Korean Job Discussion Forums

Panda · Joined: 25 Oct 2008

In i_teach_esl's post < should I break up w/my boyfriend>

Something I wrote got lots of responses, however it was not my orignal intention, which probably disturbed OP as well.

I felt really sorry. Hence, I started this new thread, if you want to leave your two dollars here, you are welcome.

Joe666 · Joined: 19 Nov 2008 Location: Jesus it's hot down here!

I will write what I had previously written in the "should I break up with my boy friend" thread. You are the one of the scariest females on the planet!! I realize you are Asian and that probably plays a major role in you thought processes. I wish you the best in all your future endeavors.

Interesting title to this new thread. I was under the impression that "sleeping with a cheater" was a major Korean past time.

I have alway's tried to live by the motto: Do to others as you would have done to yourself. It usually works out OK. At least in the self-respect department of my soul. The rest is quite empty!!

Maserial · Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Location: The Web

UknowsI · Joined: 16 Apr 2009

I think the main responsibility not to cheat lies on the person in a relationship and there is no way that person can talk himself/herself out of that responsibility.

For the single person involved, the moral is a bit more complicated... If you have the "all is fair in love and war" mindset, then the person might just have done everything possible to be with the love of his/her life (although I guess this mindset might bring up other problems as well). But if you are friends with the person being cheated on, you have definitely betrayed the friendship.

I don't really have any answers to the original problem, but I can't see how it's worse than being the cheater.

Panda · Joined: 25 Oct 2008

Panda · Joined: 25 Oct 2008

Fox · Joined: 04 Mar 2009

calicoe · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Location: South Korea

No, but I think dancing around and shaking your ass in the middle of someone else's pain is the lowest of the low, especially to another woman who has done no harm.

There's my 10 cents. Maybe one of the guys will give you a couple of bucks.

sarahsiobhan · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:06 am Post subject:

Agree with above. Your advice in the other thread made me nearly choke. I was surprised, because I usually agree with you......

I once slept with an ex-bf when I was passing through Toronto, where I used to live, and I am going to be completely honest and say that a major part of the reason I slept with him was because I really missed him and wanted to get back together.

A few weeks later, I got an angry email from his ex from BEFORE ME , ( I am talking YEARS, people) who had gone through all his emails and texts and found ours from the days before and after we were together, and she pretty much gave me sh!t. I had no idea they were together, and I was so ashamed I couldn't even bring myself to acknowledge her email...I just deleted it and promptly threw up.

I have not spoken to him since. I felt indescribably awful, both for her (betrayal) and for me, as I still really miss him, and he knew how I felt, and used me.

So, yeah...sleeping with a cheater? I wouldn't advise it, if you know he is a cheater.

yingwenlaoshi · Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!

**Not posted by me**

prideofidaho · Joined: 19 Mar 2008

Panda, originally you had posted something that caught my eye; which was that you had lots of male friends (who were in relationships) asking you for sex, then in the same breath you said something like 'don't get angry with me - he's your boyfriend.' Sorry if I didn't get that 100% right, but that's how I read it.

I'm probably taking this topic too seriously, but yeah, I do think that sleeping someone you know to have a girlfriend or boyfriend is more than a little wrong. It's self-destructive and it's hurtful to someone you don't even know.

I once dated a guy fro a few months, and as it got physical that was it, and for reasons I'll keep to myself I'm nearly sure that the guy was just cheating on someone with me, which makes me want to puke. If I imagine myself knowingly sexing someone who is cheating, well that's a bit beyond what my guilty conscience can handle.

Then again, some people get turned on by doing very illicit things, and maybe it gets them going to sleep with taken people.

peppermint · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:19 am Post subject:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpdzEpGIqtY

I try to avoid the Married But Available types, but more for my own sanity. If he's willing to cheat with me, why wouldn't' he cheat on me someday? I'd feel somewhat guilty sleeping with someone else's husband, but he's the one breaking vows, and destroying trust, I'm just helping.

If I read the original post right, it seemed like Panda blamed women who sleep with other women's men, because she believes men can't help themselves. I've got too much respect for most of the men in my life to accept that they have so little self control.

Panda · Joined: 25 Oct 2008

Thanks, ladies.

Being a woman, the last thing I want is my boyfriend/husband's betrayal.

I posted that story at the other place was to tell my lady friends: lots of men are with little or no self-control...........

Girls like Panda dont seduce your boyfriend, it is your boyfriend who wants to cheat on you, if its not with panda, it will be with sheep, snake, or cockroach............dont blame others.................if you want to, blame yourself being blind!!

I was single, I didnt give it much sh*t, why should I care, why should I protect some asshole's relationship if he himself didnt care at all.

AmericanExile · Joined: 04 May 2009

Another person's boyfriend/girlfriend is 100% fair game unless they are a friend.

If they are married with children then you are scum to get in the middle and possibly break apart a family.

Married without children - a hard call. Generally I would say if it is a pattern you suck, but if it is just one of those things that happens then c'est la vie.

mc_jc · Joined: 13 Aug 2009 Location: C4B- Cp Red Cloud, Area-I

Thats what wrong with our social values today- we look at cheating as being the fault of the person doing the cheating and the person who slept with the guy/gal.
I blame them but I also don't blame them because although it takes two to tango, the atmosphere and social settings where people come from and where people go play a huge role on what they do and who they meet.
There was a guy I knew from Kentucky who was totally religious. However, when he came to Korea, he ended up breaking up with his wife, shacking up with a girl barely in her 20's and losing his job. He now works as a tutor, having to leave the country every 3 months.
I feel it is the atmosphere in which a person finds themselves that make them do thing that they would otherwise not do.

It all comes down to a person's schematta.