Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ESL Milk "Everyday]

This will probably be ignored because it's a topic about teaching as opposed to racism, sex, lying or extortion... but I've always wondered about this.

I know that becoming 'friends' with the students isn't something you should do, but at what point do you think a teacher becomes a 'friend' to his students?

I'm getting the impression that different people have a different sense of what this means... for some people, being the slightest bit friendly to the students means you're wrecking their education forever... with others, you can be friendly and approachable, but responsible.

For me, I think you're only their friend when you put their distractions ahead of their learning. Kids get some pretty far-out ideas and sometimes they're actually really funny, but obviously not all of them will contribute to their learning. A friend doesn't care about or understand the difference-- a teacher does.

Discipline is a little harder when you're approachable, but ultimately you can still reason with children and they can still come to realize why what they did was wrong and/or why they need a timeout.

Anyway-- please discuss!

[DrugstoreCowgirl]

I definitely think you can-and should-be friendly with your students. They aren't robots, they'll respond better if you're nice and happy as opposed to distant and detached. And you can still discipline them and not be a mean teacher. But I wouldn't ever hang out with my students after school or anything like that.

[Saskatoongirl]

i like to think of it more like being a big sister ... i was way more afraid of crossing my oldest sister than i was my parents!

[nomad-ish]

[TheUrbanMyth]

[ttompatz]

Can you be friendly and approachable within the context of the school / classroom = yes.

Should you be = yes.

but in terms of the relationship... think... benevolent dictator.

It is NOT egalitarian nor is it a democracy.

YOU are the teacher. YOU are the boss.

Time for fun, time for work and there ARE expectations.

In regard to socializing outside the classroom... possible BUT it still has to be framed within the professional expectation of teacher/student. You can be "friendly" but you ARE NOT their friend.

Now this blurs a lot when the students are ADULTS but it is still YOUR responsibility to maintain the professional relationship IF they are YOUR student.

When you are no longer in the teacher/student relationship AND if the student is an adult then and only then would it be permissible to take the relationship to the "friendship" (or beyond) level.

.

[NYC_Gal]

It depends on their age group. I teach elementary, so my favorite students get taken out for pizza or kalguksu, or even street vendor food on the walk to the train station on a fairly regular basis. I don't mind spending a few chun won, and they get to try and use their English a little more. They're more than happy to raise their hands in class, and even help the other kids a bit more, because being my helper gains snack points

With the older kids, though, it may be a tad difficult to control your friends in class.

[English Matt]

[Moldy Rutabaga]

I failed my practicum in Canada in '95! But the best thing one of the teachers at that school told me was: fear and humor. Make the class laugh sometimes, but also let them know that you will bare your teeth if they get out of line. It's worked for me.

So with children or even young adults there is a line I won't cross, and as others have said, I can be friendly without being a friend. Students don't generally need or want their teacher to be a pal. All of the nondirective teaching theory I've read which tries to make the teacher and student equals doesn't work for me. Someone eventually has to take charge, and this implies hierarchy, at least temporarily.

Having said that, I've also taught older adults (and married one). Friendship can be done with a class of adults who are mature enough to socialize with the teacher out of class but be supportive in class. Even there, there seems to a sort of role-playing where you are still the teacher within the classroom and not a buddy.

[lifeinkorea]

[ttompatz]

[the_beaver]

At the beginning of the semester I often tell my students that I'll be friendly with them but I am not their friend.

[PigeonFart]

I agree with the post above.

'Being friendly to someone' and 'being friends with someone' are two very different things.

[curiousaboutkorea]

[big_fella1]