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Swim4life
Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Posts: 84
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 Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: my story of learning English |
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Hi there,
I like to tell people my stories of learning English. The following is a very small part of my story:
I love to collect beautiful English sentences and phrases. Every time I come across some really authentic ones, I get a kind of indescribable feeling of excitement. And after I completely memorize them, I feel long lasting satisfaction and pleasure.
Please let me know if it sounds natural and makes sense in English.
Nice weekend!
Laozhang |
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tyreless
Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Posts: 46
Location: Colombia
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
I love to collect beautiful English sentences and phrases. Every time I come across some really authentic ones, I get a kind of indescribable feeling of excitement. And after I completely memorize them, I feel long lasting satisfaction and pleasure.
Please let me know if it sounds natural and makes sense in English. |
Hello Swim4life it definitely makes sense though I have to admit that I never went to such extremes. It is a good and also complex sentence but I would make some minor changes:
I love to collect beautiful English sentences and phrases. Every time I come across some really authentic ones, I get (an) (..) indescribable feeling of excitement(, and) after I completely (memorizing) them, I feel (a) long lasting satisfaction and pleasure.
Somehow the notion of "a kind of" reflects a familiarity which doesn't go together with "indescribable". That's my personal impression at least.
"," instead of ".". With "and" two sentences are joined but with full stops they are seperated. Using them both together is problematic.
"memorizing" instead "memorize". A stylistic issue really, but all the preceding nouns are in simple present. Using a continuous form breaks this pattern and in combination with "after" alerts the reader to what follows.
"(a) long lasting pleasure and satisfaction" If it weren't for the "long lasting" I wouln't use an article, but after specifying "pleasure and satisfaction" like this I would.
Does that help
David
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Consume less - live more |
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Swim4life
Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Posts: 84
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you very David! It does help!
By the way David, I think "memorizing" should be "memorize" in my sentence. or remove "I". Am I right?
Laozhang from Shanghai |
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