Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

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TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?

JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WILLY: Me!

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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

SILVIA: Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."

ELLEN: All right...

"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married

on the sameday sametime."

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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog"

is exactly the same as your brother's.

Did u copy his?

Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Pupil: A teacher.

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