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gsxr750r

Joined: 29 Jan 2007
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 11:37 pm Post subject: Giving passwords to your gf |
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Does your Korean bf or gf insist on getting your passwords to e-mail, cyworld, etc., to "check on you?" Does he/she grab your phone and start scanning through it to see who called you, what photos you've taken, or who is on your phone list?
I hear this is common in Korea, and I also know of a few similar situations myself.
Would this kind of thing make you uncomfortable? Doesn't it seem a bit too controlling, and stink of a lack of trust?
Your thoughts? |
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mehamrick

Joined: 28 Aug 2006 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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My girlfriend will check my phone over a few times.. I have never had her ask for the email or messenger accounts yet.. I kind of gave her the rule if she ask me for it i will gladly show her.. If she rips it out of my hand I will treat her like a two year old kid and smack her hand and say " no you don't grab things from other peoples hands without permission" she is starting to get the idea after getting smacked a couple times. she now politely ask me for it, and I give it to her.. |
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maeil
Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Location: Haebangchon
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 11:42 pm Post subject: Re: Giving passwords to your gf |
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gsxr750r wrote: |
Would this kind of thing make you uncomfortable? Doesn't it seem a bit too controlling, and stink of a lack of trust?
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Yes, yes, and yes.
You need to have some measure of privacy, even in the closest of relationships. |
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ChinaBoy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:43 am Post subject: |
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this would be grounds for instant termination |
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sock

Joined: 07 Oct 2006
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:30 am Post subject: |
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My thought is that healthy relationships (ie, the kind that you WANT to last) allow each party to have some personal space. I think that some degree of privacy regarding one's own email and phone calls is important. Lack of trust can kill any relationship, but so can lack of personal space/privacy. Especially for a relationship in its early stages. After 50 years together, personal privacy might not be so important.
For me, no privacy=no respect=suffocation. But that's me. I guess if a lack of privacy isn't a big deal to you, then it's fine. But does she/he offer their passwords too, or does this street only run one way? Some people are way too interested in other people's business. This might be a good time to explain the saying "curiosity killed the cat." Or maybe to explain that since you're not in prison, you won't be needing your own personal guard/warden/parole officer. |
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jaganath69

Joined: 17 Jul 2003
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:35 am Post subject: Re: Giving passwords to your gf |
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gsxr750r wrote: |
Does your Korean bf or gf insist on getting your passwords to e-mail, cyworld, etc., to "check on you?" Does he/she grab your phone and start scanning through it to see who called you, what photos you've taken, or who is on your phone list?
I hear this is common in Korea, and I also know of a few similar situations myself.
Would this kind of thing make you uncomfortable? Doesn't it seem a bit too controlling, and stink of a lack of trust?
Your thoughts? |
I think it's either time to choke her with your best tie and bury her under a tree or find a new girlfriend. |
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Odannyboy
Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Location: Seoul (always)
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:17 am Post subject: |
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had a korean gf the first year I was here and she was always trying to get in my business...so i let her...when she saw all the other girls phone numbers she flipped and that ended it pretty quick
but i didn't care because, as i said, there were all those other girls from itaewon
and yeah...i know they're all sluts...but hey, what's an irishmen to do?
by the way...happy st. paddy's day!
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europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:24 am Post subject: |
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I was passed out after we did the deed, me being drunk. She looked at my phone then and saw other girl's messages. Didn't say anything to me after I woke up and stuff.
The next day she called her and stuff. And I had a situation of loosing both girls which is not good. Anyway, I did some fire-fighting and it was OK.
From that point on, I keep my phone with Privacy mode on. LG has a better system. On Samsung even in privacy mode you can see (preview) the message received. Bad. |
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rawiri

Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:34 am Post subject: |
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Isn't your girlfriend 35 or something? |
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butlerian

Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Location: Korea
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:43 am Post subject: |
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europe2seoul wrote: |
I was passed out after we did the deed, me being drunk. She looked at my phone then and saw other girl's messages. Didn't say anything to me after I woke up and stuff.
The next day she called her and stuff. And I had a situation of loosing both girls which is not good. Anyway, I did some fire-fighting and it was OK.
From that point on, I keep my phone with Privacy mode on. LG has a better system. On Samsung even in privacy mode you can see (preview) the message received. Bad. |
Well, we all know that many girls will check up on these things, with or without permission. You should've known better than to leave messages from other girls on your phone! Also, I hope it was not your girlfriend, because that would imply you were cheating... |
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europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:08 am Post subject: |
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butlerian wrote: |
europe2seoul wrote: |
I was passed out after we did the deed, me being drunk. She looked at my phone then and saw other girl's messages. Didn't say anything to me after I woke up and stuff.
The next day she called her and stuff. And I had a situation of loosing both girls which is not good. Anyway, I did some fire-fighting and it was OK.
From that point on, I keep my phone with Privacy mode on. LG has a better system. On Samsung even in privacy mode you can see (preview) the message received. Bad. |
Well, we all know that many girls will check up on these things, with or without permission. You should've known better than to leave messages from other girls on your phone! Also, I hope it was not your girlfriend, because that would imply you were cheating... |
Well, I was dating 2 at the time, so....And I was usually leaving last 1-2 messages as a reminder as where we are in the message based conversation. |
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thebum

Joined: 09 Jan 2005 Location: North Korea
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:38 am Post subject: |
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i set my phone so you need to enter the pin to see my text messages, my phone book, and my call log . i would never give passwords to a girlfriend either. |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:44 am Post subject: |
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europe2seoul wrote: |
butlerian wrote: |
europe2seoul wrote: |
I was passed out after we did the deed, me being drunk. She looked at my phone then and saw other girl's messages. Didn't say anything to me after I woke up and stuff.
The next day she called her and stuff. And I had a situation of loosing both girls which is not good. Anyway, I did some fire-fighting and it was OK.
From that point on, I keep my phone with Privacy mode on. LG has a better system. On Samsung even in privacy mode you can see (preview) the message received. Bad. |
Well, we all know that many girls will check up on these things, with or without permission. You should've known better than to leave messages from other girls on your phone! Also, I hope it was not your girlfriend, because that would imply you were cheating... |
Well, I was dating 2 at the time, so....And I was usually leaving last 1-2 messages as a reminder as where we are in the message based conversation. |
You were leaving last 1-2 messages? ???
I guess it's better than loosing them..
OP- not a chance I'd be down with that kind of behaviour.. of course not. Who would actually come on here and say they are? |
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gsxr750r

Joined: 29 Jan 2007
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:55 am Post subject: |
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rawiri wrote: |
Isn't your girlfriend 35 or something? |
Amazing what people will read into my post and assume happened (or maybe you were talking about europe2seoul's gf)?
We were talking about e-mail accounts and passwords, and how common it was to share them in Korea, to prove there wasn't cheating involved.
I have a Korean female friend who had to give her boyfriend her passwords, including her Cyworld password, in case anyone sent her a private message. I always thought that one was over-the-top. The whole idea sounds offensive to me, and I was curious if it was just me or not. Sounds like it bothers a lot of you guys, too.
Cultural difference here? |
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diver
Joined: 16 Jun 2003
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:49 am Post subject: |
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Another thing some of you guys might try, and it has worked well for me, is to not cheat on your girlfriend. |
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