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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 12:02 am Post subject: Attractive Adult Students |
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Have any of you been in a situation where one of your adult students was an amazing, cute, sweet, and amazingly attractive femme? It is hard not to notice your beauty and warmth and her being single. Of course, my job is being the teacher. I am friendly, but I've got a job to do. I can't say that I don't feel any warm feelings since I do. She doesn't know that much English, but she is learning rapidly.
I always like to be professional and not mix work with the thinking of a man.
Just wondering if anyone has been through these thoughts whether you are a male or female. |
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mateomiguel
Joined: 16 May 2005
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 12:21 am Post subject: |
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um...
yes.
once and I was a professional about it. Boring story, nothing happened. said i'd never do that again.
other times I was all "lets meet after class" about it, no bad consequences, sometimes awesome results.
I advise you to make your move, take advantage as much as possible, and you can both enjoy yourselves. Also, maybe I'm a big nerd, but its freakin awesome for me to hear, "you're my teacher, I'll do whatever you say. teach me." and they're not talkin about english! |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 12:39 am Post subject: |
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There's a particular relationship between a teacher and student and it's wrong for a teacher to make advances on a student. That said, hakwons aren't exactly the pillar of education so if you don't respect the business/field/company, knock your desperate self out.
And yes, I have been attracted to students. But never enough to do anything. |
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:09 am Post subject: |
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RACETRAITOR wrote: |
There's a particular relationship between a teacher and student and it's wrong for a teacher to make advances on a student. That said, hakwons aren't exactly the pillar of education so if you don't respect the business/field/company, knock your desperate self out.
And yes, I have been attracted to students. But never enough to do anything. |
I understand that it is wrong. What if the student makes the move, and you are not the one who initiates and just stay professional. What then? She maybe be able to tell that I think she is pretty awesome. I am not desperate. It is just that she is very nice, sweet, desirable, and she longs for companionship. I think the Korean men might be blind to her beautiful looks and charms. I am trying my best to avoid this, so I am not saying anything beyond being nice and complimentary to the student.
She does know I think she is pretty. I didn't suggest going to the movies or meeting after class or something. One of my Korean co-workers mentioned the idea of us three getting together and hanging out. I suppose that is harmless as it is going out as friends. |
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thebum

Joined: 09 Jan 2005 Location: North Korea
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:17 am Post subject: |
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they're adults. they can make decisions for themselves. who cares? go for it! i think people need to get it on more anyway. |
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SuperFly

Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:49 am Post subject: |
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We dogs have an expression, not sure if you humans ever heard of it.
Never poopy where you eat. In other words - well you get the picture. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:10 am Post subject: |
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Adventurer wrote: |
I understand that it is wrong. What if the student makes the move, and you are not the one who initiates and just stay professional. What then? |
If you want to "just stay professional" then don't do it. It doesn't matter the age. As I said, if you're just here to make money and mess around and don't plan on being a real teacher, go for it. If you're not desperate, it's probably best to look elsewhere. |
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mole

Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:15 am Post subject: |
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You ARE on a mission. Just say so!
My first year in Korea, there were us 3 American male teachers at the hogwan. The owner forbid us to date students.
"Korea must keep the bloodline clean!"
2 of us married students, I had a longterm relationship with another.
I eventually married a Korean woman. (not a student) |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:36 am Post subject: |
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mole wrote: |
You ARE on a mission. Just say so!
My first year in Korea, there were us 3 American male teachers at the hogwan. The owner forbid us to date students.
"Korea must keep the bloodline clean!"
2 of us married students, I had a longterm relationship with another.
I eventually married a Korean woman. (not a student) |
Was that the real reason, or did your boss just not want to employ creeps? |
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mole

Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:48 am Post subject: |
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RACETRAITOR wrote: |
mole wrote: |
You ARE on a mission. Just say so!
My first year in Korea, there were us 3 American male teachers at the hogwan. The owner forbid us to date students.
"Korea must keep the bloodline clean!"
2 of us married students, I had a longterm relationship with another.
I eventually married a Korean woman. (not a student) |
Was that the real reason, or did your boss just not want to employ creeps? |
I don't like to employ multiple replies, and I don't intend to be adversarial to an elder,
but please tell us again. What's your story?
My boss was desperate to keep us, then went bankrupt during IMF because we all left.
with our K-gals
Last edited by mole on Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:58 am; edited 1 time in total |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:56 am Post subject: |
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I'm trying to have a level-headed conversation, but my mom's a teacher and she drilled it into my head that teachers dating students is the ultimate sign of unprofessionality. |
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mole

Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:10 am Post subject: |
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RACETRAITOR wrote: |
I'm trying to have a level-headed conversation, but my mom's a teacher and she drilled it into my head that teachers dating students is the ultimate sign of unprofessionality. |
Were you ever a white guy teaching single female Korean college graduates
with jobs that required English?
Temptation is there, from both sides. We were'nt really creepy.
We found our likenesses plastered on buses, and all over town. |
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Son Deureo!
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:32 am Post subject: |
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I'd never recommend this if you're teaching her at a university, but if you're teaching her at a hogwon, then you're not giving her grades that will have an impact on her life so there isn't really that much of an ethical quandary here, IMHO. Does your school even have a policy against dating students? Many adult hogwons don't. Use a little bit of discretion for the sake of the school's reputation and both of your dignity, and don't treat her any differently from any other student inside the classroom and you should be fine.
If your K-coworker is inviting both of you to hang out together outside of work, that sounds like your in. Use it.
Otherwise, you could always invite the whole class to go out together, giving you another chance to get to know her in a less formal setting. End of month/semester 쫑파티s are a great excuse for this.
You're both consenting adults, don't let the job that allowed you to meet in the first place interfere with what could turn out to be a good thing.
Good luck. |
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crsandus

Joined: 05 Oct 2004
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 7:06 am Post subject: |
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SuperFly wrote: |
We dogs have an expression, not sure if you humans ever heard of it.
Never poopy where you eat. In other words - well you get the picture. |
I'm not sure if I'm in a weird mood but I actually laughed out loud after reading this... the bad part is that I'm at work right now! Good one SuperFly |
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 8:14 am Post subject: |
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Son Deureo! wrote: |
I'd never recommend this if you're teaching her at a university, but if you're teaching her at a hogwon, then you're not giving her grades that will have an impact on her life so there isn't really that much of an ethical quandary here, IMHO. Does your school even have a policy against dating students? Many adult hogwons don't. Use a little bit of discretion for the sake of the school's reputation and both of your dignity, and don't treat her any differently from any other student inside the classroom and you should be fine.
If your K-coworker is inviting both of you to hang out together outside of work, that sounds like your in. Use it.
Otherwise, you could always invite the whole class to go out together, giving you another chance to get to know her in a less formal setting. End of month/semester 쫑파티s are a great excuse for this.
You're both consenting adults, don't let the job that allowed you to meet in the first place interfere with what could turn out to be a good thing.
Good luck. |
I do work at a hagwon. I almost feel bad for the girl because she is longing for love and companionship, and I feel drawn to her, but the certified teacher part of me keeps saying "no", but certified teachers teach high schoolers or people who are younger and this is quite different. These are paying professionals who are in the age of majority. They can make up their own minds. It might sound corny but I hate seeing a sweet, sensual, warm girl feel lonely, and she seems awesome. I intend, though, to hold out and resist and just do my job.
It can be hard, that I will say. I am not into yellow fever, but I am a humanist and love people. I would prefer a Western girl who is compatible, but I am just a man and feel for this Korean sweet gal.
I am sure you can understand. I wouldn't mind taking it easy being friends with her and being chaperoned with the Korean co-teacher, so I can try to avoid something happening. I just can't help thinking "wow" when I am in her presence. It sounds so wacky, but, again, if I would find a great Western girl that would be preferable for me due to the language and cultural differences and the fact that I am a teacher. |
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