Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[BabieAngel]

I need a little help on this....

I have a friend and we hang out every weekend like "the boys".....We're both single....I am interested in him...but he always shows me mix of signals....sometimes he seems to like me a lot and care for me a lot...sometimes he acts like he doesn't care... we once spent a night together (nothing going on, just hang like "the 2 boys" of course) we're just lying next to each other and talked. He talked and asked me a lot of things about personal stuffs, body parts stuffs and even sex stuffs. We were kinda very close that night. And after that, a week later he sent me an email which at the end before signing his name he ended with: "Your clubbing, poker and hang-out buddy."

And after that we still hang out, clubbing together. But then I was kinda ignored him a bit. For example in the club I went around and danced with my girl friends, and instead like before he walked around and look at girls...now he was just standing there and waited or looked for me. We went eat after the club and he told me that one of his friend like me. I told him that I didnot have interested in that guy and I said: "I am not an easy person." and he replied: "I'm not an easy person, too". Then, I did metion to him that "I think I'm not gonna have boyfriend for a while", so he replied with: "Me too, I think I'm not gonna have girlfriend for awhile, too".

And then couple days later, another friend asked me to go movie with them...I told him. Well he didn't seem to like to go that much but he still decided to go. Right before movie, he called me and ask me out for dinner and again didn't really into going to movie, he still tried to make it with me to meet the other friends at the theater. (Noted that all that time I was still act like normal friend just because of his "your clubbing, porker and hang-out buddy" phrase.)
Then, a day after that, I saw a miscall from him after I was done with my night class. I called him back like usual, well he picked up and said that he accidently hit the wrong key to call me, and carry on the conversation for a bit and asked if I am ready to go out the coming weekend with him again.
--------------------------------------------------
I am so confused about this.....I don't know what kind of messages/signals he is sending me.....What does he want?.... I don't want to ask him....I am afraid of messing up our friendship. And I think he knows that I have interested in him, because I do make efforts to hang-out with him, but because of trying to keep my pride and the friendship I cannot do anything more rather than trying my best to maintain the way it is for our relationship. I did give him a lot of hints before he sent his "email". And after his email, I take it as a rejection. I just be as a friend a "buddy" as he says and try to forget about it. So what is the matter here? He says he is not easy? Isn't he trying to play some mind games with me? Or it's just he doesn't have interested in me at all? Simply just a regular friendship? What should I do? Just keep the way it is, wait and see what happen?

[coffeerocks]

It's a tough situation. I understand that. Is it OK for you to stabilize the friendship even though you have feelings for the guy? Falling for a buddy has a lot of risks to take, and some people just avoid going through with it, but I think it's unhealthy especially for you. Try to kid around with him expressing some feelings to him, and if he goes along with you, then there might be something there. Or try to question him, " have you ever thought of what we are?". and try to ease him in the conversation. One thing is for sure. Don't pressure him, or seem like you were head over heels in love with him for the longest time. It will just freak him out. Just try to be calm, laid-back with a sense of humor! Good luck!!!

[marysok]

Hi,
Be careful don't play garme with heard.
just think about that, before you share your life with some,
Broken heard it dosen't means like glass.
Goog luck.