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| What's your response to perceived rudeness by Koreans? |
| When in Rome, Do As the Romans! |
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| Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right! |
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| Total Votes : 51 |
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Hanson
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
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 Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:25 am Post subject: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right vs When in Rome |
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Another thread (I am not popular at the local E-Mart http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=108751) had me thinking about an issue that seems to polarize us expats in Korea. Here's the context:
| a poster I like wrote: |
I was in HomePlus last week and needed a decent hair dryer. I'm standing there looking at the 20-odd models they had on display when the male part of a couple elbowed me aside then pushed in front of me making room for his wife/gf. I was standing there for a few seconds in disbelief at such rudeness. When I came to my senses again I LOUDLY gave an exagerrated A-HEM!
Nothing.
A-HEM!
Both turn around with those rheumy cow-eyed looks we've all seen before. I explain I was standing there and he pushed me out of the way.
Confusion. (Got that "Who me?" look on his face).
Yes, YOU! Now move over! (gesture with my thumb to get moving) He mumbles under his breath about my manners. So I do exactly what he did to me: I elbowed him aside and stepped in front of him. How are my manners now? More Korean? Good, yes?
Asshat. |
| a new poster wrote: |
| Quote: |
Yes, YOU! Now move over! (gesture with my thumb to get moving) He mumbles under his breath about my manners. So I do exactly what he did to me: I elbowed him aside and stepped in front of him. How are my manners now? More Korean? Good, yes?
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Yes . As that old adage goes two wrongs make a right .
no...wait ... |
| a bit of a trouble-maker at times wrote: |
| new poster wrote: |
| Quote: |
Yes, YOU! Now move over! (gesture with my thumb to get moving) He mumbles under his breath about my manners. So I do exactly what he did to me: I elbowed him aside and stepped in front of him. How are my manners now? More Korean? Good, yes?
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Yes . As that old adage goes two wrongs make a right .
no...wait ... |
What you meant to say, STUPID, is...
"When in Rome, do as the Romans do."
It's a fan favourite of the 45+ year old Korean children.
"When the 45 year old and older Korean children in Rome shove you, shove right back-do as the Romans do!"
Have a nice day. |
When faced with what we perceive as blatant rudeness, what's your response - ignore it and mutter to yourself (Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right) or push back (When in Rome, Do As the Romans)? |
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haute 4 teacher
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: |
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Sorry, I can't help myself......
Two wongs don't make a white.
Get it! It's witty and applicable! |
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Leslie Cheswyck
Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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Guess again. 
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that guy
Joined: 29 Feb 2004
Location: long gone
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:38 am Post subject: |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:51 am Post subject: |
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Korean children need to be corrected.
When 45+ year old child shoves you, or tries to shove you, I encourage everyone to do the noble and right thing-shove the old bag right back.
ps bring back the DON'T DO IT BOYZ thread! |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:06 am Post subject: Re: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right vs When in Rome |
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| Hanson wrote: |
| When faced with what we perceive as blatant rudeness, what's your response - ignore it and mutter to yourself (Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right) or push back (When in Rome, Do As the Romans)? |
If we do as the Romans do, how exactly is that wrong? |
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kimchi_pizza
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: |
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| I see problems in Korea like puke on the sidewalk after a Saturday night. I ignore it, step over it and keep on walk'n. As long as I don't step in puke (problems) and drag it with me for the duration then it's all good. 'Course I now have a strange little gait of lifting my right foot slightly higher than my left... |
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Hanson
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:54 am Post subject: Re: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right vs When in Rome |
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| Young FRANKenstein wrote: |
| Hanson wrote: |
| When faced with what we perceive as blatant rudeness, what's your response - ignore it and mutter to yourself (Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right) or push back (When in Rome, Do As the Romans)? |
If we do as the Romans do, how exactly is that wrong? |
Well, that's a little tricky to answer. I guess the short answer is: you know "wrong" when you see it.
I'll go on record as being more of a "When in Rome..." kind of guy. I don't always push back, depending on the situation, but I don't mind a little confrontation from time to time.
Your story reminded me of a time I was with my wife, looking at the subway map on a platform, when this adjoshi pushed me out of the way so he, and only he, could see the map.
I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he had any manners. He looked at me with a combination of bewilderment and annoyance. I angrily explained that we were there first, that he had pushed me out of his way and that it was rude. I did this in my broken Korean, with body language thrown in. He ended up giving me a very reluctant sorry. Good enough. |
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Billy Pilgrim
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:15 am Post subject: |
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I find that in the cases of rudeness, it's better to stand your ground. Why be pushed around?
In other situations, I try to be as tolerant as possible. Case by case. |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:30 am Post subject: Re: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right vs When in Rome |
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Cool, my thread got 6 pages and a spin-off thread. Too bad people totally didn't read it at all, and missed the entire point of it.
To reiterate, the point of the thread was to say how the ajumma behind me in line was getting upset b/c she couldn't push her cart all the way through the checkout until it was her turn. It was a point about how people act urgently for no reason at all.
Anyways, I voted When in Rome. The first time I started pushing people back, I always looked at them, and got scowls. I thought they were being racists. These days, I don't even acknowledge that I did anything, and I never get confronted.
| Young FRANKenstein wrote: |
| Hanson wrote: |
| When faced with what we perceive as blatant rudeness, what's your response - ignore it and mutter to yourself (Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right) or push back (When in Rome, Do As the Romans)? |
If we do as the Romans do, how exactly is that wrong? |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:34 am Post subject: |
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Another thing is, I think that 'When in Rome' is the way to go. Koreans always moan and bitch that we don't understand their culture, have no 'jung', and whatever. I act very Korean, except for no spitting or littering.
To say that we can't push back is an insult to Koreans. It implies that they are so uneducated about manners, and that we ought to be some manner ambassadors. Tough, manners are cultural. The CRAP (with endoftheworld and some cack lover leading them) would tell you that not only does one have to avoid pushing Koreans whenever possible, but also we need to respect their culture. A paradox if I have ever read one before. |
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tomato
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:34 am Post subject: |
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When people preach cultural relativity, what they are really saying is, "I'm afraid to fight because I'm outnumbered."
We often hear people condone polygamy in Arab countries because that's the norm, that's the custom, and that's their religion.
But what about Mormon fundamentalists, who are a tiny minority in a nation of three hundred million people practicing monogamy?
When the police raid a Mormon fundamentalist commune, where are all those cultural relativists who were so bravely defending the Arabs?
Last edited by tomato on Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:55 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:52 am Post subject: |
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When I was a newbie I was like Jesus and just turned the other cheek.
Now that I've been here over three years I've turned into Mohammed and am willing to pull a Jihad on any mo-fo who rudely pushes me aside.
Just kidding. Well sort of.
But seriously, I'm not going to allow anyone to be opely rude to me. Especially the older men. |
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Hanson
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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As of right now, it's 10-10.
Pretty polarized result. But then again, there were only two options...
In my mind, I know I should feel like two wrongs don't make a right, but my heart and emotion often dictate a 'when-in-Rome' attitude. My wife often wishes I would bite my tongue more.  |
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that guy
Joined: 29 Feb 2004
Location: long gone
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