Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[hanygeorge38]

hello teachers

could you please check the follwing message for me

Dear Sirs,

Good Day,

Please be advised that after dispatching all the original vouchers
related to a vessel called our ports on 27.03.03, we received the attached PORT & LIGHT INVOICE from PORT & LIGHTHOUSES ADM
issuing on 4.03.04

In this respect you are kindly requested to transfere the amount
indicated in the invoice to our account in due course.

thanks in advance
_________________
hany

[obelix]

Dear Sirs,



Please be advised that after dispatching all the original vouchers related to a vessel which called at our ports on 27.03.03, we received the attached invoice from PORT & LIGHTHOUSES ADM, issued on 4.03.04. Please transfer the amount indicated to our account.



You would not usually put "Good Day" at the start of a business letter.
In general a business letter should be short and to the point.
I am not sure if you mean the "Thanks in advance" phrase to be part of the letter or not. If you do... You should leave it out.
I think the letter would be better if you mentioned the name of the vessel e.g. Star of Africa, rather than the general, a vessel