Job Discussion Forums

[girlcabbie]

Ok, ladies, not to go all Cosmo or anything, but anyone have dating experiences they can share here?
Good, bad or funny? What cultural pitfalls to avoid? Words of wisdom?

[Samantha]

That's a pretty broad question....Not all guys are created equal. That especially does apply to Mexico, where the cultural differences are plenty and take much time to learn! (I speak from experience, still learning after 8 years of marriage!). I have seen way too many broken hearts and empty wallets in my years living in a tourist area. It's not really something anyone can give advice on, except to say, don't throw your dating rulebook out the window, especially in a Mexican beach town where the locals work with tourists and where they learn some pretty good lines, in English, early on. Their livelihood depends on it. If you are just passing through and want to have fun, there will be no shortage of guys who will allow foreign women to buy them cervesas!

[Guy Courchesne]

My only bit of advice on this is to mention that it's quite common for married men here to have affairs. That's not saying it's acceptable...just common. A little heads-up to you.

[MO39]

Another bit of advice, from recent personal experience, is that many Mexican men talk a good line but being honest about how they feel about you is not one of their finest qualities. Apologies to all sincere Mexican men who may be reading this post!

[Mrs L]

I would agree with Samantha about not throwing the rule book out of the window. Take the same precautions you would at home and don't get carried away just because the sun is shining and it all seems romantic. If a guy seems like he's too good to be true he probably is, and you have to be careful that men giving you attention aren't just interested in every foreign girl because they think they're easy, rich, or both. Time will tell if a man is genuine or not.

As for what Guy said about married men, it's true. Lots of Mexican men don't wear wedding rings, and any 'single' men you meet at parties could have a wife tucked away at home that they're not telling you about.

Don't let any of this put you off though, get out there and have some fun!!

[TheLongWayHome]

[Samantha]

LWH wrote:

[MELEE]

The only thing I'd add is to go above and beyond what you would normally do to make sure that both of you are on the same page, relationship wise. What the typical gringa would take as a friendly chat with a guy you just met, he may very well think he's already made it to first base!

I certain I know several Mexican married men who have never cheated. (My own husband included).

No matter what the nationality, every women deserves a partner who is as committed to her as she is to him (or her if that's her fancy.) Do not accept anything less.

[MO39]

[geaaronson]

It has been a very open subject in several of my English classes and students will bring it up without my prompting their doing so. In one class students openly talked about the infidelities of a married student who was casting his net about looking for an amante with the student in question present to overhear their conversation. This was done with only minor embarrassment to the student in question.
I�ve had a company vicepresident discuss for an hour how sexy his wife was, go on to talk about how attractive other women are, finish class and walk over to an attractive secretary, flirt with her and come up to me again while I am departing and brag that it would be only a matter of time before the woman would succumb to his charms.

[TheLongWayHome]

[bje]

[Sounds like nearly every company class I've ever had. Worse when they start talking about business trips. I'm still amazed at how men can talk about their wife and kids, and in the same breath talk about amantes and whatnot. And the bragging? What is that about?[/quote]

Possibly no more than the customary 'ego'....yawn...

[geaaronson]

I have to question some of the experiences that some of my female gringo friends have and what prompted them. In some cases, they have been women who are particularly vulnerable to charm and flattery, quite often the mark of a predatory male. It�s easy for some males, Mexican and otherwise, to make themselves attractive with their ease at verbal skills. It is to their extreme advantage in their conquest of members of the other sex to be engagingly flirty or charmingly lavish in praise and compliments.

Some women see this for what it is, so much bs with a single purpose in mind. Such women seek men who are more substantial, faithful, less flattering and more truthful, even the mildly critical kind. Lower the ego level on both sides and you will end up with a more intimate relationship.

Such comments aside, yes, there is a more open display and acceptance of the wandering eye in Mexican culture than elsewhere. In the U.S. the cheated upon wife gets quick revenge. She gets the house, the IRA, the kids, the car, the swimming pool, etc. etc. leaving the poor male who could not keep his pecker in his pants financially distraught. The American male has to keep his pecadillos below the radar. He can�t afford to tell his co-worker, his bar friends, his siblings about his sexual affairs. Who knows among all his confidantes which will blow the whistle, scoop the ex-wife and his hard earned assets. You would have to be a fool in the states to brag about your sexual exploits unless your assets were nonexistent.

[leslie]

Bye

[MO39]