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Grimalkin

Joined: 22 May 2005
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:36 pm Post subject: How long does sexual attraction last? |
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At home on holiday with too much time on my hands to think about things and this question has taken root in my mind.
My students have, at different times, confidently assured me that love lasts no longer than three years (they saw it on the telly so it must be true!).
What I want to know is how long does sexual attraction last? Am I going to end up in a relationship where I still love the person but no longer fancy them and I have to choose between being celibate for the rest of my life or being unfaithful.
Okay I'm not asking for someone to produce a crystal ball for me and predict my future but I'm looking for people's views about whether love in general tends to outlast physical attraction (and by much?) and what should people do in that case. What if you're still relatively young when that happens?
Married people, coupled people and single people are all welcome to share their experience, views, insights etc. |
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Mr. BlackCat

Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Location: Insert witty remark HERE
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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My sexual attraction to my partner lasts about 6 minutes. I can stretch it out to 10 if I do some mental exercises.
Maybe I'm not the best to ask though. I hate people. |
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ChopChaeJoe
Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| I always thought it was 7 years. Seven Year Itch, all of that. |
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Grimalkin

Joined: 22 May 2005
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| ChopChaeJoe wrote: |
| I always thought it was 7 years. Seven Year Itch, all of that. |
aaaahhh that rings a bell. I've heard that before as well (in fact isn't that how long Brad and Jennifer lasted?). |
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khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Compunction Junction
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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til the lights come on
*rimshot* |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Well I've been attracted to the Olsen twins for about ten years now.. so that fantasy is still going strong. Another girl I grew up with I've been attracted to since kindergarten, so that's about 20 years. Still find her incredibly hot (though a religious nutcase, unfortunately). |
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VanIslander

Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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As someone who has had two long term relationships I'd say the nature of sexual arousal changes over time and indeed by the fourth or fifth year one is less sexually attracted by the looks and allure and more attracted by the thoughts, memories and rapport of the relationship.
Lovemaking can get better and better, not worse over time. If it changes rather than dies with the waning of the excitement, frenzy, unsettled newness of sex with someone you don't know well (yet). |
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Roch
Joined: 24 Apr 2003 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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I.Q. and educational background play a part in a woman's perceived sexiness, eh.
How many guys on this board literally followed their brains when an allegedly so-so looking gal with an enormously high Intelligence Quotient entered their lives?
Be honest!!!
A highly-intelligent chick with excellent manners and a kind way about her is just too sexy for words, and that is all there is to it.
For instance, reckon that Barbie Benton was not sexy enough for Bertrand Russell. Let's just reckon.
But, add 29 points to her I.Q. and watch her date a Russell or a Flotsam or a Spinoza or any of the other resident scholars on this board.
Go to any big city in the world: You'll see smart ladies lacking in looks hand-in-hand with guys smart enough to have asked them out for a date.
Spinoza and Flotsam are two of the most famous Lady Killers on this board, and we would like to know what sort of woman rings their bells. |
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robot

Joined: 07 Mar 2006
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Qinella wrote: |
| Well I've been attracted to the Olsen twins for about ten years now.. (though a religious nutcase, unfortunately). |
you've dug them since they were 10?
cuz they're only 20 now.
ROBT. |
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tzechuk

Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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robot - teenager infatuations..
I have known my husband for 7 years, coming to 8 next March. We've been married 4.5 years. He still turns me on.
I think it's different for different people.
Last edited by tzechuk on Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:29 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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| robot wrote: |
| Qinella wrote: |
| Well I've been attracted to the Olsen twins for about ten years now.. (though a religious nutcase, unfortunately). |
you've dug them since they were 10?
cuz they're only 20 now.
ROBT. |
They're only 5 years younger than me. I guess you could say I was an underage pedophile. Or that I was exaggerating.
Teenage flatuation? lol! Did you mean infatuation, Mademoiselle Tzechuk? |
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Thunndarr

Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think it's a function of time. I think it's a function of the number of shags you've had with the object of your desire (as well as the strength of that desire to begin with.)
So, for example, you're dating someone who really turns you on to the tune of, say, 500 shags. If you break up before the final shag, you may never be unattracted to that person. On the other hand, let's say you break up around the 750th shag (around the 6th month mark for me CHAKOW!) you've probably gone well past having sex out of desire, and will likely never use that particular individual as wank material ever again.
There are ways, of course, for you to increase the "Shag Limit." One way is to put yourself in situations where a concussion, and therefore memory loss, are likely. Another way is to get get so completely hammered off soju that you blackout before the shag, ensuring that it doesn't count against your Shag Limit. These are just a couple of ways to keep your sex life exciting and fresh. Use your imagination, be creative, and you may never reach your Shag Limit. Godspeed. |
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tzechuk

Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Qinella wrote: |
| robot wrote: |
| Qinella wrote: |
| Well I've been attracted to the Olsen twins for about ten years now.. (though a religious nutcase, unfortunately). |
you've dug them since they were 10?
cuz they're only 20 now.
ROBT. |
They're only 5 years younger than me. I guess you could say I was an underage pedophile. Or that I was exaggerating.
Teenage flatuation? lol! Did you mean infatuation, Mademoiselle Tzechuk? |
Yeah, that's what i meant.
Sorry I only got 6 hours of sleep last night..
And i am Madame - being married and all  |
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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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| tzechuk wrote: |
| Qinella wrote: |
| robot wrote: |
| Qinella wrote: |
| Well I've been attracted to the Olsen twins for about ten years now.. (though a religious nutcase, unfortunately). |
you've dug them since they were 10?
cuz they're only 20 now.
ROBT. |
They're only 5 years younger than me. I guess you could say I was an underage pedophile. Or that I was exaggerating.
Teenage flatuation? lol! Did you mean infatuation, Mademoiselle Tzechuk? |
Yeah, that's what i meant.
Sorry I only got 6 hours of sleep last night..
And i am Madame - being married and all  |
and I thought you meant flatulance... |
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seoulunitarian

Joined: 06 Jul 2004
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:43 pm Post subject: Re: How long does sexual attraction last? |
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| Grimalkin wrote: |
At home on holiday with too much time on my hands to think about things and this question has taken root in my mind.
My students have, at different times, confidently assured me that love lasts no longer than three years (they saw it on the telly so it must be true!).
What I want to know is how long does sexual attraction last? Am I going to end up in a relationship where I still love the person but no longer fancy them and I have to choose between being celibate for the rest of my life or being unfaithful.
Okay I'm not asking for someone to produce a crystal ball for me and predict my future but I'm looking for people's views about whether love in general tends to outlast physical attraction (and by much?) and what should people do in that case. What if you're still relatively young when that happens?
Married people, coupled people and single people are all welcome to share their experience, views, insights etc. |
I think the problem is that people equate love with sex. I'm not saying you do, but most people I know do. Love is a choice. The feelings of attraction (at least 24/7 attraction) go away very quickly. However, if you really love a person, sexual attraction is not a huge issue. There are more than the two choices of being celibate and being unfaithful. There's the choice of working to make a relationship you value last. I've been with my partner almost 3 years. The constant attraction disappeared after about 6 months. But I love him, and I have made the choice to be with him. Relationships are hard work, but when I look to the future, I will be much happier with him than if I skipped around having sexual escapades all my life.
Peace |
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