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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:33 am Post subject: Is the following sentence a double-negative? |
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Is the following sentence a double-negative or otherwise awkward or inappropriate?
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The Parts may not be consolidated contrary to the Delivery Notice�s specifications, and must be placed within their appropriate containers. |
I need help on this quickly. |
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blurgalurgalurga
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: |
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I might add a comma...
"The Parts must not be consolidated, contrary to the Delivery Notice�s specifications, and must be placed within their appropriate containers."
Or do you mean they must not be consolidated, because if they were they'd be contrary to the specs?
If so I'd do...
"The Parts must not be consolidated, as the Delivery Notice specificies, and must be placed within their appropriate containers."
Or maybe just 'the parts must be placed in their appropriate containers.'
Sorry, now I'm confused too. Damn you, technical writing! |
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:46 am Post subject: |
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Here's the Chinglish I had to start with:
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The mix containerization of Parts will not be allowed. |
I'm also curious if my original is a double negative. I like your comma idea and shall adopt it. |
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mountainous

Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Location: Los Angeles
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:54 am Post subject: |
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I don't think it's a double negative.
I would write it this way:
Contrary to the Delivery Notice�s specifications, the parts may not be consolidated and must be placed within their appropriate containers. |
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Tiberious aka Sparkles

Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: I'm one cool cat!
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:24 am Post subject: |
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Why not just write:
"Don't mix different parts in the same container."
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Grimalkin

Joined: 22 May 2005
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:53 am Post subject: |
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Tiberious aka Sparkles wrote: |
Why not just write:
"Don't mix different parts in the same container."
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This one gets my vote. |
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mountainous

Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Location: Los Angeles
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: |
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Grimalkin wrote: |
Tiberious aka Sparkles wrote: |
Why not just write:
"Don't mix different parts in the same container."
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This one gets my vote. |
The original sentence acknowledges that the Delivery Notice was considered and rejected. |
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Underwaterbob

Joined: 08 Jan 2005 Location: In Cognito
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:21 am Post subject: |
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It's not a double negative. Does it have to be one sentence?
"Contrary to the delivery notice, the parts may not be consolidated. They must be placed in the appropriate containers."
This gives the reader one piece of information to consider at a time instead of lumping it all together. |
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Grimalkin

Joined: 22 May 2005
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:40 am Post subject: |
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mountainous wrote: |
Grimalkin wrote: |
Tiberious aka Sparkles wrote: |
Why not just write:
"Don't mix different parts in the same container."
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This one gets my vote. |
The original sentence acknowledges that the Delivery Notice was considered and rejected. |
Eh?
How did you get that from this
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The mix containerization of Parts will not be allowed. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:00 am Post subject: |
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I think it's awkward. Make two sentences:
Disregard the delivery notice. Keep the parts in separate containers. (Or something along those lines.)
PS: I use more commas than anybody on the board--do NOT add that comma. |
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Leslie Cheswyck

Joined: 31 May 2003 Location: University of Western Chile
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:44 am Post subject: Re: Is the following sentence a double-negative? |
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Kuros wrote: |
Is the following sentence a double-negative or otherwise awkward or inappropriate?
Quote: |
The Parts may not be consolidated contrary to the Delivery Notice�s specifications, and must be placed within their appropriate containers. |
I need help on this quickly. |
What are the 'Delivery Notice's specifications'? Answer that, my friend, and the parts consolidation world will beat a path to your door. |
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peach Mod Team


Joined: 16 Oct 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:23 pm Post subject: |
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Without the commas it is a double negative |
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Gopher

Joined: 04 Jun 2005
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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The Parts may not be consolidated contrary to the Delivery Notice's specifications, and must be placed within their appropriate containers. |
Break this into two short sentences. Then rewrite it in the active voice. Delete the verb "to be" from your professional writing vocabulary entirely -- even when translating, which I suspect describes and explains your problem here. Do not transliterate.
Also, I cannot offer any specific suggestions without knowing who, above, should not consolidate these parts, and who must also place these parts into (and not "within") their appropriate containers. |
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Kimchi Cowboy

Joined: 17 Sep 2006
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:29 pm Post subject: |
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I'm having trouble understanding the intent behind the original post. I'm reading it two different ways, and your answer depends on the specifics of the "Delivery Notice Specs." Does it say that the parts SHOULD be consolidated together into one container, or does it say they SHOULDN'T be consolidated together?
Some people have suggested a comma between consolidated and contrary, but that changes the entire meaning of the sentence.
"Woman without her man is nothing."
"Woman. Without her, man is nothing." |
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Gopher

Joined: 04 Jun 2005
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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I think you mean...
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Woman: without her, man is nothing. |
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