Job Discussion Forums

[Gordon]

I wouldn't advise you to lie to your wife, but you don't always have to be entirely truthful. If you think your wife happens to look fat one day, will you tell her?

Every woman is sensitive about various things and has weaknesses, like all of us. By now, you should know your wife is sensitive about what she buys you or about clothes, so be a bit more aware about what you say. I'm not defending her, but you should have known better.

I also agree this is not a cultural issue. My wife is Canadian like I am and I could see her taking offence to something similar, though to a lesser degree.

[Sour Grape]

There might well be deeper marital problems, but that tie conversation sounds like it took place while she was having a woman's period.

[azarashi sushi]

[Apsara]

I just wanted to point out that he didn't say it wasn't his favourite tie, he said Doraemon wasn't his favourite animation figure. That's all.

[nonsmoker]

Just pretend you like the tie and wear it until you walk out the door and out of sight, then change ties with the one you've secretly tied to your thigh.

[shuize]

[gaijinalways]

azarashi sushi and
shuize

Ugh, but I actually like the tie, as quoted I said it has an animation charatcer that is not my favorite. I alo have a snoopy tie as well. And no, for my job, it doesn't make any difference, generally a tie is a tie, except when it is one your wife bought .

[Gordon]

I find the Japanese can be amazingly blunt. They'll say "oh, you've gotten fat" or "your haircut makes you look old".

[shuize]

[gaijinalways]

[Vince]

[Quibby84]

I dont see why just because she bought it for you it has to be your favorite, and I dont see why it not being your favorite would bother her so much...BUT I do see her being over emotional because her hormones are out of control...
My husband and I have a really good relationship but there have been times when I have gotten angry over the stupidest things and later I dont even know why I was angry, my hormones take control of my body...
This may be what is with your wife....but it can only be what is wrong with your wife if she does it only once a month...If this is what is wrong with your wife then the only thing you can do is let things slide for a week or so....

[Sage]

My girl got my a tie for X-Mas that I was sort of bland to. I liked it cause she got it for me but I didn't really like the style...


The first time I wore it to work I had two people ask me where I got it and how much it cost. That made me feel great! It reminded me how important honmei is. It's the love behind the present not what the present it self is.

[nonsmoker]

[J.]

Yeah , women are the only ones at the mercy of their raging hormones. And yet, strangely, we commit far fewer murders. Must be our hormones.

About the only one making a lick o' sense here is the poster who said try to treat your wife like a person who is upset, not a woman who is upset. Instead of worrying about how to avoid the argument and sweep the whole thing under the carpet, as some of the less enlightened have suggested, ( and which will only increase the frustration not diffuse it ) ask her what's wrong and allow her to talk, and listen to her. Then after you have listened, you can reassure her, apologize for seeming insensitive, if that is the case, or just reiterate that since the two of you probably have some cultural differences in your communication styles, you will have to be more patient than average with each other, and tell each other when you cross over the line, and of course you are willing to do this because you value your wonderful relationship. And then, as soon as possible, do something meaningful together that you both enjoy, and have some fun! (For example, go out to a movie.)

You have my respect and empathy because I think you and your wife have earned it after nine years of doing something right!!! And hey, if you're a guy who' s willing to wear her Doraemon ties, she's got herself a prince.