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Gaijin & Gaijin
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nomadder



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 709
Location: Somewherebetweenhereandthere

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:36 am    Post subject: Gaijin & Gaijin Reply with quote

Wondering how many people know of gaijin (or gaikokujin) who have met and dated long term or married other gaijin while in Japan. I can think of about one couple, now married. He's German and neither ever dated Japanese. He said he wanted deep convos not possible with Jwomen. He wasn't an English teacher obviously.

Wondering how often it happens as I've done the Jboy dating scene and it would take a very rare type to peak my interest now. I've seen other types of foreigners who gravitate to each other while abroad but unfortunately it doesn't always(often?) happen for anglos. Either it's the nature of the beast or the fact that we can usually find someone who speaks our lingo well enough.
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Sweetsee



Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Posts: 2302
Location: ) is everything

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Was married for seven years with a Spaniard but can't think of a single other g/g couple. Now enjoying domestic bliss with a Japanese national raised in England. Life is good.
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nomadder



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 709
Location: Somewherebetweenhereandthere

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes Sweetsee this is the rare type I'm talking about. Good for you.
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Sweetsee



Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Posts: 2302
Location: ) is everything

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You mean meeting a native that speaks English with a British accent? Yeah it is sweet, you get all the benefits of J-nationality with the western mind-set.

Thanks Nomadder,
s

P.S. Cool avatar!
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nomadder



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 709
Location: Somewherebetweenhereandthere

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

See below.

Last edited by nomadder on Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:09 am; edited 1 time in total
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nomadder



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 709
Location: Somewherebetweenhereandthere

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey does he have a brother? Wink

That sounds great. I could learn to like the British accent again. Hopefully without all the drinking/anger issues. Sorry but you Brits know it's true. Otherwise you would've stayed home and taken "holidays".
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kdynamic



Joined: 05 Nov 2005
Posts: 562
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It happens all the time! I know an American and a Brit (engaged), an Irish girl with a Canadian, Canadian on Canadian, a pair of Brits and a pair of Americans who are from the same town in Georgia but didn't meet until they got here. And I just started seeing a Korean guy (I'm American)... Does Korean count in the same catagory? Well anyway, the point is it isn't rare. I mean, it seems like a no-brainer, since people who chose to come here obviously have at least some interests in common, and it's far easier to seriously date someone if you share a culture and language. Me, I go for the Asian guys but if I wanted a white boy I could have one easily.
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Jazz1975



Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 301
Location: Zama, Kanagawa

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not there yet, but I see myself with another "gaijin" due to the shared language and culture and possibly other interests as well. That, plus the fact that Asian men seriously DO NOT turn me on. Laughing
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wolfman



Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 189

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

as a single american guy with a thing for irish girls... this thread fascinates me

Very Happy
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Apsara



Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 2142
Location: Tokyo, Japan

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My Welsh friend met and married an American in Japan a few years back. She was an eikaiwa teacher, he was civilian IT staff on the Yokosuka base. They continued living here for several years after getting married, and now live in England.

I (a Kiwi) dated a couple of gaijin guys (separately) here, but ended up marrying a Japanese. This in spite of having the same views as Jazz1975 when I arrived!
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6810



Joined: 16 Nov 2003
Posts: 309

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:34 am    Post subject: Re: Gaijin & Gaijin Reply with quote

nomadder wrote:
He said he wanted deep convos not possible with Jwomen.


Actually learning the language of the land you live in, in my opinion, significantly increases the possibility of having "deep convos" with the people living there... Cool
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abufletcher



Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 779
Location: Shikoku Japan (for now)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 6:38 am    Post subject: Re: Gaijin & Gaijin Reply with quote

6810 wrote:
Actually learning the language of the land you live in, in my opinion, significantly increases the possibility of having "deep convos" with the people living there... Cool


After 25 years of marriage to a wonderful Mexican woman, I speak Spanish and she speaks English. We each speak each other's language well enough to be considered "conversationally fluent to a high degree." I'm a published writer in Spanish as well. This does not, however, commonly lead to "deep convos" (gotta love those Aussie -o words!) in either English or Spanish. Confused
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6810



Joined: 16 Nov 2003
Posts: 309

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 6:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess it depends on...

a. How you define a "deep convo"

b. What you are trying to get out of said "convo"

c. Why you're having the "convo"

d. If you even need the "convo"

My $0.02 Wink
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luckyloser700



Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 308
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jazz1975 wrote:
Not there yet, but I see myself with another "gaijin" due to the shared language and culture and possibly other interests as well. That, plus the fact that Asian men seriously DO NOT turn me on. Laughing


Oh my god, Jazz! You're planning on coming here for a year or more? I'm sure you're a strong, independent, woman who can survive without a man in her life. But, if you're young (which you are) and even occasionally like to date, aren't you worried about ending up not dating for a year or more? I've known plenty of foreign female teachers here who say they don't have an interest in Asian guys and ended up not dating at all because they got assigned to a school in a smaller town and the few foreign guys that were there usually ended up dating Japanese women exclusively. I can't speak for all male foreign teachers, but most of the ones I know stayed away from female foreign teachers. Of course, foreigners dating foreigners happens, but I think you risk not dating at all for a long time if you're not open to the possibility of dating an Asian guy.
If you can get assigned to a school in a big city, I don't think this will be a problem. Hope it works out for you. Wink
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Jazz1975



Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 301
Location: Zama, Kanagawa

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

luckyloser700 wrote:
Oh my god, Jazz! You're planning on coming here for a year or more? I'm sure you're a strong, independent, woman who can survive without a man in her life. But, if you're young (which you are) and even occasionally like to date, aren't you worried about ending up not dating for a year or more? I've known plenty of foreign female teachers here who say they don't have an interest in Asian guys and ended up not dating at all because they got assigned to a school in a smaller town and the few foreign guys that were there usually ended up dating Japanese women exclusively. I can't speak for all male foreign teachers, but most of the ones I know stayed away from female foreign teachers. Of course, foreigners dating foreigners happens, but I think you risk not dating at all for a long time if you're not open to the possibility of dating an Asian guy.
If you can get assigned to a school in a big city, I don't think this will be a problem. Hope it works out for you. Wink


Well hello again Luckyloser! Very Happy . Let me first say that I'm not as young as you think I am (Hint: Look carefully at my name). You're right about one thing though: Dating is not high on my list of priorities. HOWEVER! That said, I wouldn't mind dating occasionally. As for WHO I'd like to date, there are PLENTY of foreign men who are NOT teachers and I am planning to be assigned somewhere in Tokyo (at least that's what I'm listing as my preference on my application form). So, as you said, it won't be a problem; I'm sure whichever school I end up with will be happy to accomodate me. Right now, I'm just focussed on getting in. Dating is the furthest thing from my mind. Really and truly, my preference of NOT wanting to date Asian men is really not as big of an issue as everyone on here seems to think it is Wink . I'll be fine Smile .
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