Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ilsanman]

How do you feel about having strangers come up and touch your child? It seems to be prevalent in Korean culture, and pretty much acceptable. I am guessing that all of you parents here have had it happen. How did you feel? How did you react?

I am going to be a parent quite soon, and it is a major issue of contention between my wife and I.

[Juregen]

Let me tell you.

I really don't like it, and they do it without any shame or thought, so you cannot even intervene.

Koreans will cry hell that they are hygenic, but i believe otherwise.

Not only that, but if i go for a walk with my son, i get a constant "Ohh Ipuda", especially from the younger women. It is starting to bug me, a lot.

But then again, this is a different culture, i just whish i could see them do it with Korean kids too!

[Ilsanman]

Well, I don't mind words, as long as they're not insults. I am a bit concerned about my child seeing bad behaviour and hearing bad words. Granted, that happens everywhere, but with Korea's high population density, it will happen more often.

The touching bothers me. I never touch a stranger's child, and sometimes not even someone I know.

[Homer]

[Horangi Munshin]

I partly agree with you Homer.

At first I THOUGHT it would bother me, and it did when our daughter was really young. I didn't like adjumas poking and prodding her and handing her hard candy.

Like another poster said, the pretty comments are a hell of a lot better than nasty ones, and the young women who usually make these comments don't single out foreign/Korean kids.

I will draw the line with people trying to pick up my daughter however.

[jaganath69]

I couldn't agree less. While I am not adverse to the cootchy coo stuff and will gladly let people I know nurse him if they ask, I don't want random strangers coming up and damn near pulling my son's arm off, like the retarded old hag who lives in our block did yesterday. What is more, I often carry him on my chest in a sling, and some women here think the fact that they popped a few mutants out of their smelly bits gives them carte blanche to come and adjust him. My son is two months old and sleeps fitfully. Often I take him out for a walk as it sends him straight to sleep. But oh no, some permed old harridan has to come up and put herself where her overzealous touching and 15th century parenting tips are unwanted. Getting him back to sleep is a pain in the butt, so much so that the next one to try it might just get my big hairy finger jabbed into her cruel, black, soulless eye.

[AylaZ]

Yeh takes a while to get used. My son was 2 when we lived in China and it's just as bad over there. Here there doesn't seem to be any stranger awareness. My son is now 5 at the age where I am teaching him the whole beware of strangers thing!! still impt to learn but here not so useful so far, kids come and go by themselves everywhere it amazes me still. It is a little safer however there is always so many people around unlike my hometown n NZ where u wouldn't venture out on your own after dark!

[SuperHero]

when the hand moves to touch my kid, I'm quick with 만지지마세요. if that doesn't work I forcibly move the hand away.

[Homer]

There has to be certain limits and I agree with what others said here about complete strangers picking up my son (it does not happen).

As for touching thats different and it depends on the person and the situation. I am a strong believer in the fact that our reactions as parents send a direct message to our kids. Reacting forcibly to every person coming close to my child would, in my opinion, install a fear reaction in him. This is not what I want to teach my son. So, if an ajum wants to shake my sons hand in the subway...no problem. If she wants to prod him, I tell her politely not to do so and that is the end of that. What I would not do (this is personal) is raise my voice or become physical.

[Horangi Munshin]

[Homer]

[I-am-me]

If a foreigner touches someones kid, i bet they would phone the police right away. We are all pedophiles you know!

[danby_ll]

[Ilsanman]

Or some sweaty guy just finishing up a workout, or some drunken ajosshi (which are the exact 2 things that my Korean friend objects to).

I will be saying 만지지마 when someone tries to touch my son/daughter. If they don't like that, a verbal tongue lashing will come.

I admire that some of you feel safe with strangers, and that's great. But if even 1 in 1000 people, or 1 in 10,000 people are psychotic or dangerous, you're taking too big of a risk.

People who we know = okay

People we don't know = *beep* off

[Col.Brandon]

It's a good way for kids to build up their immune system.