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J@n@
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Germany
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 Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 12:05 pm Post subject: Valentine Day |
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hey 
whats about valentine day? What do you think - is it important to "celebrate" it or not? And how do you "celebrate" Valentine Day? is it different in other countries?
And where does the valentine day come from? From the USA???  |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 1:30 pm Post subject: |
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hi that's what wikipedia says concerning Valentine's Day
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Die Tradition des Valentinstags wird heute zumeist auf die Sage des Bischofs Valentin von Terni zur�ckgef�hrt, der als christlicher M�rtyrer starb. Der Heilige liegt heute in der bayerischen Stadt Krumbach, Landkreis G�nzburg begraben.
Valentin war im dritten Jahrhundert nach Christus der Bischof der italienischen Stadt Terni (damals Interamna). Er hatte laut dieser Sage einige Verliebte christlich getraut, darunter Soldaten, die nach damaligem kaiserlichen Befehl unverheiratet bleiben mussten. Zudem hat er der Sage nach den frisch verheirateten Paaren Blumen aus seinem Garten geschenkt. Die Ehen, die von ihm geschlossen wurden, haben der �berlieferung nach unter einem guten Stern gestanden. Auf Befehl des Kaisers Claudius II. wurde er am 14. Februar 269 wegen seines christlichen Glaubens enthauptet.[1]
Eine Erweiterung der Sage bringt den Todestag Valentins mit dem r�mischen Fest Lupercalia zusammen, das auf den 14. Februar fiel. Es war der Feiertag der r�m. G�ttin Juno (gr.: Hera), der Frau des Jupiter (gr.: Zeus) und Schutzpatronin der Ehe. Junge M�dchen gingen an diesem hohen Festtag in den Juno-Tempel, um sich ein Liebesorakel f�r die richtige Partnerwahl zu holen.
Junge M�nner aus dem einfachen Volk zogen an diesem Tag Lose, auf denen die Namen der noch ledigen Frauen standen. Die so gelosten P�rchen gingen miteinander aus und so manche sollen sich ineinander verliebt haben. Dieser Volksbrauch galt vielen r�mischen Aristokraten als unmoralisch. Ehem�nner schenkten ihren Frauen an diesem Tag Blumen. So kam es, dass sich dieses �ltere r�mische Brauchtum mit der Geschichte des christlichen M�rtyrers mischte und in die sp�tere Gesellschaft einsickerte. |
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J@n@
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:05 am Post subject: |
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oui..
thank you very much for giving me information from wikipedia 
so tell me: is it a big problem if my boyfriend didnt give me a red rose or something like that on Valentines Day? Does it mean that he doesnt really love me? (well we told each other that we wont make each other presents on Valentins Day because we think that its too stupid to give us presents and to say each other how much we love us just because it s Valentins Day... ) |
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hoshi
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 564
Location: At the best place of your dreams :D Loveland
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| Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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| J@n@ wrote: |
| well we told each other that we wont make each other presents on Valentins Day because we think that its too stupid to give us presents and to say each other how much we love us just because it s Valentins Day... ) |
I disagree with you, for me it is too important! but you have to say it all the days or at least frequently.
You know, that`s an important date, but what really is more important is to remember it other days... not just only on valentine's day
_________________
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God gave us only one heart? Because He wants us to find the other one! |
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Bob S.
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal
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| Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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| J@n@ wrote: |
| so tell me: is it a big problem if my boyfriend didnt give me a red rose or something like that on Valentines Day? Does it mean that he doesnt really love me? |
It depends. Do you want a BF who is spontaneously romantic? If so, then you have a problem. 
BTW, you don't have to be Christian to enjoy St. Valentine's Day. I gave my Buddhist wife roses, and she gave me a new coat (though now that means I don't have an excuse to not walk the dog in the evening when it is cold).
As a rule of thumb, a woman should avoid Valentine's Day Scrooges.
_________________
"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper |
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J@n@
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:03 am Post subject: |
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Well, of course i want a romantic boyfriend because i am romantic, too. sometimes we are together romantic and lie there with candles shining..  Thats very great. But i love him too much to want to change him into a kind of gentleman who always makes me cute presents and things like that. for me it is enough when he tells me that he loves me (and he does, over 10000 times a day..  ) and when he opens me the doors as we re walking through them... cute little things like that - i dont want other presents. the love he gives me is enough... |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry I answered you so late...
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| so tell me: is it a big problem if my boyfriend didnt give me a red rose or something like that on Valentines Day? Does it mean that he doesnt really love me? (well we told each other that we wont make each other presents on Valentins Day because we think that its too stupid to give us presents and to say each other how much we love us just because it s Valentins Day... ) |
Believe me, it's not a problem if your boyfriend didn't give you a red rose on Valentine's day. It's better if he doesn't give you, than if he gives you. Why does a boy want to give a girl a rose? Yeah, because it's what everybody does. And think... Why do I give you a rose? Because the media tells me that we have to give our girlfriend a rose. (best would be red.) So in the end, I love the media more than you.
Maybe people in the past wanted a love from a higher status. In the middle age, there were aristocracy and civilians. Girls from civilian family would get very happy to marry an aristocrat boy, for example the Cinderella in the fairytale. In the times of french revolution, there were Proletariat and Bourgeosie . Girls from Beougeosie (poor civilians) wanted boys from Proletariat. (rich people)  Modern people, particularly in the western countries like Germany with a high average living standart, don't set such a store on money, because there are social welfare who guarantees the minimum of existence.
As living is guaranteed, we look for more- That is, to live happy. That's why we search for the one we can rely on most, and not for the one who has the most amount of money. That's why he has to touch your heart than to touch your greed --> romantical love. Cause, if he touches your greed, maybe you will start to exploit from him, and maybe search for another one, or maybe he will just think you could do it. That will lead to trouble.
That's why I agree to you very much why you think it's stupid to give each other presents at Valentine's Day. Ok, it happened once to me, that my girlfriend wanted a thing very much, which costed a lot of money. (really a lot) I didn't give her the money, just because of the thing we said. (It was also such a Day like Valentine's Day) Well a rose is not thaaat serious, but still it falls in the same cathegory.
Instead, I bought such roses for her.  The rose is white at their bottom, from where the bloom comes. White rose means friendship, means she is like a very good friend of me. The bloom has an pink edge, which says that around the friendship, there is my love. It's also a birthday present, for her 18th birthday. It were 17 roses, and she is the 18th rose. I think she will never guess all these things I implied. |
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J@n@
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 9:50 am Post subject: |
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your English is very good and you know many things, but i think i have to correct you.
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| Girls from Beougeosie (poor civilians) wanted boys from Proletariat. (rich people) |
It's wrong. The Proletariat are the poor peaple, the working men (and women) ! Think about Marx' "Dictatorship of the Proletariat"; the rich people had already the power...
oh, that's very romantic and cuite.. i hope your girlfriend knows all those things.. oh, (reading is very difficult ) why didn't you tell her the things you thought about the roses? ...yes, of course she could have guessed everything, but... you could have also given her a kind of letter that explains everything... i don't know.. |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:54 am Post subject: |
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| It's wrong. The Proletariat are the poor peaple, the working men (and women) ! Think about Marx' "Dictatorship of the Proletariat"; the rich people had already the power... |
thanks for the correction, I mistook both definitions. Of course it's the other way round.
I told her the reason why the roses are not plain red, but I haven't told her about the numbers yet. Well, I'm not such a guy who says: "Look here, I'm so intelligent, I have thought so many things for you." That's a bit showing off, I think.
And however, if you were in such a situation, maybe you are embarassed to say that... Ok, maybe you are not, most German girls are very outgoing , but I was. |
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Bob S.
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal
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| Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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| J@n@ wrote: |
| ...i love him too much to want to change him into a kind of gentleman who always makes me cute presents and things like that. for me it is enough when he tells me that he loves me (and he does, over 10000 times a day.. ) and when he opens me the doors as we re walking through them... cute little things like that - i dont want other presents. the love he gives me is enough... |
Well, words are cheap, and I'm sure he is quite happy to know he has a GF who is a cheap date and doesn't expect any more than the most basic of common courtesy. You sound kind of young, so you may not know this yet, but a real man who loves his woman is inspired to exert some effort to please his woman even if she says "Oh no, that's not necessary." Did you know that our young, charming, and handsome Admiral actually writes poetry for his GF?
_________________
"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper |
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hoshi
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 564
Location: At the best place of your dreams :D Loveland
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| Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| J@n@ wrote: |
| - i dont want other presents. the love he gives me is enough... |
Well that's true
_________________
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God gave us only one heart? Because He wants us to find the other one! |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 3:41 am Post subject: |
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| Bob S. wrote: |
| Well, words are cheap, and I'm sure he is quite happy to know he has a GF who is a cheap date and doesn't expect any more than the most basic of common courtesy. You sound kind of young, so you may not know this yet, but a real man who loves his woman is inspired to exert some effort to please his woman even if she says "Oh no, that's not necessary." Did you know that our young, charming, and handsome Admiral actually writes poetry for his GF? |
I second this very much. If your boyfriend doesn't make efforts for you, it's not hard to think that he won't pay much attention for you and he won't care about you etc. I try to see her at least once in two weeks, and I try to consider what to give her as present, with a lot of passion, of course. Try to remember what she told me, what she expects a boyfriend to do for her, (write poem for her wow, Bob S., you have a good memory!)...
But we have to pay attention to Jana's purpose-Does she really want to find a boyfriend, or does she just want to have some fun, because "having a boyfriend" is something new and adventurous in teenie age. Plus. Both search with the intention to have a boy/girlfriend as a trademark. In Western society having a boy/girlfriend shows that you are hot and desirable, if you don't have one, Western people will think you are too disqualified... And "a boyfriend" is changeable like clothes in the early highschool times...
However, with the time, and with seeing that you can only have fun with a "special" boyfriend and not just "someone", then you are in my situation. You have a feeling that she likes you giving presents to her, and you give something of you to her, your hobby, your talent, to make her happy.... You miss her a lot and you want to see her |
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J@n@
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:18 am Post subject: |
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hey...
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| GF who is a cheap date |
Thank you very much. No one ever told me that i'm kind of cheapy...
By the way: He ALWAYS wants to pay - if we eat something, if we drink a coffee.. and he does.. I just don't want him to pay my things, i don't want him to pay my things, if we go shopping - i just don't want it. Of course i like presents, of course i like it as he wants to pay - the idea is okay and i like it, but i just don't want to exploit him.
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| real man who loves his woman |
You say it as if you wouldn't believe that my boyfriend loves me. Do you want to make me unsure? well, keep on trying, i wish you good luck. And in my eyes my boyfriend is a man, of course he is male. What is a REAL MAN? Are you a real man? Then tell me what makes a man to a real man..!
[/quote]Admiral actually writes poetry for his GF?
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my boyfriend plays in a band and he writes songs about me. Well, he showed me one he wrote about me as we wasn't together.. "Song for you" ...
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I second this very much. If your boyfriend doesn't make efforts for you, it's not hard to think that he won't pay much attention for you and he won't care about you etc. I try to see her at least once in two weeks, and I try to consider what to give her as present, with a lot of passion, of course. Try to remember what she told me, what she expects a boyfriend to do for her, (write poem for her Laughing wow, Bob S., you have a good memory!)...
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Wow, what for a good boyfriend you are! congratulations to your girlfriend that she made you loving her and i wish you good luck with your real love..
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early highschool times
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I'm in year 10 in a German school - and soon i'll do my ABI - go to college.. it's college you go to in England and the USA before you can go to university, isn't it? so i think that i'm not in my early highschool years..
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Both search with the intention to have a boy/girlfriend as a trademark. In Western society having a boy/girlfriend shows that you are hot and desirable, if you don't have one, Western people will think you are too disqualified...
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Of course there are many people who just want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend because they think it's cool and their partners are kind of trophy .. There was a topic in our Englishbook about "Dating" and it was really superflicious. Girls had things to care about - for example, look pretty and be nice - and boys had so, too. Of course this kind of dating and having boyfriends and girlfriends can't be called love.
But i think i love my boyfriend. If it's love i feel - and i just don't know. How could i? I never felt like this before And i think i'm not only in love with having a boyfriend or being loved or his love..
Well, what is love? (our chemistryteacher said love is only a chemical reaction, but i think that's not romantic..) A feeling... wikipedia doesn't answer good enough.. i think everyone has to find his or her own answer.. and i'm trying hard to find my own.. |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:17 am Post subject: |
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So we are all very reassured that your boyfriend is not a trophy to you. And if you are in year 10 than it's quite normal to have dates etc., so we are all very happy for you now, especially me.
I want to say: Bob didn't mean that you are cheap, he only wanted to say that your boyfriend should be happy because he doesn't have to spend so much money for you. Here in eslcafe most people don't offend others, we are like a chaotic family, and the "administrator" (let's better say our caring advertisement-defender) Lorikeet is also very nice. If you still feel hurt or so you can discuss it here with us. It helps you to improve English.
Wow your boyfriend wrote a SONG for you? That's great! You know my girlfriend also just turned 18 so she is in similar age than you. So at the end we have the same situation. Haha wow well she is also singer so I wonder whether my gf will write one for me
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| Wow, what for a good boyfriend you are! congratulations to your girlfriend that she made you loving her and i wish you good luck with your real love.. |
Haha you should rather say it to your boyfriend than to me... How happy you are.
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| I'm in year 10 in a German school - and soon i'll do my ABI - go to college.. it's college you go to in England and the USA before you can go to university, isn't it? so i think that i'm not in my early highschool years.. |
I just had my Abi in a German school, and I haven't ever studied in England or America yet so I don't know about their educational system. Soo... sorry that I thought you were younger, we can only guess in the sentences we write to each other, there could be lot of misunderstandings. If you think it was an insult, I apologize very much. I thought you were younger but it turned out that my girlfriend is not much older than you.
Well what's love... I think if you are ready to share your time and effort with anybody, then you love somebody. |
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J@n@
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:00 am Post subject: |
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okay
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| If you still feel hurt or so you can discuss it here with us. Laughing |
Well, i didn't even feel hurt in the beginning.. I just wanted to know what he really meant and i think that it isn't easy to hurt people from such a distance. Or maybe it's even easier through written words, i don't know...
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| You know my girlfriend also just turned 18 so she is in similar age than you. |
I didn't say that I'm 18 - i'm 15 and soon will be 16. But a few guys in my class are also 18.. yes, she's really not much older than me - but what's age? Of course it counds as we're "young" - 10 years older or younger is a big difference... |
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