Job Discussion Forums

matador · Joined: 07 Mar 2003 Posts: 281

I have heard that so many people get depressed after leaving Japan because they had it so good. Then when they go home they are just an average Joe on mainstreet with a boring job and average money.

How do you overcome this depression.... Sad

sonician · Joined: 24 Jun 2003 Posts: 3

Hey,

I don't have experience with Japan (yet.. going in October with Nova), but I was in Peru for 6 months back in 1998. When I returned to Canada, I had a very hard time getting back to what's "normal" here.

It's fun for a bit cause everyone wants to hear your stories, and see your pictures. But after the initial rush, it's hard.. you return to a regular job, and a "regular" life.

The best situation is to have supportive friends and family around, ones who will listen to the same stories many times over, and for years to come Wink

I found that it took almost a year to re-adjust fully, but it was also my first time abroad.

Hope this helps in some way.

Thruster666 · Joined: 03 Jul 2003 Posts: 3

When I went to Japan, there was countless advice and warnings about having culture shock about living in Japan. But I found the reverse culture shock of returning to the US a much more profound experience.

After a few years of living in Japan and being displeased about a variety of things such as cigarette litter, bozozoku, bank hours, engines running while shopping etc.. I realized after returning to the US that these are relatively minor annoyances.

As much as you see Japanese taxi drivers sleeping in their taxis w/ the air conditioner on, here in the US you'll see apx. half of the vehicles on the roads are extremely large SUVs and trucks. These giant gas guzzling monstrosities avg. about 8-10 mpg, not to mention that they are impossible to see around if you're in a regular size car trying to see if cross traffic is coming. Also these giant behemoths alter the driving habits of their drivers. They feel invicible in these things and almost always tailgate smaller cars and swerve in out of lanes because of all the horsepower that these waste -tanks have. Americans have no qualms about producing 1/4 of the worlds pollution or even attempting to recycle.

As much as separating garbage in Japan was a pain-in-the-ass, it was for good purposes. We over here throw paper, plastic, food, batteries, animals, and glass into one big bag to be buried in our quickly growing dumps. We can recycle here, but I have to drive about 5 miles to the recyling station and it's usually closed when I get off of work. Hardly anyone I know recyles here.

Another depressant are the people themselves. There's no sense of shame here in the US as there is in Japan, so you see people acting like imbiciles everywhere in public. It's not uncommon to see guys in their 30's and 40's with their baseball caps on backwards throwing shit out the window of their 4-wheel drive monster trucks while peeling out and yelling profanities at people nearby. Mad

Not to mention the countless fights I've seen when more than 2 or 3 Americans get together - for any occassion. Forget about trying to have a Japanese style matsuri without a hundred cops bashing heads in order to keep the peace.

There are countless things I can mumble mumble about, but to answer the question as to what to do about your blues, here are a couple of things I can recommend.

(1) If you really enjoyed Japanese people - surround yourself with them.
There are pleny of Japanese ex-pats living here in the US, esp. California & NYC, and hook up with them.
(2) Take a Japanese person home with you and show her/him to all of your friends and family. Wink

(3) Travel incessantly! Within the US, and even better, outside the US. This always helps keep things in perspective.
(4) Go back to Japan! Idea

PS. Don't talk to your homeland friends about Japan toooo much. Talking about J-Land is cool sometimes but don't overdo it - cuz if you do your friends won't be your friends no more.

M.K. · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:19 pm Post subject:

I get depressed even just coming back from a vacation! There's all this buildup and preparation, then you have these amazing experiences while you're there (amazing can encompass both good and bad), then you return "home" and it's fun at first to show your pictures and tell your stories. But really quickly you'll figure out your friends are sick of hearing "when I was in (insert country here)..." It is a big letdown when you're in that state of feeling like there's nothing to anticipate anymore. I find the blues wear off after several days, but granted I've nnever lived away from home for more than a couple weeks. When I leave for my first teaching job next month (YES, I am a newbie), I'm sure I'll experience the whole range of emotions. Kind of seems like it will be a thrilling roller-coaster though if you ask me. The way I see it, the "ups" aren't really ups unless you also have the "downs". Very Happy

Celeste · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:53 pm Post subject:

Re-entry shock is normal. Some good ways to deal with it involve not relying on your old friends to much. Your old friends expect you to be exactly the same as when you left. Having lived for a year or more in another country, you will be profoundly different. I'm not saying ditch your old friends, but it is a good time to try a new hobby or join a new club so you can meet people who will accept the new you more readily.

tjpnz2000 · Joined: 22 May 2003 Posts: 118 Location: Japan

Last year I went on vacation to London after about 1 year in Japan. I met up with a 2 friends (a couple) who I had met in Japan and were now living in London after about a year.

I said ``Guys I have lost all my social skills! I can't make small talk in English anymore! All I say is `This is sooo different from Japan, in Japan we....` and nobody seems that interested after teh first 5 minuets``

Thier response was `Thank GOD! We thought it was just US!`

My advice would be to find and interest or hobby so that you don't constantly talk about Japan.

T

Guest · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 8:03 am Post subject:

After leaving Japan everything back home seems so average. Several months on I still feel like I'd rather be in Japan. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself saying in Japan this... Japan that.... because friends tire of it, but I can't just pretend that it didn't happen. New hobbies and friends are definitely a good idea and stop you from becoming what might be seen as Japan obsessed. Above all the worst thing you can do is stagnate when you get home and realise you have no job, have lost contact with friends and the ones you kept in touch with you don't feel like you know any more. Use your momentum either to move on somewhere new or else move on in your life.

sonician · Joined: 24 Jun 2003 Posts: 3

Heh.. having lived in Peru, Boston, western Canada and Ottawa, I've done this very thing each time I return home.. I still do it sometimes, and it always upsets the people I'm with.. I wish they could understand sometimes..