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scot47
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343
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 Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 9:50 am Post subject: Living In A Foreign Land |
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For many of us in this business, part of the deal is pending long periods living abroad. Some people find that difficult to handle and never adjust.
I was reminded of this when one of my colleagues form student days had to spend an extended period in China in his 60s as part of a programme his employer was setting up. He had never spend extended periods abroad, apart from package holidays. He could not do it and kept asking me, "What is the s secret ?"
I had to confess that I do not know !
I feel that everyone should travel in youth and that it is good to spend a "Wanderjahr" somewhere weird and exotic.
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spiral78
Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 10:08 am Post subject: |
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I personally think that there is one key element that those of us who are successful at 'abroad' have: relatively high tolerance of ambiguity.
There are lots of other things that play a role, like ability to/interest in learning languages, tolerance of diversity, minimal attachment to the food and culture of home, and others, but IMO, tolerance of ambiguity is the common thread that runs through all the other qualities that help people to be reasonably comfortable living 'abroad.'
And I'm not so sure that any of the above can be taught or learned... |
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Hod
Joined: 28 Apr 2003
Posts: 1613
Location: Home
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 10:54 am Post subject: |
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Part of the "secret" is to reset your mind before getting off the plane. Too many people compare their host country with their homeland or previous posting, and there'll only be one loser there.
I remember being on the Butterworth - Penang ferry in Malaysia (pointlessly added country to avoid confusion with all the other Butterworth ferries in the world). A young western female approached (a common occurrence even now) and asked why I was in Malaysia. It turned out she was an English teacher in Bangkok and wasn't at all happy to be on a visa run to Malaysia when she knew "all about Thailand but not this dump". She hadn't even set foot on Malaysian soil but declared it a dump anyway. |
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bograt
Joined: 12 Nov 2014
Posts: 331
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 11:02 am Post subject: |
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| You can't really compare living abroad nowadays with what it was like pre-internet. Anyone can manage it nowadays with skype, downloads, youtube, facebook etc...Plus globalisation in access to food |
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scot47
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 11:14 am Post subject: |
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| "Local" has been destroyed. |
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MotherF
Joined: 07 Jun 2010
Posts: 1450
Location: 17�48'N 97�46'W
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 11:31 am Post subject: |
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A combination of what spiral and Bogart said.
Spiral's keeps the fatigue down and Bogarts allows you to manage that fatigue. I've seen a lot of people in Mexicotry to go full native, and they tend to burn out quickly. I've taken on quite a bit ofmexican-ness but I occasionally close the door to my house, and binge watch US TV shows while eating potato chips. |
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nomad soul
Joined: 31 Jan 2010
Posts: 11454
Location: The real world
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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| scot47 wrote: |
For many of us in this business, part of the deal is pending long periods living abroad. Some people find that difficult to handle and never adjust.
I was reminded of this when one of my colleagues form student days had to spend an extended period in China in his 60s as part of a programme his employer was setting up. He had never spend extended periods abroad, apart from package holidays. He could not do it and kept asking me, "What is the secret ?"
I had to confess that I do not know !
I feel that everyone should travel in youth and that it is good to spend a "Wanderjahr" somewhere weird and exotic. |
Traveling abroad certainly falls short compared to actually living as an expat.
How do your daughters fare? Like me, your girls probably adjusted well to living overseas as third-culture kids.
I was born outside the US, and by age 14, I'd lived in five different countries (as a US military dependent). That experience was a huge plus to overseas employers but has always been perceived as "too foreign" here in the US unless I meet others with similar experiences. Moreover, I always feel like a stranger in the US -- like I will never adjust, despite finishing my middle/high school education and living here for a few decades. Heading abroad to work felt natural to me, and not surprisingly, my culture shock was minimal and nothing like the reverse shock I experience when returning "home."
That said, I know some adults who have the soul of a nomad and seem to find their calling overseas in their later years. |
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scot47
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343
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| Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:25 am Post subject: |
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| My eldest never forgave me for leaving Saudi Arabia. Money, Shopping Malls and an American School ! What more should a young girl want ? |
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BadBeagleBad
Joined: 23 Aug 2010
Posts: 1186
Location: 24.18105,-103.25185
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| Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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| MotherF wrote: |
A combination of what spiral and Bogart said.
Spiral's keeps the fatigue down and Bogarts allows you to manage that fatigue. I've seen a lot of people in Mexicotry to go full native, and they tend to burn out quickly. I've taken on quite a bit ofmexican-ness but I occasionally close the door to my house, and binge watch US TV shows while eating potato chips. |
haha, yeah, what she said. I am not sure I qualify as an expat, being half Mexican and half Irish, but having lived many of my ¨formative years¨ (6-17then 19-26) but aside from that most of the rest of my life in Mexico. I think you have to just do what you like, what feels natural. There are aspects of both the US and Mexico that I enjoy, so I take those as part of me and leave¨the rest. I think regardless of where you live, if you are open minded you will find aspects of that culture that you enjoy and feel comfortable with, and aspects that you don´t. One thing for sure, if you constantly compare wherever you live to ¨home¨and ALWAYS feel that ¨home¨is superior in every way you will never be happy anywhere. I know a couple of people who are married to Mexicans who are like that and they are not happy living in Mexico. So I think you need to be adaptable and optimistic and open to new experiences to live in another country. I feel pretty equally comfortable in both countries, but there are aspects of both that I like and indentify with and aspects of both that I dislike and reject. So I think if you can look at each aspect of a place on a more personal level you can take it or leave it and be comfortable wherever you live. |
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Dr X
Joined: 04 Jul 2016
Posts: 84
Location: Everywhere
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| Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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| scot47 wrote: |
My eldest never forgave me for leaving Saudi Arabia. Money, Shopping Malls and an American School !
What more should a young girl want ? |
A boyfriend ..... but this is impossible and haram in the Magic Kingdom.  |
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scot47
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343
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| Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| She was too young for boyfriends. In fact where we loved - on Saudia City in Khaledi | |
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