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welkins2139
Joined: 29 Mar 2006 Posts: 252
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:07 am Post subject: complex setences |
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A lot of people have been evacuated because the storm was too strong.
The arrest lead to the new trace of the death of the leader after the police interrogated him.
Are these complex setence OK?
Thank You |
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asterix
Joined: 26 Jan 2003 Posts: 1654
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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A lot of people have been evacuated because the storm was too strong.
This is OK
The arrest lead to the new trace of the death of the leader after the police interrogated him.
It is not clear what you are trying to say here, so it is not OK.
Did the police kill the leader?
Did an arrest lead to new information regarding the leader's death; or what? |
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welkins2139
Joined: 29 Mar 2006 Posts: 252
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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It is the arrest that lead to new information regarding the leader's death. How do I fix the sentence?
Thank you asterix |
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CP
Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Posts: 2875 Location: California
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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"It is the arrest that lead to new information regarding the leader's death."
First, "lead" is present tense, "led" is past tense, hence:
"It is the arrest that led to new information regarding the leader's death."
Second, you could throw out "It is" and "that" to streamline the sentence and make it more direct:
"The arrest led to new information regarding the leader's death."
Third, "regarding" just slows down the sentence, so:
"The arrest led to new information about the leader's death."
Like that better?
Yours truly, CP |
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asterix
Joined: 26 Jan 2003 Posts: 1654
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 7:30 am Post subject: |
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| I like it better - thanks CP. |
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