How to make friends abroad?

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lealea11
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:39 pm
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom

How to make friends abroad?

Post by lealea11 » Mon Nov 05, 2007 4:11 pm

I'm not entirely sure which forum to post this in, so I'm most likely going to be cross posting this a fair bit. Apologies if you see this more than once!

Essentially, I am thinking about doing my CELTA next year, and have been leaning predominantly towards the more economical option of studying for that here before jetting off after. However, I am slightly anxious that by not doing my CELTA in the country in which I intend to teach, I am denying myself a vital opportunity for making friends in that country. A teacher friend of mine in Madrid highly recommends spending the extra money and taking my CELTA in the country in which I intend to teach, as virtually her entire social life stems from her coursemates, and indeed she says that she doesn't know how she would have made friends otherwise as all the other teachers in her school are on quite different wavelengths, i.e. married with children and definitely not up for for exploring the highs of Madrid's party scene.

However, there must surely be other ways of forming a strong social network that I've not thought of, right? After all, people frequently take their CELTA in one country and then leave for another. If any of you ended up teaching in a different country to which you took your initial course, then I'd be extremely interested to hear your experiences-positive or negative-of building up a social network without a ready made group of coursemates. At the moment I'm wondering whether saving money by staying in the UK to take my CELTA will really stand me in good stead when the time comes to move abroad and find a new social life.

Cheers!

Sally Olsen
Posts: 1322
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 2:24 pm
Location: Canada,France, Brazil, Japan, Mongolia, Greenland, Canada, Mongolia, Ethiopia next

Post by Sally Olsen » Mon Nov 05, 2007 4:38 pm

I guess it depends what you are looking for in a social life. If you just want to continue your life but do it in a different country with people who are almost completey like you, then I would take a teaching course in another country. You will meet mostly English speaking people who have similar basic experiences in all the major parts of your life. They will be wonderful no doubt and just different enough from the various English speaking countries to be fascinating.

If you want to experience life of the people of the country though you will have to do things differently You will have to concentrate on learning about the country and the people who live there and give up time with English speaking friends. It may be lonely for the first few months until you are perceived as being genuine about wanting to experience the country's life and values. You will be tested because people have experienced foreign teachers trying to adapt to their culture but gradually slipping back to the expats around them. The foundations of your beliefs and values will be challenged and you have to learn their language. There will be what I call bridge friends to help you out no doubt. People who have made a foray into the English culture from their own and want to be with foreigners to learn English. They make the transition easier.

Either way you come out ahead with life long friends.

Think of your future and what you might want to accomplish. Do you want to be bilingual? Do you want more than just a holiday? Are you interested in becoming a global citizen? Do you want to be a teacher all your life? Do you want to continue your studies and become a professional in some part of this field? There is no rush to decide and you can have it all, but worth a little thought now and then.

lealea11
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:39 pm
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom

Post by lealea11 » Mon Nov 05, 2007 5:21 pm

Thank you for that very well thought out answer.

At present, I am thinking of simply doing a shorter term placement, so if you believe that it may take several months to make friends without that instant social life provided by coursemates, I can see that going it alone may not be the best option if I've only just started to settle in when the time comes to go home again. I do very much want the opportunity to live as a local, but I can see how that may not be as achievable over a placement span of four or five months. In the future I'd love to teach abroad for a good few years at a time, but for now this would most likely be a before uni type thing.l

You've given me some very valid sounding points to think about, mostly ones which have confirmed what my Madrid friend says and which were my original gut feelings to begin with.

Sally Olsen
Posts: 1322
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 2:24 pm
Location: Canada,France, Brazil, Japan, Mongolia, Greenland, Canada, Mongolia, Ethiopia next

Post by Sally Olsen » Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:09 am

If you are going with the first option, just let me encourage you to go with an open mind and open haert. Why go if you are just going to say this is not like or as good as home? Please try everything at least once as I used to tell my kids about the food on their plate. You will never know if you like it if you don't try it. Try to be a good ambassodor for your own country and don't pinch the fruit in the market or complain loudly about the poor service. Just take your business elsewhere and smile at the kids. If you can't be good be careful.

jestert79
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun May 01, 2005 5:45 am
Location: Florida

Post by jestert79 » Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:40 am

TEFL is a really nomadic life. I did my CELTA in Barcelona, and my coursemates were amazing, funny people. We had an incredible bonding experience, and I was especially close to my teaching practice group.

But then, job-hunting started. People starting fragmenting, looking for jobs at local language schools - I wanted legal work, but that's not a possibility in Spain for US citizens. So I took a job in Poland, with a fond farewell from my coursemates.

I'm still vaguely in touch with a few of the coursemates.

In the 1st year in Poland, I met a lot of amazing, funny people, and we had a bonding experience in being first year teachers. But then the semester was over, goodbyes were exchanged...

And I'm still in touch with many of them, but generally just with Facebook.

Anyway, my 2nd year in Poland, I met a lot of amazing, funny people - you get the point.

Now I'm in Vietnam. I've met some cool people.

It's hard to establish a firm, good-friend relationship with people in this career. If you want to have a good time with people, I'd suggest starting work in one of the places that are friendly to fresh CELTA graduates - you'll have fun as you compare stories about your first classes, complain about them, etc.

I do know that my CELTA mates that stayed in Spain did get along very well though.

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