Korean Job Discussion Forums

[passport220]

The following is meant to be a model answer for students who have just read an article about who Buddha is. I am a technically poor writer and would ask for any suggestions to improve the paragraph. It is as follows:

As a child, a prince named Siddhartha Gautama Buddha was troubled by the pain of others. The prince did all that he could to learn a way to put an end to human suffering. Buddha learned to live without the desire of material things and to avoid causing pain to others. Buddha knew what was in the hearts of children and human kind, he taught people how to live a happy and peaceful life. Buddha taught about how to look at and think about our own lives and how to understand ourselves and how to cope with our daily problems.

[some waygug-in]

He wasn't called Buddha until after he started his own religion( and perhaps not until after his death, I'm not sure).... so I guess your opening sentence is wrong.

[cranura]

The title "Buddha" did not come to Siddhartha until much later in his life. It means "awakened" or "enlightened". He was a bodhisattva, seeker of buddhahood for many years. He ceased being a prince, left his family to become a bodhisattva. I think just calling him Buddha throughout your piece (which otherwise is fine) would be in error.

[bacasper]

The changes I would make are in red. (I left out "Buddha.")

[Colorado]

I'd tighten it up. Something along the lines of:

As a child, Siddhartha Gautama was troubled by the pain of others. The young prince was determined to learn how to end human suffering. He learned how to live without the desire for material things and how to avoid causing pain to others. He became the Buddha and taught others how to live happy and peaceful lives.

[passport220]

I have done a few �grammar check please � posts in the past and I am always so impressed that people take the time to review the work and give me a hand. You are the �Best of Dave�s ESL� sincere thanks for taking the time.

Cheers!

[trubadour]

Those are great edits. But, for the sake of authenticity, I would recommend a small but very important concession, (you can do it in a few words), quoting the story of how he was actually out one day and saw that thing that really made him realise about suffering.

I say this because this is what the tradition says is what happened - there was this moment when he realised that his own comforts were meaningless.

It is really important that you either include this in the text or mention it when you explain the event. Because it was an actual historical event - a moment in the life of an ordinary man, though he is called a 'Prince.'

I'm not a Buddhist, but I know that this part of the story is really essential. At least make sure you tell them that that was how it happened. He was not just a guy who had a general concern for how people lived - he had a moment - and he reflected on that moment for the rest of his life. The total realisation of the meaning of that moment made him Buddha.


So, perhaps you can add:

'One day, he went for a walk and saw some poor people. This sight really surprised him. "Why are these people sad?" he thought'

[spliff]

Perhaps "Who was Buddha" would better...

[trubadour]

[spliff]

Yeah...ya wanna buy some vacation property in Florida?

[trubadour]

no?

[Captain Courageous]

He didn't start his own religion. He died a Hindu.

[josesiem]

Well, he did establish a community of renunciates that probably estimated in the thousands, with their own set of rules, etc. He was the leader. This is what we'd call today a religion.

[chinook]