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Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon
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Cartman



Joined: 30 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:19 am    Post subject: Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon Reply with quote

I'm finally going to vent this one - Just wanted to know how many others out there are experiencing stuff like this:

Been on the dating scene for long enough now to experience the same patterns of flakiness. Met a couple of nice genuine girls, who I've dated for a bit, but most of the ones in between are clearly not interested since they keep flaking out of meeting up at the last minute. YET, they continue to text msg me as soon as I give up:

"Hi, how was your day/weekend?"
or
"what are you doing this week"?

- almost to try and spark my interest in paying attention to them again.

Then as soon as they get me to send a msg or two back and ask to meet up, they back off. I have always been clear with my intentions from the start: some I want to try and be friends with, and others know that I am looking for something possibly more.

I feel like just writing "WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT" - but instead I'm just starting to delete the contacts from my phone.

Another thing that is irritating when talking to a girl in person is the constant approval seeking. I get questions like "So, what is your image of me?" "Or what did you think of me when you first met?" (when we just met 10 minutes ago). At first I thought it was a test for them to make sure I'm interested, which is fine. But many times I find that even some of the girls who aren't interested still TRAP me into giving them multiple compliments by asking the same question 4 times over the course of a 20 minute conversation.

I watched a friend play it cooler with a girl who was definitely interested in him and when he decided not to 'play into' her 6th approval seeking question about what he thought of her, she made a sad face and put her knuckles close to her eyes as if to imitate herself crying.

I'm done with the games. No more ego stroking from me. Only going to give the time of day to the ones who seem real and genuine....

Would like to hear some of your stories if they are similar....
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nautilus



Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My moneys on 20 pages, maybe 21.
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Xuanzang



Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Sadang

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You and Goku need to form a K-girls help club.
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The Gipkik



Joined: 30 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, listen, if you insist on meeting drunk Korean girls in bars; girls who are specifically looking for the white boys, you're going to get some real head cases going on. They're essentially outsiders. Good luck.
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Bog Roll



Joined: 07 Oct 2009
Location: JongnoGuru country. RIP mate.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Xuanzang wrote:
You and Goku need to form a K-girls help club.


Goku needs to come out of the closet.

Anyway - haven't you got some work to do - RyanEngrishteachuur thread - we are missing a new commentary and you are the only man who can! Very Happy
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Janny



Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Location: all over the place

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
My moneys on 20 pages, maybe 21.



Laughing Laughing
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MattAwesome



Joined: 30 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

first poster that has had the same problems as i have. if they flake, they are not interested so move on.
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Cartman



Joined: 30 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MattAwesome wrote:
first poster that has had the same problems as i have. if they flake, they are not interested so move on.


Flaking is normal both here and in the western world. Only difference is, in the western world if a girl's not interested, she doesn't bother to drag things out to the death by sending repeated text messages to make sure she is still on your 'attention and compliments' rotation Exclamation
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Kimchi Cha Cha



Joined: 15 May 2003
Location: was Suncheon, now Brisbane

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop looking at Korean girls in their 20s and move onto women in the 30s, or older if that floats ya boat.

Less mind games, less stress, less flakiness, more directness, more accountability. You'll be thanking me later. Cool
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bry0000000



Joined: 30 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:09 am    Post subject: Re: Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon Reply with quote

There's a lot to explain here and I don't think I can do a good job of it, but suffice to say, you're already behind the 8 ball because they know you're interested. Your best bet is to show to them that you weren't actually interested without them thinking you're disinterested.

Cartman wrote:
"Hi, how was your day/weekend?"

Right answer: "It was great, thanks for asking!"

Quote:
"what are you doing this week"?

Right Answer: Tell them what you're doing and don't invite them along

Women like to chase men, even if they don't know it. The guy they can get easily isn't worth having, no matter how interesting or good looking he is. In my experience, it goes the other way around. I don't like it when girls show too much interest in me off the bat, even if she is as hot as Jessica Alba.
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Cartman



Joined: 30 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:23 am    Post subject: Re: Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon Reply with quote

bry0000000 wrote:
There's a lot to explain here and I don't think I can do a good job of it, but suffice to say, you're already behind the 8 ball because they know you're interested. Your best bet is to show to them that you weren't actually interested without them thinking you're disinterested.

Cartman wrote:
"Hi, how was your day/weekend?"

Right answer: "It was great, thanks for asking!"

Quote:
"what are you doing this week"?

Right Answer: Tell them what you're doing and don't invite them along

Women like to chase men, even if they don't know it. The guy they can get easily isn't worth having, no matter how interesting or good looking he is. In my experience, it goes the other way around. I don't like it when girls show too much interest in me off the bat, even if she is as hot as Jessica Alba.


Definitely good advice. I like the vague text msg approach. Have tried that too, but now I'm just done tolerating girls acting like 20 years olds. OH WAIT. Some of them ARE that age. No wonder. Girls in their late 20s have been acting similar though too. It's only a few 30+ girls that don't act as stupid, but then there's a whole new world of baggage... the kind of baggage that a million other posters on Dave's have covered already.

I should've prefaced all of this to say that I generally do well with girls in general, mostly by playing it cool. When my approach here in Seoul didn't yield any results I had to find a happy medium. A few K-girls that I were dating have told me that many girls already assume most foreigners are 'players' and playing it cool just reinforces this. Of course, every girl is different. If a girl is attracted to a guy, then I've watched them fall all over themselves to get his attention, no matter what idiotic thing he says. Shocked
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I'm no Picasso



Joined: 28 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:28 am    Post subject: Re: Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon Reply with quote

bry0000000 wrote:


Women like to chase men, even if they don't know it. The guy they can get easily isn't worth having, no matter how interesting or good looking he is. In my experience, it goes the other way around. I don't like it when girls show too much interest in me off the bat, even if she is as hot as Jessica Alba.


Bull. I'm too old/tired/busy for that. I like a guy who's direct. If I'm into him, I'm into him. If I'm not, I'm not. If I'm into him and he starts acting like a game-playing tosser, I get irritated and 'delete' him pretty quickly.

I've gotten the same exact kind of nonsense off of a couple of Korean guys, to the extent that I do eventually just text back, "Sorry, but what do you want?" Time wasters. Don't even be bothered with it.
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Goku



Joined: 10 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:35 am    Post subject: Re: Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon Reply with quote

Cartman wrote:
I'm finally going to vent this one - Just wanted to know how many others out there are experiencing stuff like this:

Been on the dating scene for long enough now to experience the same patterns of flakiness. Met a couple of nice genuine girls, who I've dated for a bit, but most of the ones in between are clearly not interested since they keep flaking out of meeting up at the last minute. YET, they continue to text msg me as soon as I give up:

"Hi, how was your day/weekend?"
or
"what are you doing this week"?

- almost to try and spark my interest in paying attention to them again.

Then as soon as they get me to send a msg or two back and ask to meet up, they back off. I have always been clear with my intentions from the start: some I want to try and be friends with, and others know that I am looking for something possibly more.

I feel like just writing "WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT" - but instead I'm just starting to delete the contacts from my phone.

Another thing that is irritating when talking to a girl in person is the constant approval seeking. I get questions like "So, what is your image of me?" "Or what did you think of me when you first met?" (when we just met 10 minutes ago). At first I thought it was a test for them to make sure I'm interested, which is fine. But many times I find that even some of the girls who aren't interested still TRAP me into giving them multiple compliments by asking the same question 4 times over the course of a 20 minute conversation.

I watched a friend play it cooler with a girl who was definitely interested in him and when he decided not to 'play into' her 6th approval seeking question about what he thought of her, she made a sad face and put her knuckles close to her eyes as if to imitate herself crying.

I'm done with the games. No more ego stroking from me. Only going to give the time of day to the ones who seem real and genuine....

Would like to hear some of your stories if they are similar....


AMen, I'm sick of hot chicks or club girls

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=170189

I'm sticking with ok/ugly chicks or dudes now...

Seriously, Imma start seeing if I can get some man action.

No more emotional BS.
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sarahsiobhan



Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once had a guy (that I met in a bar.....I know.....lame) text me saying "What are you doing?"


I told him I was reading.


30 minutes later.......text. "What are you doing now?"


Deleting you from my phone, you tool.


On the other hand, I am surprised (yet a bit pleased) to see a thread that actually comments on the annoying behavior of a certain type of Korean girl. (Not woman.) The compliment-vampires who lurk in bars, their faces illuminated by the screens of their cell phones, who only look up to ask 'Do you think I'm pretty?' irritate the pants off me, and I don't even date them.
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Old Gil



Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kimchi Cha Cha wrote:
Stop looking at Korean girls in their 20s and move onto women in the 30s, or older if that floats ya boat.

Less mind games, less stress, less flakiness, more directness, more accountability. You'll be thanking me later. Cool


Oh my Sejong yes. Korean 35 is not American 35, great great great times.
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