Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[Jekzhou]

The Italiano tourist wrote a complaint letter to the Manager of a hotel in London. The letter read as follows:

Dear Signor Diretorre

Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella.

When I comma in my room I see no shhitt in my bed. How can I sleep with no shhitt in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tell: "I wanna shhitt". They tella me "Go to the toillet". I said ''No, no u not understand me. I wanna shhitt in my bed now". They said "You betta not shhitt in your bed, you sonnawabitch".

What is sonnawabitch?!

I go down to restorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point to toast "I wanna piss". She tella me "Go to the toillett". I say "No, no u not understand me. I wanna piss on my plate now". She then say to me "You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch".

I don't even know the lady and she call me sonnawabitch!
What is sonnawabitch?

Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and she tella me "Sure everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, No. u not understand me. I wanna fock on the table now". She then tell me "So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outa here!"

So I go to the receptione and ask for bills. I no wanna stay in your hotel no more. When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace be with you". I say "Pisse on you too, you sonnawabitch". I go back to Italy!

hahahaha so funny

[RedRose]

oh, so crazy!! this guy had a hard time in London!!

I will take a dictionary and a pen/a piece of paper with me if I wanna visit London

[weiyao]

haha, it's funny