Korean Job Discussion Forums

[procrastinatrix]

My cousins (they're not actually blood relatives, but acquaintances of my actual relatives that my aunt recruited to show me around Seoul...but I just call them my cousins to make it easier) don't let me pay for anything. fyi I'm an ethnically Korean girl from the US.

Not that i'm really complaining, bc it's kind of nice being treated, but I'm starting to feel really bad because I know these guys aren't loaded, and it's not like I don't have money too. Usually the tab doesn't come out to that much (I'd assume, but I never actually see the check), but it definitely has to add up. Also I hate the feeling of being indebted to someone.
like yesterday while my cousin was having a cigarette, I snuck into a family mart and tried to buy a 500 won popsicle. Out of nowhere, he appears, snatches it away saying "We're in Korea now" and pays, deaf to my cries of "I have money too! It's only 500 won!"

Are my cousins just being extra nice? Is it just a cultural thing and I should just enjoy it?
So then is it offensive to offer to split the check (guys or girls or both)? Because personally I feel really rude just sitting there when the check comes and pretending not to notice...

[Masta_Don]

Sounds a bit strange. Koreans even use the word 'dutch', as in to split the meal evenly. Guess they're trying to be good/friendly hosts. Or could be they're thinking 'this is the way you're supposed to treat American girls'.



VVVVVVVVVV Maybe K-guys don't with girls but K-girls definitely do with guys.

[Treefarmer]

It's a cultural thing, Koreans don't split the check ever, it is kind of wierd for us, but it's just a cultural difference i think

[peppermint]

Makes sense if they're older than you. Standard, "senior" type behavior. Next time you're out with them, slip off to the washroom and pay the bill then.

[princess]

Let them pay. Guys should pay more than the girl anyways. Going dutch all the time is crazy!

[jinju]

[Texas T-Bone]

Similiar situation when my wife went to Canada to see her family. Simple solution for her was leaving a nice amount of cash on her aunt's bed the morning she left. Take it as a compliment, but not for granted.

B~

[mj roach]

I see you haven't learned the little piece of 'theater' that's done for the benefit of the entire room, others in the party and the cashier....

it involves lots of 'elbowing', pushing thr others' hand full of cash out of the way and thrusting your handfull of cash at the cashier while mock arguing about who will pay.

You have definitely lost face.

[Saxiif]

What you do is grab the check and sprint for the cashier and pay for the whole thing next time you go out. If they let people pay for you all the time they'll never treat you like an equal.

[kingtout]

[mateomiguel]

[Adventurer]

[procrastinatrix]

well, i've seen my dad do that whole argue about who pays thing with any/all male friends or family members..
but is it okay for girls to do that too? I wasn't sure if we're allowed...
I guess I'll pay them back with presents or something before I leave...maybe free english lessons

[Juregen]

If i am with Koreans, I am seldom allowed to pay anything at all.

But they do like it when you make the effort to pay.

[crsandus]

I'm a guy and I rarely if ever pay when I go to Korea. My sisters or my brother in law will always rush off the pay for it before I can utter a peep. I think I'll be expected to pay in the next visit or so since the novelty of an adopted son coming back to visit will soon wear off.

The whole "saving face" thing about money and who pays can get awful annoying at times. I'm not the type to argue or hassle, which goes against the whole nature of "fighting" to pay for a bill or such. I got a dumb story that elaborates on that.