lotus
Joined: 25 Jan 2004
Posts: 862
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 Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:56 pm Post subject: |
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Hi,
I wouldn't use it. The mixed tense does not sound right. You cannot refer to a "moment" in time "as" it happens in the same breath.
Try:
He loved it when he saw dolphins swimming alongside his boat.
He loved the time (when) he saw dolphins swimming alongside his boat.
He savored the moment (when) he saw dolphins swimming alongside his boat.
He fell in love the moment he saw dolphins swimming alongside his boat.
As the dolphins swam alongside his boat, he felt a warm kinship.
The moment he saw dolphins swimming alongside his boat, he was deliriously (very) happy.
--lotus
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War does not make one great --Yoda |
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