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tedkarma
Joined: 17 May 2004
Posts: 1598
Location: The World is my Oyster
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 Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:06 am Post subject: |
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| Call me na�ve but I suggest you consider someone you fall in love with and find yourself compatible with � then worry all those other things. |
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Roger
Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 9138
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:22 am Post subject: |
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Two thoughts occurred to me:
This man is concerned about "tradition", by which he curiously seems to mean customs and habits that were "modern" for thousands of years before the Industrial Revolution - not sure if he can imagine that Asian traditions may vary slightly from the Judeo-Christian tradtions of old.
The other thought was: maybe he simply wants an infusion of fresh blood from a different source so as to upgrade his genetic pool. A designer of new mixed-blood ethnicities then! Crazy indeed! |
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Doglover
Joined: 14 Dec 2004
Posts: 305
Location: Kansai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:11 am Post subject: Re: Sounds CRAZY and definitely premature, but....... |
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| njitalian wrote: |
Iare japanese, or korean women more likely to marry outside of their very old cultures with an american guy? Poor sentence, I mean are Korean women more likely to try that with an american than Japanese women are? Is it easier to "break into" the Korean family's trust and confidence in order to marry their daughter, or is it easier in Japan?
I haven't even arrived in Asia yet, so this is way too early to be thinking about it, I know. I want to find a woman who wants to have kids and be a traditional wife and mother, NOT a woman who wants a yuppie-like career and would never be with my kids or taking care of the home. |
What do you mean by old culture? Young women in Tokyo or Osaka are just as modern as you are. Japan is a westernised country and women dont walk 3 feet behind their husband any more.
Speaking as a husband to a Japanese woman, international marriages though not common are accepted here, more so I think than in Korea. Because of the US, the military etc Americans are not seen in a positive light in Korea and women who marry outside their race I think experience problems in korean society. Thats just my guess. I dont think you will ever 100% be accepted by the in-laws because of who you are.
Have a look at this
http://www.kf.or.kr/newsletter/english/contents.asp?vol=49§ion=5&lang=English&no=538
Same happens in Japan, but not as bad. There are Japanese women who want to marry a caucasian (gaijin) , for want of a better word, but not always for the right reasons.
Without getting moralistic on you, if you are looking for the barefoot in the kitchen Asian beauty you are going to be disappointed. Many women now work, have their own income and can support themselves. they put off marriage so they can keep their jobs and travel.
If you are a foreigner coming to live here and marry a local, i hope you have a decent job and decent income to support her, as you will need more than a basic English teaching position to support a wife and kids. I have a wofe and kids here and my outgoings are about $4K a month.
Last edited by Doglover on Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:16 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Gordon
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:45 am Post subject: |
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Wow what a post! Perhaps you should try SE Asia as your description does not seem to describe many Korean or Japanese women. They are much too complex for you.
I'm with Ted, find the woman first.
You also seem pretty desperate. |
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marblez
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 248
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:07 am Post subject: |
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njitalian,
Most wives and mothers would LOVE to devote all their time to raising their children instead of working full-time.
Of course, the men that they marry do not have the kind of employment that would allow them to do this.
Then again, if you had any serious experience with women who were at the maturity level to marry, you would know this. Since you don't, it's obvious that you aren't in a position to get married. |
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Doglover
Joined: 14 Dec 2004
Posts: 305
Location: Kansai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:19 am Post subject: Re: Sounds CRAZY and definitely premature, but....... |
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| njitalian wrote: |
| I haven't even arrived in Asia yet, so this is way too early to be thinking about it, I know. I want to find a woman who wants to have kids and be a traditional wife and mother, NOT a woman who wants a yuppie-like career and would never be with my kids or taking care of the home. |
Its obvious you dont like yuppies (unless you want all the fun for yourself and not for her, talk about equality in a marriage) which is what most women here are looking for, a well educated, ambitious husband who has a good high-status job and can provide her and kids with her daily needs. Obviously such jobs are beneath you and you may have trouble finding a woman who will marry a man who doesnt have these qualities.
Second as someone pointed out, its next to impossible to support a family on one income these days, so often a working mother is a necessity, unless you earn enough that she doesnt need to work. This is not the 50's in America anymore with Dad being the primary breadwinner.
PS you will also find that Japanese women are different in many respects from Chinese and Korean women in terms of their upbringing and thinking, attitudes to marriage and careers so it may be a good idea to learn the differences in culture and language before lumping them all in the "Asian" category. |
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schwa
Joined: 12 Oct 2003
Posts: 164
Location: yap
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:47 am Post subject: |
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| You guys are being much too kind to this poster. He's fantasizing about a domestic slave & deserves a slapdown. Loser at home, seems pretty obvious. |
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Babala
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 1303
Location: Henan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:16 am Post subject: |
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