever do it, even when I'm in an awkward situation.

However, people who tell "white lies" or even slimy "I-didn't-do-it" kind of lies are in a different category than compulsive liars, who lie to make themselves look more interesting, or to add drama to their lives.

Nevertheless, I try not to be around people who tell lies of convenience, because I've found that they don't trust me, even when I'm telling the truth.

[wonkychair]

We all lie!

Is it wrong? Yes

But we all do it.

[RACETRAITOR]

I had a friend in high school who used to lie all the time. One time he told me he's capable of astral projection, and when he sleeps he commonly goes to the Andromeda Galaxy, which is where people go to have sex in their astral form. I certainly didn't call bullshit on him, but I made sure never to be trapped alone with him again.

[Ya-ta Boy]

[jajdude]

I've known 2 or 3 pathological liars. They were so used to lying that they would believe what they said, and there was no way to tell for sure if they were telling the truth or not sometimes. After a while you realize there are just too many fantastic stories, too many experiences that virtually no one could have had all put together in one lifetime even, let alone the average person telling all these things to you. I don't get it, really. You know the person is just living a normal, somewhat boring life, but still he will tell you incredible things regarding his past, his family, whatever. I'm not sure where this comes from. Some people cannot just be real, it must be too embarrassing. We get a lot of nonsense on this board and on the internet in general for that reason: people just make up crap, or act a certain way, need a persona to hide behind. I find it weird since it makes no sense to me. They must be bored with themselves and their small lives to pose as something larger than they really are.

Still I find most of the lies harmless and easy enough to play along with. Why not let the person have his fun? It's like a kid pretending he's Superman. It's not good to live in an imaginary world, but maybe it helps one psychologically to not have to face humdrum reality all the time.

[nautilus]

[jajdude]

Good post clandestine. I like the vested interest category. That makes a lot of sense to me. In fact, that seems to be the main, if not sole reason to lie, doesn't it? Why lie unless it serves your own interests? Well, except maybe pathological liars who do it even when there seems to be no reason. Or the reason is still self-serving, to make oneself appear more interesting than one really is.

If you gain benefits from lying, you can even believe in the lies yourself. This makes me think of recruiters. They'll tell you how great a job is, how the pay is not bad because it's in the sticks where it's so much cheaper and so, just a load of BS because hey, it helps them make money to lie. Politicians also cannot be truly honest, can they? They won't get or keep their jobs if they are. Lawyers? Same deal. Bend a story in your favor to save your own ass. Sometimes that is necessary just to keep your job.

White lies are fine. Spare someone's feelings and hurt no one, that's cool. We all do that sometimes. We all embellish boring stories by making the details sound a little better. These are generally harmless types of lying.

The harm comes from putting ME first and the hell with you. I want the benefit, the money, the job, so I will tell you anything that sounds good, hopefully plausible though not true, and hope you buy it.

[cbclark4]

The therapy must have worked.

cbc

[kermo]

[mnhnhyouh]

I think there is a crossover between vested interest liars and the overextrapolators. The overextrapolators are often attempting to cause the listener to have a better opinion of them than they think they deserve, so they have a vested interest


*hmmm, I dont think I have ever put so many words starting with "th" in a row before them than they think they

h

[Yo!Chingo]

Ok, so after reading the responses it seems to me that the intentions of her lies are to protect feelings. I can sympathize but I'm an adult. Please just tell me the truth.
When I wrote the post I said I wasn't peeved, but I guess looking back at it I was. I HATE EMOTIONS!!!
Why can't I be like my avatar and have Mr. Spock's lack of them!!!