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To those who DON'T have kids
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Do you wanna have kids?
I'm male and I want kids.
26%
 26%  [ 30 ]
I'm female and I want kids.
13%
 13%  [ 15 ]
I'm male and I don't know if I want kids.
15%
 15%  [ 17 ]
I'm female and I don't know if I want kids.
8%
 8%  [ 10 ]
I'm male and I don't want kids.
22%
 22%  [ 25 ]
I'm female and I don't want kids
13%
 13%  [ 15 ]
Total Votes : 112

Author Message
SuperFly



Joined: 09 Jul 2003
Location: In the doghouse

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Visited a friend back east over the holiday, has 2 daughters ages 1 and 3.

This is not the same man I went to college with....he's changed dramatically in the past few years...In his own words,
Quote:
When you have kids, life as you knew it, is OVER. Whole new ball game. I have a whole new respect for my parents now...
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Badgie



Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Location: Stuck in idle mode

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm Female and ticked the "I don't know" button.

I is a development of late that having a child or two doesn't sound like a tragedy in the making. I will admit that everyone getting sprogged up and popping out adorable little gents over then last two years has given me a sort of curiosity to see what I could do, however, I remain in the undecided category because I know that I have no desire to be a mum on my own. I have a fantastic father (mum is rather nice too). He was very involved in my life and the lives of all the other kids. I wouldn't want my child to go without a daddy's love and attention. You see the hurt in people when their dad eff's off and abandons them. This is perhaps is a weak and bitter sounding thing to say, but I don't want to go it alone. That thought just scares me. A man buggering off and leaving a woman is a minor drama, leaving his kids is criminal. A kid deserves better than that. If I was sure that the prospective dad would always want his kid, regardless of how he felt about me, I think that I would seriously consider motherhood.
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rockstarsmooth



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 6:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm female, i want kids.
i sure do want kids! my wife and i are planning on getting a couple of kids, 2 or 3, over the next few years, once i'm settled down enough to return home. we'll be adopting, i can't have kids, she doesn't really want to pop one out, and there are too many kids on the planet already without families. i really like kids, i've got names picked out, and i am always so envious of my pregnant friends. i'm 32, so my clock is ticking away ~ i want them now! but my wife is only 26, so she's not as keen as i am, she's not feeling any particular pressure. it'll happen, eventually.
rss Cool



Arrow right now i'm listening to: wolf parade - we built another world
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peony



Joined: 30 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

my clock is definitely ticking as im 31 and feel like 35 should be my deadline for making babies.. but alas, im unmarried and to be honest dont want to start for at least 2 years because i feel like i havent travelled enough to settle down yet
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Young FRANKenstein



Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)

PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lizara wrote:
Female, don't want kids. If I married a man who really wanted them I'd have some...maybe one or two, that is....

Male, don't want kids, and went so far as to have it permanently taken care of years ago. If I dated a woman who wanted kids, that's a deal breaker. If I dated a woman who wasn't sure, I'd tell her straight up we could date as long as she didn't want kids, and if she decides later on that she does, that's a deal breaker.

It's got nothing to do with money or social issues or whatever. I just happen to know my own limits. The last thing I want to do is become my parents and screw up yet another generation... I can be an awesomely cool uncle to my nephew, but if I ever had to have my own? I'd end up in prison for doing a Susan Smith.
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aldershot



Joined: 17 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:27 am    Post subject: Re: To those who DON'T have kids Reply with quote

SPINOZA wrote:
Giorgas' 'Child Wanted' thread got me thinking.

I wanna have a child and pretty soon too. If I've not had a child in 10 years (when I'm 37) I know I'll be very depressed. I'm an incomplete individual. I know that reproducing will make me feel complete. It's my natural duty to spread my fabulous transcendent warrior genes. Love, romance and marriage are all well and good, but to me they are a vehicle to having a kid, a means to an end.

I want a daughter. Obviously I wouldn't be disappointed with a son - that's horrible - but it's pointless me denying to myself that a girl would be preferable. I'm clueless when it comes to guys, having never met my father and being raised by a single mother - no sibblings. I've always wished I had a sister.

If I looked into a crystal ball and saw that I lead a daughterless life, I wouldn't want to live. It's my only goal. I have tunnel vision. It's an obsession. Adoption isn't an option because child has to be SPIN's own flesh and blood. I want to look another human life in the eye and say to myself "this person came from my sperm".

See poll.


have you gotten a girlfriend yet? baby steps, amigo.
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aldershot



Joined: 17 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

and it is mad the amount of dudes wanting babies. i'm guessing the typical expat female voice is one of independence. good on it!!
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Manner of Speaking



Joined: 09 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I honestly don't think having kids is in the cards for me, and I've felt that way since a young age. I respect anyone who does decide that they want to start a family, and certainly wish them every happiness; live and let live, as they say.

But one thing I do despise...people who are absolutely convinced the only way to live is to have kids, and who think that people who differ from them are somehow...immature, irresponsible, selfish, or somehow don't have their personal act together. A few years ago I saw a movie with Hugh Grant called About A Boy...if any of you have ever seen it, it's very offensive. It brands people who are uninterested in having children as absolute losers. Even though the lead female in the movie was a total screwup who depended on everyone around her just to function - even her kid!
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Big_Bird



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

peony wrote:
my clock is definitely ticking as im 31 and feel like 35 should be my deadline for making babies.. but alas, im unmarried and to be honest dont want to start for at least 2 years because i feel like i havent travelled enough to settle down yet


I was reading an article the other day. Basically, you should find out how old your mum was when she went through menopause. Then count back 10 years. That is the point when your fertility will markedly decline. So if you're mum went through menopause at an early age (say 42) your fertility will rapidly decline at 32. In that case, you'd need to get cracking! Or start saving for IVF treatment! If your mum went through menopause in her mid 50s, you can relax a bit more.
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Big_Bird



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to envy people who knew for sure if they wanted them or not. I was never very sure. If they happen they happen, I said. And they happened.
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ChimpumCallao



Joined: 17 May 2005
Location: your mom

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big_Bird wrote:
peony wrote:
my clock is definitely ticking as im 31 and feel like 35 should be my deadline for making babies.. but alas, im unmarried and to be honest dont want to start for at least 2 years because i feel like i havent travelled enough to settle down yet


I was reading an article the other day. Basically, you should find out how old your mum was when she went through menopause. Then count back 10 years. That is the point when your fertility will markedly decline. So if you're mum went through menopause at an early age (say 42) your fertility will rapidly decline at 32. In that case, you'd need to get cracking! Or start saving for IVF treatment! If your mum went through menopause in her mid 50s, you can relax a bit more.


For real?? This is great news! My mom is 46 and still as PMS-y as ever.

Im so happy I get to be DINKS for much much longer.

This was great advice, Big Bird! THANKS!
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Satori



Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MissSeoul wrote:
I have a young daughter.
I can't think life without her, she is everything to me.

Just like most korean, I wanted a son ( not daughter ), but now I am really thankful that I have a daughter.

I am one of 5 children to my parent, when I was young I thought I have too many sibling, but now everyone married ( I am a youngest ) and live everywhere ( North America, Latin America and korea ), we don't often see each other. Still we are very close.

If you have children, try to have at least 2 kids.
I wish I have 2 kids.

You dont have a daughter, you dont have a husband. That is because you are not female, and not Korean. You`re a single white male, probably over weight, bored, and definitely boring. Everyone on here know this, so do you persist?
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numazawa



Joined: 20 Mar 2005
Location: The Concrete Barnyard

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meanwhile, researchers at the Numazawa Institute of Reproductive Hydraulics and Controlled Demolition have stepped up their work on the vexing problem of chatboard pejorative hierarchies, which hinges on the key question: Which is the more grievous insult? -- "You're not a real person!" or "You're an idiot (and a real one, no less)!"

A great deal of effort has been applied in pursuit of a synthetic substitute for these fractured, semi-posteriorated locutions. So far, in controlled experiments, researchers have had mixed success with, "You're virtually unintelligible!" and "You're not even here, stupid!" and, in the most esoteric example yet, distilled from a transformational hermeneutics perspective, "But you're a bridge troll! HAHAHAHA!!1"
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ariellowen



Joined: 19 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can put me down for yes, children wanted.
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Cheonmunka



Joined: 04 Jun 2004

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I want to use rollercoaster as a metaphor for family.
Raising children, as a father (or a mother after the birth pains have susided) is like being a rollercoaster manager.
He has a slow one that doesn't twist around so much. But, the children are always looking for (and seem to need - in their determined eyes) an upgrade. All he can do is keep the old one under constant repair and keep feeling like he's a poor man who can only but keep the foundations in good order. Beyond that he can't really make much more of things.

That's the thing with raising a family. He will always feel like he has his lot in life. But, little issues like not getting a promotion or something, will be swept away and forgotten in an abundance of love by strange little people who as it turns out and despite their complaints actually enjoy the ride.
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