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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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Seoul_Star

Joined: 04 May 2007
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 8:37 am Post subject: |
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| I can only see this being a big deal because Korean people so often ask your age. The looks on their faces after you tell them that you are 34 and your boyfriend is 26 may get old after a while. Maybe your friend should relegate him to boytoy status instead of boyfriend, that would be easier to deal with. Really, it's only going to bother you if you let it. When I was living in Japan, I once "dated" a 40 year old woman (I was 22 at the time). She probably looked like she was in her mid 30's. She was young at heart. She had an 11 year old son. She demanded that I service her frequently. She often baked cookies for my roommates and I the following morning. Oh Japan, I miss you so, you never did me wrong! |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 9:23 am Post subject: |
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| Just tell him you're 34! |
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TheBrain

Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Location: Acme Lab
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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How can anyone know your ages just by looking at you? Get over yourself. "the paranoids are out to get me"  |
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TheBrain

Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Location: Acme Lab
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| She demanded that I service her frequently. |
cable? phone? internet? What kind of service did you provide?  |
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EFLtrainer

Joined: 04 May 2005
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Hope this wasn't covered, but on the practical side, you're less likely to spend as many years alone at the end of the marriage, assuming.... lots of things. |
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 7:10 am Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
Adventurer, I am not saying that this is you, so don't be defensive, but in general with western men dating Korean women...
I've noticed a tendency to think that Korean women are mature when often what they're seeing is a woman who was -never- a Hello Kitty type who is in control of herself. It doesn't mean she's mature, it just means she has self respect. In terms of how advanced her thinking is, her understanding of others, compassion, ability to cope with the new/weird/stressful... it may be almost nothing. But from the outside she seems "mature" because she doesn't get plastered and kiss all the boys and wear short-shorts just to get noticed and giggle all the time. |
The above wouldn't apply to me, because I haven't really gone out of my way to date a Korean woman. There are too many unknowns for me.
I am very hesitant when dating people from a culture who have excessive nationalism, conformity, rigid views on what is acceptable, families who often reject foreigners etc.... I would definitely take the plunge if I am here for much longer, learn the language better, know better what kind of Korean girl to choose. Warren Buffett the investor believes in investing in what he knows and understands. I think I better know Western women for whatever that is worth than Korean women, so I would rather invest my passions there. That may seem strange to some of the guys on the board. I don't know.
I think a woman who is Korean who is not acting like a programmed barbie girl, valley girl type, giggling all the time, following celebrities is someone to look at. I would want a girl with a brain, who can communicate very well and in depth at least in her language, so we can eventually have a real stimulating connection. I don't really go for the types who feel they must act like soft princesses. That strikes me as being high maintenance, and my life is too short to deal with princesses or people who whine. It's not my style. I want an equal, basically. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas

Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Location: Austin,Texas
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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I've dated both older and younger guys. I don't like them too old now. I really want them to be around the 4 yr range. Younger or older. If the age gap is more than that, they'd have to be really amazing as a person. I dated a lot of young guys this and last year for the first time in my life. They were all 2-5 years younger than me.
I used to exclusively go out with guys who were at least a year older than me. But that got boring, and age is sorta just a number anyways. I dated one guy who was 42 when I was 22. I just wanted to try for the experience. He had very good job, lived in a rich neighborhood, and was cute. It felt so gross, after the first kiss, I had to end it. I told him it felt like I was kissing my dad's friend and it felt like incest.
I prefer 2 years younger or 2 years older than me range, if I wanted to be picky. I think I prefer younger men, because they are usually in better physical shape than the older ones, and more fun to be around. My last serious relationship was with a white jewish guy, and we were together 3 yrs, but he was 6 years older than me. He put on 30 lbs during those years, started balding... I also think the big age gap might have been a problem with our case at least.
When I was finally single and free, it was nice to date early 20's mid 20's guys after him, and their bodies were wow, "YOUNG, MUSCULAR, HEALTHY, NON-PREGNANCY, NO MAN BREAST" look. So happy to enjoy that after all that time. And my ex got very boring. He was very conceited. I didn't like how he had to show off that he went to Baylor, was president of the honor society, and graduated at the top 5% of his class.
Every time we went out, he would talk like that. Even one time when he got in trouble with the law. I told him I don't think that the cops would care about him graduating at the top of his class at his good school, when he was wrong. That's not going to change their mind, but he thought that fact could get him out of trouble somehow. And when he got into grad school, he was telling everyone that he got into a semi prestigious university for his grad school. Something about the way he said that, it was so arrogant.
We always had to talk about boring things. For example, after watching a movie, I felt like I was in a movie critique class. He expected to talk about it in detail and all kinds of weird ways. I felt that he was trying too hard being sophisticated, that he was not being himself. I liked that younger guys can be funny, and have a sense of humor, and not have to be serious all the time. They were actually stress relievers than stress givers.
Anyways, I would never rule out dating someone just because of their age. The big thing is how they carry themselves, and what age they act. One time I dated a soldier and he was 22, but all his friends were in their late 20's and 30's. And he acted like a 30 year old. I was just going to be friends with him, because 27 and 22 doesn't sound right. Especially when most guys like their women young anyway. And he reminded me it's not the age, but how a person acts individually doesn't always match up with their actual age. |
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 3:33 am Post subject: |
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| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
I've dated both older and younger guys. I don't like them too old now. I really want them to be around the 4 yr range. Younger or older. If the age gap is more than that, they'd have to be really amazing as a person. I dated a lot of young guys this and last year for the first time in my life. They were all 2-5 years younger than me.
I used to exclusively go out with guys who were at least a year older than me. But that got boring, and age is sorta just a number anyways. I dated one guy who was 42 when I was 22. I just wanted to try for the experience. He had very good job, lived in a rich neighborhood, and was cute. It felt so gross, after the first kiss, I had to end it. I told him it felt like I was kissing my dad's friend and it felt like incest.
I prefer 2 years younger or 2 years older than me range, if I wanted to be picky. I think I prefer younger men, because they are usually in better physical shape than the older ones, and more fun to be around. My last serious relationship was with a white jewish guy, and we were together 3 yrs, but he was 6 years older than me. He put on 30 lbs during those years, started balding... I also think the big age gap might have been a problem with our case at least.
When I was finally single and free, it was nice to date early 20's mid 20's guys after him, and their bodies were wow, "YOUNG, MUSCULAR, HEALTHY, NON-PREGNANCY, NO MAN BREAST" look. So happy to enjoy that after all that time. And my ex got very boring. He was very conceited. I didn't like how he had to show off that he went to Baylor, was president of the honor society, and graduated at the top 5% of his class.
Every time we went out, he would talk like that. Even one time when he got in trouble with the law. I told him I don't think that the cops would care about him graduating at the top of his class at his good school, when he was wrong. That's not going to change their mind, but he thought that fact could get him out of trouble somehow. And when he got into grad school, he was telling everyone that he got into a semi prestigious university for his grad school. Something about the way he said that, it was so arrogant.
We always had to talk about boring things. For example, after watching a movie, I felt like I was in a movie critique class. He expected to talk about it in detail and all kinds of weird ways. I felt that he was trying too hard being sophisticated, that he was not being himself. I liked that younger guys can be funny, and have a sense of humor, and not have to be serious all the time. They were actually stress relievers than stress givers.
Anyways, I would never rule out dating someone just because of their age. The big thing is how they carry themselves, and what age they act. One time I dated a soldier and he was 22, but all his friends were in their late 20's and 30's. And he acted like a 30 year old. I was just going to be friends with him, because 27 and 22 doesn't sound right. Especially when most guys like their women young anyway. And he reminded me it's not the age, but how a person acts individually doesn't always match up with their actual age. |
I don't think it had to do with the age of the guy you dated. It was simply the guy you chose as boyfriend. There are extremely boring people from any age. He just seemed to have problems. I think two people go well together depending more on their minds, personalities etc.... Some women won't date men their age, because they're too unstable, and many people who are very young are not sure what they want when it comes to relationships. A 27 year old is more likely to know what he wants from a woman than a 20 year old. But, in the end, they've got to match when it comes to coupling. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas

Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Location: Austin,Texas
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Adventurer"]
| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
I don't think it had to do with the age of the guy you dated. It was simply the guy you chose as boyfriend. There are extremely boring people from any age. He just seemed to have problems. I think two people go well together depending more on their minds, personalities etc.... Some women won't date men their age, because they're too unstable, and many people who are very young are not sure what they want when it comes to relationships. A 27 year old is more likely to know what he wants from a woman than a 20 year old. But, in the end, they've got to match when it comes to coupling. |
Yea, I guess when it really comes down to it, it's the person as an individual rather than age itself. Maybe, I was going through the younger guy phase, because I used to never ever associate them. I got curious too. But I do realize that the young ones who hang out with an older crowd always seems more mature than the typical guy his age. |
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contrarian
Joined: 20 Jan 2007 Location: Nearly in NK
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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I was barely) 30 when I married, my wife was 21. She always claimed to have raised 5 children, our four and me. 35 damned good years. She died a couple of years back.
Now some friends are trying to line me up with a woman 27 years younger than me. I don't think I could handle the strain. (When my wife turned 40, I said as a joke that I should trade her for two 20's. She informed me I was not wired for 220.
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| contrarian wrote: |
I was barely) 30 when I married, my wife was 21. She always claimed to have raised 5 children, our four and me. 35 damned good years. She died a couple of years back.
Now some friends are trying to line me up with a woman 27 years younger than me. I don't think I could handle the strain. (When my wife turned 40, I said as a joke that I should trade her for two 20's. She informed me I was not wired for 220.
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I am very sorry about your wife. You are so lucky to have had such a great, humourous wife who seems to have loved you so much. Would the woman who is much older than you be open to dating you? I am not sure how it would be like if someone were say 58 and dating someone who was 31. If the woman is willing and the man, too, then they have to play it by ear.
The age thing depends on the gap, the chemistry, and what people are looking for at that stage in their lives. If a 25 year old woman is looking to get married, she might have a better chance with a guy who is 32 then with someone who is 25. If she doesn't want something not so serious, then she is more likely to have that with a guy who is younger. They aren't generalizations, but rather that certain behaviours increase among certain age groups, but a guy can be immature or closed-minded at any age or whatever... |
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contrarian
Joined: 20 Jan 2007 Location: Nearly in NK
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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Yea, I got lucky. She died of the lang term effects of type I diabetes and Rheumatod arthritis. On our 30th anniversary and four babies later she could still wear her wedding dress.
The woman my friends are trying to line me up with is a young 42, I'm 67. As I said I don't think I could handle it.
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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| contrarian wrote: |
Yea, I got lucky. She died of the lang term effects of type I diabetes and Rheumatod arthritis. On our 30th anniversary and four babies later she could still wear her wedding dress.
The woman my friends are trying to line me up with is a young 42, I'm 67. As I said I don't think I could handle it.
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Consider this, man, if the woman is willing you might make a lonely woman happy:) Just meet the woman at least. There is nothing to lose, friend:) Just meet the person. You don't have to do anything:) |
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contrarian
Joined: 20 Jan 2007 Location: Nearly in NK
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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As I am strictly religious I could do nothing without marriage. I wonder how my kids (oldest aged 36 would like a 52 year old stepmother).
Life gets complicated.
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