Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[reem]

Hi,
This the first time for me here. I wrote something about my self and i would be thankful if anyone can check my writing.

My name is Reem from UAE. I�m 19 years old. I�m a creative person. I like to be updated. My sister says that I�m clever too. She said that when I fix something at home or when I did something she couldn�t do. I�m also a social able. I like to sit with my family and friends. I go to their houses and vice versa and we enjoy our times for being together. Moreover, I like to meet new people from different countries. My dream is to visit all countries in the world, so I can learn about all cultures. May be one day my dream will be true! Who knows?

I�m a helpful person. I like to help people as much as I can because I�m sure that one day I will need them and they won�t be hesitated to be near me. Friends share their feelings and try to solve each other�s problems. A problem shred is a problem halved. This is the life; we have to help each other to live in easier life.

My weak point in my personality is being so kind person. My heart is as white as snow; it can�t hate or hart other people whatever they do to me. Unfortunately, people can deceive me easily. I believe every things say to me. Being forgiven person is my weak point too.

There are some habits I hate in people. I don�t like people who don�t keep their word, promise . I don�t like a person who doesn�t keep the appointment by being lateness. Some people don�t even show off. Another habit I don�t like in people is borrowing something and not returning it back. Smokers are another kind of people I don�t like. They not only hart them selves, but they also put the lives of others in danger.

My favorite hobby is learning other languages, especially the English language. There is no doubt that English language is very important nowadays. That�s why I�m trying my best to learn the English skills by reading English stories. One of the stories I have read recently is The Adventures of Charlock Holmes. ESL sites are also providing English learner with excellent exercises. Watching English movies and listening to the radio are helping me to improve my language too.
My favorite sports are swimming and tennis.

For me, living peacefully, in a worry free life is the most important thing.

[bud]

Hi Reem,

Welcome to the forum! Your essay is very well written. You are obviously at a very high level in your English studies. Please don't be alarmed at the amount of corrections - most of them are minor, and some are not corrections at all, but suggestions. Keep up the good work!


I wrote something about myself and I would be thankful if anyone can check my writing.

My name is Reem, from the UAE. (the comma is important here)

I like to be up-to-date.

My sister says that I�m clever, too. (only change is the comma)

She says that when I fix something at home or when I do something she can�t do. (keep your verb tenses consistent)

I�m also sociable.

I go to their houses, and vice versa, and we enjoy our times together. (note the 2 commas)

My dream is to visit all the countries in the world, so I can learn about all cultures.

Maybe one day my dream will be true! ('dream will be true' is correct, but much more usual is 'dream will come true')

I like to help people as much as I can because I�m sure that one day I will need them and they won�t be hesitant to be near me. ('to be near me' is correct, but 'to help me' is probably what you meant to say... Also, it is a very long sentence. You could replace 'and' with a period: "... need them. They won't be...")

A problem shared is a problem halved.

This is life; we have to help each other to live an easier life.

My weak point in my personality is being so kind a person. (I'm not crazy about the 'My... my' construction, although it is grammatical. You could change it to 'The... my" if you agree. Or delete 'in my personality' leaving 'My weak point is being...')

My heart is as white as snow; it can�t hate or hurt other people no matter what they do to me. ('white' is grammatical but has little meaning in this sentence. 'pure' is what you're trying to say, I think.)

I believe everything they say to me.

Being a forgiving person is my weak point, too. (comma... Also, you already mentioned 'my weak point' in another sentence. That implies one. You should change this to: '... is another weak point of mine.' )

I don�t like people who don�t keep their word, promise. (Use only one: word or promise. Either is good.)

I don�t like a person who doesn�t keep an appointment by being late.

Some people don�t even show up. ('to show off' is to act in a boastful way)

Another habit I don�t like in people is borrowing something and not returning it. ('not returning it' or 'not giving it back')

They not only hurt themselves, but they also put the lives of others in danger.

There is no doubt that English is very important nowadays.

That�s why I�m trying my best to learn English skills by reading English stories.

One of the stories I have read recently is The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

ESL sites are also providing the English learner with excellent exercises.

Watching English movies and listening to the radio are helping me to improve my language, too. (comma)

For me, living peacefully, in a worry-free life, is the most important thing. (added 3rd comma - 2nd and 3rd commas are optional, but if you use one, you must use the other, too.)

[reem]

Hi bud,

Thank you so very much for taking the time to help me. Your respond is really benefited me and I liked the way u corrected my mistakes. Clear explanations!

Truly, I appreciate your help.

[bud]

I'm glad it helped. Thanks for the kind words!