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Jokes
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Shauneyz



Joined: 26 May 2008
Location: The land of Nod

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amazing what 10 seconds of free time and google can accomplish:


One day Will Smith and his Korean friend went to a Korean restaurant.

The Korean guy ordered rice with kimchi chigae. Will Smith didn't know what to get, so he said to come back later. The Korean guy went to the bathroom after he ordered.

Then the waiter came to Will Smith and asked him what he would like to order. Will Smith said, "yea I want a bowl of rice."

The waiter then asked, "what would you like with that?" and Will Smith said, "yea...I want chigae with it" so when the friend got back he asked what Will Smith got with his bowl of rice and Will Smith said " gettin chigae with it"
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bejarano-korea



Joined: 13 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was feeling depressed and suicidal so I rang the samaritans - the guy said that the callcentre had been relocated to Baghdad to save costs so they put me through to the Samaritans in Baghdad.

Me: 'Help I'm feeling depressed and suicidal'

Samaritan in Baghdad: Can you drive a truck?

Laughing

An Irishman rang Manchester Airport

Paddy: 'Can you tell me how long it takes to fly to Ireland?'

Airport: 'Just a minute..'

Paddy: 'Bayjaysus thats quick! '
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Mr. BlackCat



Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Location: Insert witty remark HERE

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm stealing this from another poster from a while ago on this board. And, yet, I don't feel bad about it at all.

A construction site in the US needs some extra hands for the day, so the foreman goes out to find some help. He comes back with a Mexican, a Turk and a Korean.

The foreman starts delegating the work. He tells the Mexican guy, "You're in charge of transportation. You'll taxi people between the two worksites." The Mexican gets to work.

He tells the Turk, "You'll be on cleaning duty. Just make sure everything is where it's supposed to be and sweep around." The Turk agrees.

He tells the Korean, "You'll be responsible for the supplies." The Korean smiles and nods.

5 o'clock rolls around and the foreman calls everyone over to check their progress. "Good job, Mr. Mexican. Everyone was where they were supposed to be and the truck is in good condition. Mr. Turk, the worksite looks emaculate. Great work keeping it organized!" The foreman then looks around. Frustrated he says, "Where is that Korean?! Where are the supplies?!"

Just then the Korean jumps from behind a wall and yells,

"SUPPLIES!!!"
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cj1976



Joined: 26 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you know if your house has been robbed by a Korean?


The dogs are missing and the homework is done.

Sorry Embarassed
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friendoken



Joined: 19 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man is walking across the street and gets hit by a car. He's lying on the ground moaning in agony when a passerby rushes up and says,

"My God sir, are you alright?"

The victim replies, "How the hell should I know, I'm a doctor, not a lawyer!"
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Captain Marlow



Joined: 23 Apr 2008
Location: darkness

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

two atoms are walking down the street towards eachother... they run into eachother (maybe they're korean atoms?)... the first atom asks the second atom, "are you alright?" the second atom replies, "no, i think i lost an electron..." the first atom, "are you sure?" the second atom replies, "yeah, i'm positive."

what kinda bees do you get mild from? boo-bees

so a korean man is having problems with his eye and goes to the doctor.
the doctor does an examination and concludes to the korean man, "aw, you have a cataract!" the korean man replies, "no i don't. i have a lincoln town car!" (stolen from the sopranos)
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zuburi



Joined: 19 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What did the bra say to the hat?

"You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift."

Sorry.
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demaratusinTW



Joined: 25 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One or two jokes are okay, but th is constant buffoonery by some idiots here makes me sick.

Some think they're funny, bozos.
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Oreovictim



Joined: 23 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why do Canadians like it "doggie style?"

So that they can both watch the hockey game.
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moosehead



Joined: 05 May 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

why do koon asses ( men from Lousiana) make better lovers?

because they'll eat anything Shocked Shocked

oh I can't believe she said that!! Laughing Laughing
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bejarano-korea



Joined: 13 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Irishman goes for this job on a building site

Foreman: You've got the job, so whats yer name?

Paddy: Paddy Mulligan Sor!

Foreman: (writes down on a piece of paper) How do ya spell
Mulligan?

Paddy: Stick your job up your erse!


A scouser walks past this prostitute who asks if he would
like a blow job.

Scouser: 'Will it affect me dole money?'

Q: Whats the difference between driving a skoda and a Korean woman

A: You feel a bigger tit in a skoda!

Laughing
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jkelly80



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Location: you boys like mexico?

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This one is a little blue.






Mods, don't delete this, it's a favorite.









Q: How can you tell when a woman is having an orgasm?

A: Who gives a sh*t?
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bejarano-korea



Joined: 13 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jkelly80 wrote:
This one is a little blue.






Mods, don't delete this, it's a favorite.









Q: How can you tell when a woman is having an orgasm?

A: Who gives a sh*t?


Laughing

Don't apologize for that mate, facking brilliant!
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WoBW



Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Location: HBC

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two buckets of vomit walking down the street. Suddenly, one starts sobbing.

The other says, "What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

The first bucket of puke turns to an alley the are passing. "I was brought up down there. It makes me feel sentimental."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Paddy is walking down the street after a night in the pub. A prostitute approaches him and says, "What would you say to a little *beep*?"

Paddy replies, "Hellooo,little *beep*."
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seoulsucker



Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jkelly80 wrote:
This one is a little blue.






Mods, don't delete this, it's a favorite.









Q: How can you tell when a woman is having an orgasm?

A: Who gives a sh*t?


Here's another take on that one.

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: Because they think we give a shit.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams three nails on the front desk and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
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