Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Newbie]

I'll be a good, hard working, helpful daddy, but something just freaked me out.

The mrs. said that Korean women are usually out of commission for up to a month after giving birth! Nothing. No cooking, no cleaning, nadda. Isn't a month a bit excessive? She even said that they have special hospitals to take care of mom and babe for a full month. We watched a program on the telly last night about a new mom. When pappa was around she seemed quite sick and out of it. But when granny came to cook for her, she seemed quite energetic and comfortable. Are they really that bad off, or are they just milking it?

From what I remember of my sisters-in-law back home, it was about a week that they were on their back and then, not fully back to normal, but at least plopping about and helping out.

Yes, I know she will go through hell to push Junior out and I will do whatever she asks, but really a month?

[midian3x]

That woman is so lucky to have a guy like you.

[Newbie]

You have NO idea

[SPINOZA]

Congrats on having a sprog on the way, Newbie. It's great. But maybe you can do a bit of cooking and cleaning yourself and help your mrs out? Giving birth looks like it really sucks. The end result - a child - is awesome, but the actual giving birth bit is pretty hard on the female.

Reproducing is something special. You should go out of your way to help and not moan.

I'd work 16 hour shifts down a pit every day for my wife and kid.

[EFLtrainer]

The above posters have missed the point: yes, Koreans have all kinds of social norms that actually hinder healthy childbirth. Some, naturally, do help. In a culture where the sliughtest cold requires an innoculation, are you suprised that they should do nothing for a month after childbirth?

Sitting on your arse for a month is good for virtually no one in virtually any situation. Why should one after childbirth? Its foolish and unhealthy to do so. Strength is rebuilt by action, not inacation.

Another is the incidence of ceasarian (sp?) sections. Research shows clearly that natural birthing helps to jump start an infants immune response, for example. Unnecessary C-sections are NOT good for the baby nor for the mother.

etc.

[Newbie]

Thanks.

And trust me, I'll work my arse off without complaining. I'm just wondering if Korean women are a bit softer than Western women in this area. Just checking here to see other's experiences and looking to get the straight up goods.

Really, everybody, I'm not complaining. Just wondering what the deal is.

[bellum99]

They do go to the special hospital and it is very expensive. It is almost one month and they take care of the baby there so you visit them and sleep on the floor. After she comes home she will be slow as hell getting in the routine of taking care of the baby and she will let everything else fall to hell.
Don't expect much for a few months....

[RACETRAITOR]

Doesn't the wife usually go to stay with her mother?

[jmbran11]

Several of my (adult) students have had wives who gave birth during the program, so I've had them explain it to me.

Yes, Korean women go to a special place, in English we call it a "New Mother Center." They are expected to rest for three of four weeks because they are so weak from childbirth. If they have other children, they should go to relatives to stay because the mother cannot care for them. She also has lot of rules to follow, because she is so weak. For instance, she should not shower. She should not drink anything cold. I have asked several times for the medical reasoning for these, and it's something about becoming cold and hormonal imbalance.

I told my students that in the U.S. new mothers aren't given this special treatment. One student asked me "how are they capable or caring for their children?" I didn't have an answer.

I've tried to determine if this is cultural or genetic. I've been told several times my students (men and women) that Korean women are weaker than women from the U.S. I happen to be a woman from the U.S. and, from what I've seen of Korean women, this is hard to believe. However, my students said it's something about the bones.

Hope this helps clear up the mystery. In short, what she said is true. My question is - if you are married to a Korean woman, how could you not already know this?

[xtchr]

[quote="Newbie"]The mrs. said that Korean women are usually out of commission for up to a month after giving birth! Nothing. No cooking, no cleaning, nadda. Isn't a month a bit excessive? She even said that they have special hospitals to take care of mom and babe for a full month. We watched a program on the telly last night about a new mom. When pappa was around she seemed quite sick and out of it. But when granny came to cook for her, she seemed quite energetic and comfortable. Are they really that bad off, or are they just milking it?
/quote]

Yes, I would imagine that in most cases they are just milking it. Why? Because they can. If they didn't have granny doing everything for them, then the new mothers would have to do it themselves.

[RokofKangnam]

Back in the day they used to come in from the fields to have the baby, have a bowl of seaweed soup and then get back out in the fields. This generation is way too soft.

[Natalia]

You're lucky she said only a month.

In India mum and baby take off back to her parents' house for three months and dad can only drop by occasionally for a visit.....


The weakness thing is partly true. Why? Because Korean women milk the princess stereotype for all it's worth. They won't even lift their own pen if there's a man around to do it for them. (Miniscule handbags that are just 'oh so heavy', for example ).

[poet13]

I'm with SPIN on this.... just add more hours and make pit deeper. Add noxious gases.

There was hell to pay around my house for the employees if I caught my wife working after she had our son, but we went out every day for walks and did exercises together. Picture me, old fat guy, her, 5' and 80 lbs, doing prone leg raises to a jane fonda dvd. NOT a pretty sight. Ah, she had a c-section. Necessary. Both of them were getting into real trouble after almost 24 hours of labor. His head was just too big. SHe made us a beautiful perfect little boy. If she wanted to take the rest of her life off, I would support that.....except now I want her to make a whole bunch more of them....lol...

[crazylemongirl]

After squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon I'd need some rest too!

Newbie, a lot of it has to do with Korea's recent past. Up until very recently Korea had a very high infant mortality rate, so they really do seem to go overboard to us.

At the end of a day your wife is a pregnant women carrying your baby. A true gentleman like yourself knows that in the end you got the better end of the deal on the whole having a baby thing so the best thing to do is sit back and take orders.

Happy trails.

[Tiberious aka Sparkles]