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ziawj2
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Posts: 19
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 Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 6:59 am Post subject: a letter of invitation |
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I checked my student's letter of invitation, but I am not very sure whether I make the letter more fluent and natural or not. Could you help me check it?
My student's letter:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
I would be very pleased to invite you to visit my garden on Saturday, May 15, 2012.
We sincerely hope that you could accept our invitation.As you know, my garden has variety of flowers, they are beautiful, I think you will like it, and I recall that both of you are Chinese food lovers, so I will prepare Chinese food as the main course, If you can come, please let us know as soon as possible, we are looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Susan
I checked it:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
I would be very pleased to invite you to come to my garden and have a dinner on Saturday, May 15, 2012.
You know, I grew many flowers in my garden and now they are in full bloom. They are beautiful. I am sure you will like them. I remember you and your wife like Chinese food, so I will cook some traditional Chinese dishes for you. We can have dinner in the garden.
If you can come, please tell me as soon as possible. I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Susan |
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askeladd
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 89
Location: Chicago area, USA
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 2:20 am Post subject: Re: a letter of invitation |
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| ziawj2 wrote: |
I checked my student's letter of invitation, but I am not very sure whether I make the letter more fluent and natural or not. Could you help me check it?
My student's letter:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
I would be very pleased to invite you to visit my garden on Saturday, May 15, 2012.
We sincerely hope that you could accept our invitation.As you know, my garden has variety of flowers, they are beautiful, I think you will like it, and I recall that both of you are Chinese food lovers, so I will prepare Chinese food as the main course, If you can come, please let us know as soon as possible, we are looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Susan
I checked it:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
I would be very pleased to invite you to come to my garden and have a dinner on Saturday, May 15, 2012.
You know, I grew many flowers in my garden and now they are in full bloom. They are beautiful. I am sure you will like them. I remember you and your wife like Chinese food, so I will cook some traditional Chinese dishes for you. We can have dinner in the garden.
If you can come, please tell me as soon as possible. I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Susan |
Well, I'm a bit puzzled about the date  but the rest of the letter seems fine. The only comment I have is that it sounds unnatural to use the past tense "grew," as it then implies that she got rid of the garden, or switched out the flowers and is now growing something entirely different, etc. I would use the simple present:
You know, I grow many flowers in my garden, and now they are in full bloom.
Hope this helps 
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