Job Discussion Forums

[Samantha]

Mo 39 wrote:

[Guy Courchesne]

Stats would be hard to come by in any country. I'm going on what I've been told by married Mexican men, with far more frequency than back in Canada.

Think about it this way..do we have an expression such as casa chica, casa grande in English? If you haven't heard it, it refers to the married man who maintains both the big house (the first wife and the kids) and the little house, where he keeps his mistress. The same story has been repeated to me often enough that I don't believe these men have simply been telling tall tales.

[Samantha]

Up north, I think it's known as alimony and child support and applies to as many woman and children you have left behind, not necessarily restricted to two households.

[MO39]

[Samantha]

I guess it's I who has to get out more often, after all. I wasn't aware that "The Mistress" was not alive and well any longer in the good ole USA or Canada or anywhere besides Mexico. Mia Culpa. Seriously you guys.


P.S. I do know a few gringas here who have Mexican "pool boys", and one or two of them are married. But they do pay them, so I guess that�s not a valid comparison either.

[Guy Courchesne]

No, I wouldn't say the same thing isn't going on everywhere else in the world, to be sure. Caught an article online some time back that demonstrated through genetic testing that a full third of Irish children were not fathered by the guy that thought he had. So, the ladies are just as guilty as the guys...they just don't yak about it.

For me, it's more about the ease with which Mexican men will talk about cheating. Could be Canadian guys are just as bad, but I have no Canadian male friend who would dare brag about it.

One Mexico City accountant I had as a student several years back was telling me all about his wife and his mistress, both maintained in different houses. He then produced a set of architectural plans for the house he was having built in Puebla for yet another mistress he was maintaining there, proudly taking me through the drafts.

[Samantha]

That's interesting about Ireland. Could green beer have anything to do with that?

Maybe that Mexico City accountant knows those politicians in the USA who recently had to fess up publicly about their extra curricular women, embarrassing their wives who probably put them through law school. Much more attention-grabbing than bragging to friends....Go large or stay home I always say!

[MO39]

[Samantha]

I politely disagree. That would be generalizing and stereotyping. Insecure men (and women) everywhere, including gringos, brag about their conquests and their perceived "attributes" simply out of the need for attention, and to convince you what a hot catch they are. It doesn't mean it's TRUE, for it's usually not. Good grief.

[MO39]

Yes, Samantha, I guess we'll both have to politely agree to disagree on this one. We're coming at this question from different experiences, so naturally we're going to have different answers to the OP's initial questions about what it's like to date Mexican men. I congratulate you on having found a great guy to marry and make a life with!

[MikeySaid]

I think the issue of infidelity in Mexico vs. Canada and the US boils down to cultural expectations and acceptance.

Gender (besides the biology of it) is essentially a social construct and every society has differing opinions on what it means to be a man or a woman. While I don't have the time or the patience to dig up statistics verifying my assumptions, I am confident that Mexican society looks at unfaithful men with less disdain than American culture does at the same men. Why? I'm not going to get into it without asking my wife the anthropologist first.

However, I have noticed that in middle-class and upper-class Mexico, divorced people are viewed in a much more negative light than divorced people on the other side of the Rio Bravo. Perhaps greater acceptance of male infidelity in Mexico comes from a longstanding relationship with the Vatican and its disapproval of divorce--leading women stuck having to tolerate their husbands' fooling ways. Economics and social class surely play a part as well because many (most) married women here in Mexico rely on their husbands' income to maintain their lifestyles, and even those who earn well on their own would likely be putting their social standing at risk by publicly admitting the failure of their marriage and ending the relationship.

[El Gallo]

Mexican men cheat on their wives no more than men anywhere else - they are just more open about it.

[El Gallo]

With the heterosexual spread of AIDS and other STD's, an interesting twist on this conversation is how Mexican men define homosexuality. My gay friend tells me that many Mexican men don't regard being "activo" in a gay relationship as being gay, while if a man is "passivo", he is scorned by society and the very "activo" men that have their way with him. Part of cheating on the wife with this attitude is maybe a young male "amante" on the side.

In Anglo cultures both the active and passive member of a gay relationship are considered gay. Is the definition different in Latin cultures or just another stereotype?

[MO39]

[MO39]