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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:20 pm Post subject: I thought this story was cute |
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An old Italian man lived alone in the country.
He wanted to dig his tomato garden,
but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
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Dear Vincent:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able
to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
If you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad
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A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden.
That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie
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At 4 a.m. the next morning,
FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
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That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie |
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tzechuk

Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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LOL.. clever. |
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joe_doufu

Joined: 09 May 2005 Location: Elsewhere
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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Does the FBI look for bodies in Italy? |
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Swiss James

Joined: 26 Nov 2003 Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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joe_doufu wrote: |
Does the FBI look for bodies in Italy? |
I f**ing hope not |
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sparkx
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: thekimchipot.com
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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Any man that uses "cute" to describe something should be buried in a tomato garden |
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numazawa

Joined: 20 Mar 2005 Location: The Concrete Barnyard
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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sparkx wrote: |
Any man that uses "cute" to describe something should be buried in a tomato garden |
I used it to describe a real class hooker one time. My bad. |
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desultude

Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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sparkx wrote: |
Any man that uses "cute" to describe something should be buried in a tomato garden |
When my 6'2" well muscled father said "cute", it was dripping in angry sarcasm, and I ran like hell.  |
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Free World

Joined: 01 Apr 2005 Location: Drake Hotel
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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joe_doufu wrote: |
Does the FBI look for bodies in Italy? |
There are old Italian men that live in America. I suspect that is the circumstance for this cute story. |
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Grotto

Joined: 21 Mar 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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A teacher asks her students to get their parents to tell them a story that involves a moral.
The next day she asks for volunteers and one boy stands up and says he has a story with a moral.
My Aunt Sally was a pilot in the gulf war and was on a mission when her jet got shot down. The only things she had on her when she ejected from her fighter was her pistol, a survival knife and a bottle of Jack Daniels. While she was floating to the ground she decided to drink the bottle of whiskey as she thought it might break. Well she landed in the middle of a patrol of 20 Iraqi Republican Guard. She shot 14 of them with her pistol before she ran out of ammo, stabbed 5 of them to death with her knife before it broke and killed the remaining Iraqi with her bare hands.
"My goodness" said her teacher "what kind of moral could you possible get from that story?"
"Dont mess with Aunt Sally when she's been drinking"  |
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plokiju

Joined: 15 Mar 2005
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:00 am Post subject: |
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Where did he hide the bodies?
What's the old man going to do next year? Vinnie's not thinking about the long term. |
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pegpig

Joined: 10 May 2005
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:08 am Post subject: |
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I call bs.
An entire garden for tomatoes? He's an old man with a small garden. Why not diversify? I'd get pretty fed up with just eating tomatoes all the time. I think it'd get to the point where I'd wanna kill someone. Ah..... |
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schwa
Joined: 18 Jan 2003 Location: Yap
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numazawa

Joined: 20 Mar 2005 Location: The Concrete Barnyard
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:23 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
I call bs.
An entire garden for tomatoes? He's an old man with a small garden. Why not diversify? I'd get pretty fed up with just eating tomatoes all the time. I think it'd get to the point where I'd wanna kill someone. Ah..... |
Look. The guy's Italian. So he likes tomatoes. He likes to eat tomatoes. So he wants to grow lots o' tomatoes, so he can eat lots o' tomatoes. You with me so far? Good, 'cuz his number-one boy Vinnie, he's a-comin' outta prison any day now. You know what he does? He kills people. He likes to kill people, see? He's good at it. But he ain't been gettin' much practice at it lately, see, being in prison and all. I'm guessin' you're itchin' to meet Vinnie, am I right? Oh I'm sure you want to discuss your little tomato patch theory with Vinnie, yeah, yeah, Vinnie's gonna wanna hear all 'bout this... |
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joe_doufu

Joined: 09 May 2005 Location: Elsewhere
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:34 am Post subject: |
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Not really, schwa. An urban myth is something that's told by a person who believes it, with intent to pass it off as truth. Derrek just said that it was a cute story. I think we all enjoyed it as such.
But, your snopes link was fascinating, I really liked seeing the history of that particular story. |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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I like tomatoes. |
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