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Dealing with Korean bf/gf parents (sort of just a rant)
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:41 pm    Post subject: Dealing with Korean bf/gf parents (sort of just a rant) Reply with quote

So! Mostly just a rant.

Long before we met, The (Korean) Boy got accepted to 8 out of 10 American grad schools he applied to. He went through the whole visa process and his parents said no, not enough money.

Saturday night The Boy's mother called him back home to complain that her husband was complaining about work. Including the fact that his company (Koreans, shock o' shock) wasn't paying him. (He works in a foreign country and has for over 15 years.)

Sunday night, completely unrelated, The Boy told his parents about me and that he was "serious" about me. I thought he'd told them before that he'd had foreign (American, Japanese, German, he's dated Koreans, too) girlfriends. No, I am the first girlfriend he ever told them about. Which is, as you know, A Very Big Deal.

Yesterday, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH they suddenly had enough money to send him to grad school. Next month.

ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE???
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spliff



Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: Khon Kaen, Thailand

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like your boyfriend is a manipulator. He knew just how to play it w/ his parents to get his way.
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

spliff wrote:
Sounds like your boyfriend is a manipulator. He knew just how to play it w/ his parents to get his way.


Rolling Eyes

The more I read your posts, the more I realize just how totally clueless you are, Spliff.

Please go get laid.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah so they're coughing up the dough to break you two up? Most Koreans don't tell their parents about their GF/BF until they're almost ready for marriage. So clearly he was trying to drop some kind of major bomb on them. Whether planned as spliff intimates or a happy coincidence, he did get his way in the end.

Anyway, you're happy for him, right?
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let me re-read my message. Did I say he was leaving?
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faster



Joined: 03 Sep 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is he actually considering turning down grad school in the U.S.?

If so, he's pretty short-sighted.
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spliff



Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: Khon Kaen, Thailand

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why would he apply to so many Grad schools and go through the visa process if he wasn't gonna leave? Why don't you go w/ him? After all, marriage is at hand... Very Happy

BTW, I'm happily married so I'll have to refuse your kind offer.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Atavistic wrote:
Let me re-read my message. Did I say he was leaving?


It seems a logical assumption. Problem: He wants to go to grad school in the USA. He got accepted. He started the visa work. His parents said no at the last minute. He revealed he had a foreign GF here in Korea. His parents have coughed up the dough to send him abroad.

Seems the safe assumption is he's packing his bags. No?
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billybrobby



Joined: 09 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Korean parents not willing to scrimp, save and sacrifice for their son's education?

I M P O S S I B L E

I do not believe it, and I will not sit idly by while you denigrate the Korean national character. Consider yourself reported to the mods!
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nateium



Joined: 21 Aug 2006
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Dealing with Korean bf/gf parents (sort of just a rant) Reply with quote

Atavistic wrote:
So! Mostly just a rant.

Long before we met, The (Korean) Boy got accepted to 8 out of 10 American grad schools he applied to. He went through the whole visa process and his parents said no, not enough money.

Saturday night The Boy's mother called him back home to complain that her husband was complaining about work. Including the fact that his company (Koreans, shock o' shock) wasn't paying him. (He works in a foreign country and has for over 15 years.)

Sunday night, completely unrelated, The Boy told his parents about me and that he was "serious" about me. I thought he'd told them before that he'd had foreign (American, Japanese, German, he's dated Koreans, too) girlfriends. No, I am the first girlfriend he ever told them about. Which is, as you know, A Very Big Deal.

Yesterday, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH they suddenly had enough money to send him to grad school. Next month.

ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE???



So.....they will allow him to attend a grad school in the US to avoid a non-korean girlfriend. Is he more or less likely to find another serious non-korean girlfriend while he studies abroad? What are they thinking exactly?
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mikowee



Joined: 03 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Korean parents are sneaky like that. After my cousin got her first job after university, her mother convinced her to open a savings account that she can use for her eventual marriage. She was ordered to deposit 700,000 won per month, even though her salary was 1.2 mil. As time went on, her mother asked her to put in more and more money each month. Eventually, it became 1 mil. When my cousin wasn't punctual with her deposit, her mother called her up and pushed her to deposit the money. She thought her mother was just concerned for her future. But then the mother asked to have the entire account once she got married. My cousin, sweetheart that she is, agreed. Devious stuff.

I'd like to add, however, that I consider my aunt, her mother, to be a kind woman overall. She will no doubt use the money for my cousin's marriage expenses.

My girlfriend also feels that she's indebted to her parents for raising her. She gives them money regularly.
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 4:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mikowee gets it.

Basically, he's being punished for being the non-traditional eldest son who didn't go to SKY dammit and is in love with a white girl.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 5:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Atavistic wrote:
Mikowee gets it.

Basically, he's being punished for being the non-traditional eldest son who didn't go to SKY dammit and is in love with a white girl.


Previous:

Quote:
Long before we met, The (Korean) Boy got accepted to 8 out of 10 American grad schools he applied to. He went through the whole visa process and his parents said no, not enough money.

Yesterday, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH they suddenly had enough money to send him to grad school. Next month.


This is punishment? Sending him abroad to an American university he wanted to attend?
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mindmetoo wrote:
This is punishment? Sending him abroad to an American university he wanted to attend?


You are fabulous at inserting your own thoughts into what other people write. You were right about the marriage part, as in he wants it.

(His mother is flat refusing to meet me.)

His parents made him apply to US grad schools because he didn't go to a good enough school to brag to the neighbors about. They wouldn't allow him to apply to grad schools in Korea because that wouldn't "look good enough."

I really don't want to post all the details of his home life, but yes, they're trying to punish him.

As for him meeting a white girl in the States, they want him to meet a Korean or Korean-American girl in the States.

However, the man has a backbone and isn't leaving this fall. End of story.
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

spliff wrote:
Why would he apply to so many Grad schools and go through the visa process if he wasn't gonna leave? Why don't you go w/ him? After all, marriage is at hand... Very Happy

BTW, I'm happily married so I'll have to refuse your kind offer.


His parents made him, if I go with him his parents won't pay for grad school, and I was thinking more a Thai ladyboy for you, Spliff. Laughing Wink
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