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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 2:56 am Post subject: re: koreans interracial marriage thread.. |
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This whole Koreans marrying foreigners fallacy is a crock of shit. No mainstream korean is about to marry a foreigner, thus sacrificing the approval of her family and society, not to mention risk raising a mixed- race child in a life of misery. they still have too much to lose.
Koreans are image/appearance oriented people. They might marry a japanese, Vietnamese, or chinese, because their kids will be virtually indistinguishable from regular koreans...
But marrying a westerner is an outlandish, nay crazy, idea to them, generally speaking.
In my experience, the only Korean women who've been interested have been
a) past korean marrying age ie, over 30
b) somehow keen on a new life overseas, because they've fucked up here in some way.
c)Divorced and with a child/ children
d) looking for a long free course in english with a bit of sex thrown in as compensation
Not to say i view my former Korean flings as somehow substandard people: they were wonderful... but my point is, racism is a fundamental cornerstone of the dating game here... do not underestimate it.
I've met some very attractive and successful Korean women, single, and in their 20's. No matter how well we've clicked and gotten on, ultimately, they're not prepared to branch off from the Han master race when it comes to getting serious.
If you've had different experiences, I'm happy for you... but this is mine so far...
(p.s.: this was meant to be tacked onto the other thread, but it messed up and I wasn't about to re-type it all again...)
Edited once by Harpeau, 10:02PM, Sat. April 17, 2004. |
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kangnamdragon

Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Location: Kangnam, Seoul, Korea
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 3:19 am Post subject: |
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| I am sorry this has been your experience, but I have had a Korean woman interested in marrying me who was none of the above. |
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crazylemongirl

Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 3:27 am Post subject: Re: re: koreans interracial marriage thread.. |
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| rapier wrote: |
This whole Koreans marrying foreigners fallacy is a crock of s*it. No mainstream korean is about to marry a foreigner, thus sacrificing the approval of her family and society, not to mention risk raising a mixed- race child in a life of misery. they still have too much to lose.
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Korean men are far more likely to marry a non korean than a korean women.
Last edited by crazylemongirl on Sat Apr 17, 2004 3:30 am; edited 1 time in total |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 3:29 am Post subject: |
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| I suppose my problem is that i chase after stunners, who appreciate me as a temporary fling- but not as serious marriage material- because I'm not rich, just a wandering esl teacher. |
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dutchman

Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: My backyard
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 4:04 am Post subject: |
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Maybe women are turned off not by the fact that you are a foreigner but from your lack of stability. "Hey, marry me! I've got no definite plans for the future. I have a deadend job that I hate. No savings. Not sure what country I'll be moving to next. But hey I'm a swell guy! Hmmm...why can't I attract a nice girl?"
I and plenty of other foreigners I know have married Koreans that don't fit the categories you listed. |
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weatherman

Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Location: Korea
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 4:25 am Post subject: |
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I know what you are saying. I have often thought about it as anybody who will marry a westerner, their thinking has had to changed, in somehow, someway. That their perspective on life is different, so that they can comfortable marry and live a happy life away from the Korean box. How this happens and why is different for each individual. Usually it is overseas exposer and/or education.
And like you said, any stunner is going to want to take advantage of the system here in Korea, and play it for all it is worth, for they WILL be better off. Us esl teachers have nothing in what they are looking for in the long run, we don't really register with them. Being a stunner in other countries is a good thing, but in Korea, being a stunner really has it advantages, and they way marriage works, can really pay off. By stunner, I mean not only looks but the attitude and way of thinking that goes with it. |
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Zyzyfer

Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 7:18 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
| I suppose my problem is that i chase after stunners, who appreciate me as a temporary fling- but not as serious marriage material- because I'm not rich, just a wandering esl teacher. |
It's very rare that I ever find that one of those steaming hot girls has any sort of personality I'm into. So, you're on to something there, old chap. |
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Homer Guest
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 8:41 am Post subject: |
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Rapier,
Sorry man but this time your way off base.
As many have pointed out in here your list relates to your personal experiences and the perception that stems from it.
It does not apply to the general topic of mixed mariages.
I could cite my wife as an example that does not fit your list.
Many others could do the same.
Finally, I do not think that my kids will be raised in a 'life of misery'....thats a exageration on your part I think.
My wife does not think so, neither does her family. |
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Cthulhu

Joined: 02 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 9:39 am Post subject: |
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dutchman wrote:
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Maybe women are turned off not by the fact that you are a foreigner but from your lack of stability. "Hey, marry me! I've got no definite plans for the future. I have a deadend job that I hate. No savings. Not sure what country I'll be moving to next. But hey I'm a swell guy! Hmmm...why can't I attract a nice girl?"
I and plenty of other foreigners I know have married Koreans that don't fit the categories you listed. |
Amen to that. It appears the original poster completely ignored a little thing called economics when making his list. Most marriageable people don't react positively to an uncertain future or transient lifestyle. |
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hellofaniceguy

Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: On your computer screen!
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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The original poster is out in left field!
I know of many, many korean women who married westerners and who don't fit the sterotype that you posted!
Just because you have not been lucky in finding someone to settle with does not mean others have to accept the same fate. |
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Gollum
Joined: 04 Sep 2003 Location: Japan
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 5:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Zyzyfer wrote: |
| rapier wrote: |
| I suppose my problem is that i chase after stunners, who appreciate me as a temporary fling- but not as serious marriage material- because I'm not rich, just a wandering esl teacher. |
It's very rare that I ever find that one of those steaming hot girls has any sort of personality I'm into. So, you're on to something there, old chap. |
Isn't that the truth!
It's easy to find lots of attractive girls here, but trying to find one with looks, fun personality, AND English ability -- these types are surrounded by men and waiting for their rich dreamboat, or are already married. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Cthulhu wrote: |
dutchman wrote:
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Maybe women are turned off not by the fact that you are a foreigner but from your lack of stability. "Hey, marry me! I've got no definite plans for the future. I have a deadend job that I hate. No savings. Not sure what country I'll be moving to next. But hey I'm a swell guy! Hmmm...why can't I attract a nice girl?"
I and plenty of other foreigners I know have married Koreans that don't fit the categories you listed. |
Amen to that. It appears the original poster completely ignored a little thing called economics when making his list. Most marriageable people don't react positively to an uncertain future or transient lifestyle. |
Uncertain future/transient lifestyle is what we all are out here. You work in a hagwon. Your contract could be shredded anytime. All of us esl teachers here are transients.
I suppose I have to admit this is hardly a sexy proposition to Korean women who want their 300million won house as part of a marriage contract.
I never really considered money as a first thought when it comes to finding a partner...really, I would marry a street sweeper if she made me happy... kinda sad to see i have to have a hotel on Park Lane before I can even play the Korean monopoly dating game... |
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
| Uncertain future/transient lifestyle is what we all are out here. . |
Not all of us. And not all of us work in hagwons. |
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just because

Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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Rapier, my current g/f is none of the above.
It doesn't matter what nationality to me. just character and she has it in spades.
We will definantly marry, she doesn't really care about her parents opinion, we will have children and live in Korea and she is only 25. |
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danyuk

Joined: 17 Jun 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| dutchman wrote: |
Maybe women are turned off not by the fact that you are a foreigner but from your lack of stability. "Hey, marry me! I've got no definite plans for the future. I have a deadend job that I hate. No savings. Not sure what country I'll be moving to next. But hey I'm a swell guy! Hmmm...why can't I attract a nice girl?"
I and plenty of other foreigners I know have married Koreans that don't fit the categories you listed. |
I have to admit that this has crossed my mind more than any other of the thoughts submitted here  |
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