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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Wisconsinite
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
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 Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:14 am Post subject: |
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I think most of the ladies on here have it right. There are good and bad ones and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. I lived in a small town and soon found myself accepting dates from Korean men (even when I thought I never would). I went through a few bad ones and a few good ones and some that just couldn't get it right. I have a good one now but we have our share of problems just like any other couple. There are moments when I look at him and see our future and moments when I want to strangle him! I am absolutely 100% sure he feels the same way.... 
Dating someone cross-culturally takes patience and understanding. Family, language, culture, friends, jobs, distance can all put stress on a relationship. Love cannot conquer everything but commitment, communication, and time can. It's not always easy but the pay offs can be very good in the end.
So give it a go.....you just never know what can happen! |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
Thanks for the support everybody. The main obstacle to having a relationship while he's in the army is that it would have to be a fairly phone-based relationship, and he is TERRIBLE at holding conversations on the phone. His English is pretty good face to face, but he has real problems speaking English on the phone if he can't read facial expressions/body language. So we're just calling it "friends" for now and seeing how it plays out.
I'm just taking it in stride and deciding this is a sign that I need to get out and meet new people. I relied on him way too much in terms of socialization, since I live in an area where it's hard to meet English speakers. So hell yes I'm ready to mingle. |
When a man says "let's be friends" it could mean he knows he won't see you for awhile and he just doesn't want you to worry and be sad while the two of you are apart. It could also be code for...I want to sleep or try to sleep with other girls. In this case, what a dumbass! |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:02 am Post subject: |
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| jessie-b wrote: |
| So I went out with a Korean guy but he ended up being a girl. Then I went out with another one and he said nothing serious could ever happen between us because he needed to eventually meet someone his parents would approve of. That's life though. |
At least guy number 2 told you upfront that he cared about mommy and daddy's opinions too much. He didn't lead you on for YEARS and even talk about marrying you and taking you to his family's home and telling his parents you were his English teacher, dump you, see a Korean girl last year, then see you again this year, give you some gifts and leave to go to Japan for 2 weeks.....then come back and start working at a new place, and NOT tell you. But, I am resourceful...I found his new job and I should go there and call him on his bull$%^&  |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:10 am Post subject: |
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I haven't really dated a Korean girl before. I find many attractive and many seem sweet, but I have dated a girl from another culture that was somewhat conservative, and it was rough dealing with the parents and being hidden from them and all that jazz. So unless I meet a Korean girl who is kind of clearly not stuck to her parents, then I am not going to bother. I want to be choosy. Of course, it depends on what you want. If you want a serious relationship with a Korean girl or guy but not necessarily marriage per se and that it might end, it might not really matter who you date. There are definite advantages to dating Koreans, but I think I'll stick with someone like me first - a fellow teacher who speaks English like me and is really worth it. There are many great relationships between Koreans and non-Koreans. You also have to consider you may want to go back and many of the men not want to, and you could end up spending the rest of your days here far from family.
Of course, that is very forward thinking but something to consider. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:51 am Post subject: |
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| crsandus wrote: |
So I think I've experienced how/why the Mommy complex is so prevalent in Korean society. When I went to visit my Mother (this was the second time I saw her after I found her after my adoption) I find out that she bought underwear for me!!! I thought "WTF? No one's bought underwear for me since... 6th grade!" anyway, after I tried desperately to tell her in English to take them back and that I had plenty of good underwear, she mistook my pleas for "Please let me exchange the underwear you bought me for different styled pairs and please let us do this together."
Needlessly to say, I refused to step into the store once I realized what was happening and stood outside with an embarrassed look upon my face.
Oh and to stay on topic, I think all attractive females should date Korean men... especially gyopos that are around 5'11", 170lbs, nice, fluent in English, don't have Mommy dependencies, and have Polish last names. |
my mil still buys my husband's underwear (socks too) which is fine with me. it's just one less thing we have to worry about. |
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JeJuJitsu
Joined: 11 Sep 2005
Location: McDonald's
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| How do you ladies married to Ajosshi's reconcile the fact that for a Korean man, his standing in his circle of friends depends on how often he goes to/spends on prostitutes? |
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Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:02 am Post subject: |
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| JeJuJitsu wrote: |
| How do you ladies married to Ajosshi's reconcile the fact that for a Korean man, his standing in his circle of friends depends on how often he goes to/spends on prostitutes? |
Well, they don't have to, because it doesn't ... |
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twg
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Location: Getting some fresh air...
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:07 am Post subject: |
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| The peer pressure would surprise you. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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| JeJuJitsu wrote: |
| How do you ladies married to Ajosshi's reconcile the fact that for a Korean man, his standing in his circle of friends depends on how often he goes to/spends on prostitutes? |
this has to be one of the stupidest thing i've read in these forums. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| JeJuJitsu wrote: |
| How do you ladies married to Ajosshi's reconcile the fact that for a Korean man, his standing in his circle of friends depends on how often he goes to/spends on prostitutes? |
this has to be one of the stupidest thing i've read in these forums.
| Quote: |
The peer pressure would surprise you. |
are you sure you're okay, living so far from home (and high school)? |
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waterbaby
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| JeJuJitsu wrote: |
| How do you ladies married to Ajosshi's reconcile the fact that for a Korean man, his standing in his circle of friends depends on how often he goes to/spends on prostitutes? |
How do I reconcile it?
Because the more time he spends away from me, the less chance I have of getting beaten by my womanising, soju-swilling, garlic-munching, street spitting, rude, pushy, salary-man husband who is about to develop stomach cancer before passing on a nasty STD  |
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Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
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| Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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| twg wrote: |
| The peer pressure would surprise you. |
With five years in Korea under my belt I'm a little past the surprise stage. All I'm saying, and it's very simple really, is that you're wrong. Sure, going to prostitutes is more common for Korean men than it is in our home countries, but the idea that your status depends on visiting them or that there is peer pressure to go is just pure bunkum. It's true that if you're a high level business man you will have to conduct some contract agreement "ceremonies" in brothels, you have to be there, but you certainly do not have to use the full range of services if you don't want to. It's far from a mainstream type situation that the average Korean is involved in ... |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last edited by gyopogirlfromtexas on Thu May 03, 2007 6:49 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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Unfortunately white men who married to a korean women are often high school drop-out ex GIs and often korean girls who married to them are ex-bar girls, still most of them are happily married. |
Not true in my parent's case. My dad is a retired military gi, but he was only 2 classes short of getting his bachelor's degree. Then some idiots have to argue why didn't he finish his degree. You know military people get orders last minute and you have to follow your orders if they just decide to send you to another country or a state. Sometimes you loose credits when you transfer schools, lot of military people have to drop classes because they are getting orders to go somewhere in the middle of school year and such, and they have to go to the field, and other things.
My mom, is far from a bar girl, she was a rn, with a 4 yr degree. I hate how people just "assume" things like that. She is paranoid though with the Korean Texas community. She told me most Koreans here were bargirls and that she is educated and came from a good family and hated being mistaken into that group. She dresses overconservatively like she thinks she is the first lady.
I used to argue with my ex because he had a habit of putting gi's down. You know there are officers too. You have to have a 4 yr degree to be an officer. I think officers make up 30percent of the military population. Most gi's are fresh out of high school getting money for college and then going to college. Some people go right after college to pay off student loans.
I've known a West Point graduate who was a doctor, the army paid for his medical school and everything. You can use the military to pay for your school, so that's a good reason to join.
But anyways some people assume all gi's are low class and that's not true. My ex liked to pick on my parents that they havent' even been to college(when they have), I didn't want to remind him that his parents only went halfway and didn't even get even a community college degree.
But it is also harder to get into colleges in Korea than the US. Some Americans assume Korean schools are crap and a breeze. Not true and I had to prove my mom went to a 4 yr university to get her rn, some people just really enjoy belittling others to make themselves feel better or have a hobby of arguing. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="gyopogirlfromtexas"]
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Unfortunately white men who married to a korean women are often high school drop-out ex GIs and often korean girls who married to them are ex-bar girls, still most of them are happily married. |
Not true in my parent's case. My dad is a retired military gi, but he was only 2 classes short of getting his bachelor's degree. Then some idiots have to argue why didn't he finish his degree. You know military people get orders last minute and you have to follow your orders if they just decide to send you to another country or a state. Sometimes you loose credits when you transfer schools, lot of military people have to drop classes because they are getting orders to go somewhere in the middle of school year and such, and they have to go to the field, and other things.
[Miss Seoul sounds like one of those snobby Korean girls who looks down on soldiers who are defending her country's borders. I have a friend who is in the military. He definitely finished high school, and he is working hard to finish his degree. He's actually in the National Guard, and getting his degree so he can become a captain. All people in the military have to have a high school diploma or a GED. In many cases, we are talking about 18 year old guys who are not from wealthy backgrounds, so some might not be sophisticated. I have found many military guys and girls to be friendly and maybe friendlier than the foreign teachers. I would consider dating a female soldier. I met a navy girl here, and she was super, but she was shipping out. |
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